Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Page #5

- Yes.

That's a very good observation.

She is your wife?

Nope. That's my wife.

In my country,

they would go crazy for these two.

Not so much.

What should I say if

I need to go to the sh*t hole?

You mean to the restroom?

- To the place to make the sh*t.

- The bathroom? Okay. What you-

Not to bath. To make dirt from anus.

- Not a bath, right. The toilet.

- The brown-

- Where you make- You understand?

- Yes. Yes.

- Bad? Bad thing from it.

- Yes.

- What you do is you say:

- Brown.

"Excuse me,

I need to go to the restroom. "

Excuse me, is it possible

to go and do a, you know...

- To be excused?

- How you say in the, you know...

Upstairs.

Just say, "Excuse me a moment. "

- I need to go, what you say...

- That works. Thank you.

- Can you go upstairs?

- Yes, thank you.

I think that the culturaI differences

are vast...

- Exactly.

- ... and I think he's a delightfuI man..

...and it wouldn't take very much time

for him to really become Americanized.

Thank you very much.

I feeI much better.

- Cindy, where shall I put this?

- Just-

Where should I put this?

Maybe in the other restroom

down here.

In the-

Excuse me-

Excuse me for just a moment, please.

You roll off like this...

...and you wipe your bottom

and you put the paper- Look.

- You, wipe mine?

- No, I don't. You do.

- This is a very private thing.

- The host cleans the anus of the other?

No, no, no.

Nobody touches you, except you.

Can I bring a guest to dinner?

If you have been invited

to a home or to a party...

- Yes.

- ... it is acceptable to bring a guest...

- ... if you ask your host in advance.

- Yes.

GeneraI Stonewall Jackson,

Robert E. Lee.

I think this my friend.

- Hello?

- Hi, I'm looking for Borat.

- Yes, it's me.

- Oh, hi, honey.

- I'm Luenell. Hi, hi.

- Hello, nice to meet you.

- This my friend, Luenell.

- Hi.

Oh, okay...

You all having a dinner party.

Well, we were. I don't know exactly

what all that we're doing-

It is getting very, very late.

Excuse me, I'm going to have to go.

- Okay. Very nice.

- It's getting very, very late...

...and it's time that, you know...

...we were ending

our dinner party and everything.

- I apologize-

- But can't she come for desserts?

Absolutely not,

and neither can you.

- The sheriff is on his way.

- I hope so.

I've already called them.

Why you call police?

Have the retard escaped?

I want say I very sorry

how they treat you in this house.

Thank you.

I was thinking

maybe I'd just take the night off.

Why don't we just go out

and have some fun?

What do you think about that?

You want to come with us?

Up yours!

Hi! My name Borat.

- This my friend, Luenell.

- Hi, Luenell.

She is a prostitute.

You were funny on that bull.

Everybody almost

see your underpants.

I never rode a bull before.

Well, you wanna-?

You wanna come in for a little while?

I would like very much...

...but I in love

with a woman in Malibu.

It would not be nice to her

for me to...

Okay, well, if you're ever in town again,

this way, you know, look me up.

If I ever in town again, Luenell...

...I would very much like

to pay you for sex.

Good night, Luenells.

Good night, Borat.

You say my name right. Borat.

People say Borak

or Billy or Bob.

Bye.

"Pamela is a fairly simple girI,

she recently explained.

'There's not a whole lot of logic

in the way I live my life.

I am very spontaneous. ' "

I'm very spontaneous too.

I needed a gift to give to Pamela...

...so that she would grant me

entry into her vagina.

Therefore, I convinced Azamat to let me

film a report in an American store.

Don't spend more than $3.

We're low on money.

This your shops?

Right, this is my antique shop.

Why do you have so many things

with a flag?

We're honoring our heritage.

Now, what in here? What is this?

These are a number of collectibles.

I mean, this is a lamp that, you know,

you would use in your home.

This is a Chinese cloisonn bell.

And this is a little

decorative duck.

And do you think, you know,

when they-?

I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait.

- We need help, baby.

- No, it's okay.

I sorry.

Sorry. I will repair all of this.

Don't worry. My friend,

he can make glue and-

I don't think you're gonna be able to

glue it. You're gonna have to pay for it.

Okay, I have a digitaI watch

from the future.

I will give you.

Is worth more than all of this.

You broke $425 worth of stuff.

Hundred and sixty, 170, 180.

- That's not enough.

- Do you want hair-?

No, I don't want any damn hair.

This is best hair in Kazakhstan.

FeeI the quality.

I don't want your damn hair.

This is hair from pubis.

I can get 2000 bags by next Friday.

We don't use that stuff

in this country.

Have you offered them pubic hair?

Yes!

Just give me another 20.

It was a mistake.

You screwed up again.

I didn't see the truck.

I slipped on it and that was it.

Only an idiot could do this.

Would you have believed this if I

had told you? All right. Go. Go. Go.

You've ruined this documentary

and almost bankrupt us.

So call the ministry

and get more money.

What?! If I did that,

they would kill us!

California had better be as good

as you say, or we're finished.

You bastard.

What's the matter with you?

How dare you make

hand-party over Pamela.

Why do you care who I

pleasure myself to?

Because I love this woman.

She's the reason

we traveI to California!

What?

You lied to me!

You lied about California!

Eat my a**hole!

Holy...

Okay.

We have a speciaI guest here

this evening. Ruth Feiner is here.

"MORTGAGE BROKERS - ANNUAL BANQUET"

Get the f*** out of here!

So bad news.

Azamat have leave.

I wake up, he disappear...

...and he take Oxana, my bear.

Our bear.

And he also decide

to take all money...

...and also my passport.

And he leave me...

...only this bag, with a hen...

...and ticket to Kazakhstan.

But no passport.

But at least he is...

...man enough to leave me...

...my beautifuI.

Which I have cleaned

since last night.

And I have decide to...

...continue making documentary.

Make it without Azamat.

I think it will be better...

...and we will have more

success without him.

I only want 17 cents, please.

I had no car, no money

and no Azamat.

The only thing keep me going...

...was my dream of one day

holding Pamela in my arms...

...and then making romance explosion

on her stomach.

Eventually, I managed to hike a hitchings

with group of young scholars...

...also traveling across country.

CHI PSI FRATERNITY BROTHER

Univ. of S. Carolina

- How you doing? How you doing?

- Where the f*** are you from, baby?

I am from Kazakhstan.

- Welcome to f***ing America!

- Hey, have a seat. Let's go.

- What's your name?

- Anthony.

- Anthony?

- Yes.

- Anthony.

- And Justin.

- Justin.

- And David.

- David.

- Bartender Dave.

Very nice.

- Can you open this, please?

- Oh, sure.

Thank you very much.

So you like the b*tches out there

in the f***ing old Russia, there?

- What?

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