Book Club Page #2

---

can't be wrong.

To... To even be holding

this book is embarrassing.

Who's judging you, your cat?

I do like the idea

of a romance.

We are too old!

[Carol] But it says right here

"for mature audiences."

Yeah, that certainly

sounds like us.

We started this book club

to stimulate our minds.

Well, from what I hear, this

book is quite stimulating.

Oh, God.

So... come on!

- Let's toast to our new book.

- [Carol] All right.

- Oh, good.

- Drink up. Hoist that glass.

- [Carol] Yeah.

- Happy reading, ladies!

[whispers] Oh...

[grunts] Oh, God.

[sighs] Okay.

Oh, my... [groans]

[groans] Oh, I didn't...

I'm really so terribly...

I'm so sorry.

I... I...

[Diane laughs softly]

- You need some help?

- I'm sorry. No, I'm fine.

I really didn't mean

to disturb you.

- Too late.

- I know, I know.

Wow. [exhales]

It's...

This is so humiliating.

[sighs]

- Are you okay?

- I'm...

- I'm really scared of flying.

- You shouldn't be.

Oh, yeah, well,

I won't be once these...

kick into my bloodstream.

The safest way to travel.

- You want to know why you think that?

- Why?

Because you never met anybody

who's been in a plane crash.

- And you want to know why?

- Why?

Because they're all dead.

I think those pills

are affecting you already.

[chuckles] I think so.

Oh, my God.

What... What takes you

to Arizona?

Oh, my...

- My daughters live there.

- Hmm.

Well, that should be fun.

Not exactly.

They're kind of

forcing me to go.

Why?

[sighs] Well...

my husband,

he died last year, so...

Plane crash?

[laughs]

Oh! You didn't say that.

- Sorry, that was a bad joke.

- That's okay.

- I'm really sorry for your loss.

- I'm sorry, too. No, well...

Thank you, that's sweet.

Thank you so much.

- Yeah...

- [thump]

- Oh!

- [woman] Hey!

[shrieks]

[groans]

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

[whispers]

Oh, this is terrible.

- Wow.

- I'm so...

[stammers] That was the jet bridge

and we're still on the ground.

- We're still on the ground?

- Yeah.

I'm so terribly sorry.

[groans]

- I'm quite all right.

- Okay.

Anything I can do to make

your flight more comfortable.

I appreciate that,

thank you so much.

[pop music playing]

[inaudible]

[whispers] Oh, Jesus.

[sighs]

Oh, wow.

[sighs] Oh...

Oh.

Okay.

[whispers]

Give me a break, okay?

This...

[scoffs]

[Vivian] Whoa!

[groans]

[groans] Oh, my God, yes.

- You know, I was wondering.

- Huh?

That must have been one heck

of a book you were reading.

May I ask what it was?

- Moby Dick. That's what it was.

- Moby Dick.

Uh-huh. Melville.

I didn't realize Christian Grey

had a nickname.

- Enjoy Arizona.

- Yeah, sure, of course.

Not a problem.

[assistant, over intercom] Miss O'Donnell,

I have an Arthur Riley for you.

Is that so?

Take a message.

[Arthur]

Take a message?

Really?

[sighs]

I didn't realize that...

[clears throat]

that you were here.

We just saw each other

in the lobby two days ago.

Pity. They say the memory

is the second thing to go.

- What's the first thing to go?

- Can't remember.

I'm impressed.

- How did you find me?

- Google.

- Google?

- Yeah, it's a service on the computer.

Yeah, I know Google.

Oh, well, I'm younger than

you, so I didn't know...

Oh, cute. Cute.

What do you say?

May a gentleman buy you

a cup of coffee?

Well, a gentleman

certainly may.

Do you know of one?

It was the mid-'80s.

I became obsessed

with risk management.

You obsessed with work?

That's crazy.

I know, right?

Shocking!

I could see the system

was set up for trouble.

Of course, none of the men

in my firm believed me.

Well, men can be a little

slow on the uptake.

Bad for them, good for me.

And, um...

you never picked up

a husband along the way?

No!

Like I said,

I'm way too good...

at forecasting risk.

I figure by now,

I've saved myself

- a lot of money in legal fees.

- True dat.

How about you?

Is there a Mrs. Riley?

Oh, yes.

The good Mrs. Riley

is back on the East Coast,

having absconded with

my last name, my dog,

and my co-op on the park.

What did you do wrong?

Well, let's just say

I was a little less good

at assessing risk.

Whoa! Tom, talk about

false advertising.

[trumpet sounds

through speakers]

[whispers] Whoa!

Jesus.

[woman, over computer] Join Tom

and Cheryl and millions of others

who found love on Bumble.

Join Tom and Cheryl as they

copulate in a coconut tree.

- [assistant] Judge Meyers?

- Yes.

Hi. It's 12:
15.

Well, I really have

to stay with this, so, um...

If you could just tell them that we

have to move it to next week, please.

Of course. Yeah.

[woman, over computer]

Rev up your love life

with these tips

from Bumble...

Make love happen now

and change your life...

Do you need anything else,

Your Honor?

[woman, over computer] A man of

your dreams is just a click away.

No, I don't. I'm fine.

- Thank you.

- Yep.

[door opens, closes]

[Arthur] Here you go.

Make a wish.

What are you doing?

I made a wish.

What did you wish for?

I always wish for the same

thing:
a healthy planet.

That's not your wish.

That's not even a wish!

Wishes have to be personal,

not global.

- Since when?

- Since forever.

[sighs]

And secondly, you can't

tell anybody your wish.

Otherwise it negates

the whole thing.

No, God, you're not gonna

go in there. Don't do that.

Well, somebody has to.

You made an improper wish

and you've jeopardized

the entire planet.

Oh, God, you are insane.

You are insane!

Don't go in!

[grunts] Oh...

I have no choice here.

You're obviously

the type of person

who's too delicate

to go in after her own penny.

Oh, you think I'm delicate?

[shrieks]

See? Delicate.

You know, what you're reading

as delicate is this.

It's this bracelet

that costs as much as a car!

Let's see that bracelet.

- Oh, no. Not my phone...

- Oh, dear!

- Oh, dear.

- No, no. Oh, boy.

- Now you have done it.

- Oh, what do you mean?

God, it's scary how addicted

you kids are to your phone.

[grunts]

No, give it to me!

Hold on one second here!

[chuckles] I've never seen...

You know, I think you might need

to talk to someone about this.

I see why you lost

your co-op on the park.

- I hope that's waterproof.

- Oh, no. [squeals]

[chuckles]

[whistle blowing]

- No bathing in the fountain.

- [Arthur] Okay!

But technically,

we're not bathing.

- Arthur.

- And she started it.

He doesn't care who started it!

It was him.

- Out.

- All right.

Oh!

Ah, wait a minute.

- I found it.

- Oh, that's so great.

Oh! Did you see that?

Would you mind

just taking a photo?

[sighs] I hate my life.

It might take

a little bit of time,

but you're gonna love it

here in Arizona.

- I don't...

- Let's face it...

You being here

makes more sense for all of us.

We can't jump on a plane every

time something happens to you.

What are you talking

about, "happens to me"?

You could slip and fall

at any moment.

I don't want

to overstate the dangers

for a woman your age

living alone,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes