Botoks Page #5

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- What's that?

- Chaliperdol.

Aren't you afraid he might die?

Oh stop it.

Know how many people I've killed?

They ran the article and we're

invited to present it in Paris.

F*** but it's great here.

How much time do we have?

As much as we want.

The show's tomorrow.

Good, then tell him to drive

around and show us Paris.

- Ask him if he's holding.

- Stop it.

Go ahead and ask him.

I feel like getting high.

Ask him if he'd like

to do a threesome.

No.

Do you like this?

- I'm good.

- Ever been with a woman?

What about a mulatto?

- No.

- Then ask him.

Let's live a little.

Look how hot he is.

No, no, no.

I'll show you my orgasms.

See there, a bit of fun in life.

I'm going to get a tattoo, too.

Are all these people going

to look at my p*ssy?

Beamed in from the next room.

Come on.

What a c*nt.

Don't touch that.

Sit down.

Oh f***, hide me.

Give me your phone number.

If you don't,

I'll find out anyway.

Go ahead and write.

His brain damage is irreversible,

given that we've used every therapy.

The passage of time.

The lack of nervous response

and spontaneous breathing.

The respirator is

ventilating a corpse.

This is my divorce petition.

I've left my wife.

I want to say that I can marry you.

And if we happen to have

a child, great.

How about first telling me

about yourself?

What were you doing in Paris?

- I transport cheese.

- You're a truck driver?

I have a company.

I sell cheese.

I have no outstanding debts.

Here's my bank statement.

What about that cheese?

My biggest nightmares are refugees.

You sell them cheese?

If a refugee jumps into the van

on the border, the whole load

has to be thrown out.

Quarantine

Would you like to eat cheese

with a refugee?

I don't know.

Exactly.

- I'd like to stick you.

- What?

Nothing.

I've decided I like you.

I'm 37 and I've decided to

get pregnant using IVF.

It might be too late, but I want

to try. I'm looking for a father.

I don't have any sperm.

I'm looking for a guy who will

take on the role of a father.

No one will accept a single woman

without a man to sign the papers.

I've got a problem with that.

It's just on paper. I'm not going

to demand you pay child support.

I've got a problem as a Catholic.

You converted your p*ssy into a

prick and you've got a problem?

The Church has already

issued a fatwa on you.

Because the Church has given me

the finger, doesn't mean God has.

In vitro fertilization means

the killing of millions.

Not with me, I've put hundreds

Of my eggs into a bank.

- You must be kidding.

- No.

That's awful, Beata, just awful.

F*** off.

Michal?

There's milk.

I collect nettles.

Grind them up in a blender.

It strengthens me.

I want to show you a music video.

How do you interpret this?

The sex act.

You interpret it very badly.

No, you oversimplified it.

Want to come in?

To take a shower or something.

No, thank you.

No, no, no, wait, stop.

I need emotion.

The right mood.

You beat off in front of me.

Take a cold shower and calm down.

All right

Thanks for our run together.

I know it wasn't easy, but...

I think we did it well.

Hi.

Hi. I've got your documents and

test results. See if they're good.

An abortion patient's waiting in #2.

Doctor, what's going on?

Doctor?

Hush, hush.

Stay calm, breathe deeply.

How's the baby?

Good, the baby's just fine

But I...

I thought the pregnancy

would change him...

I keep puking, my hands shake.

I can't hear, my vision blurs,

and my ears are numb.

I inject myself with Klekson,

I'm scared of deep vein thrombosis

and a heart attack.

I fitted myself with

a holter monitor.

It's normal; you've lost it.

What?

A doctors' illness. You're fried

by the incredible level of stress.

What should I do?

Take time off, exercise, rest,

family suppers. Calm your mind.

I can't decide between the Scot

and the Brazilian.

Why such extremes?

Listen to his voice.

Queer.

You can even see a sample

of his handwriting.

But the Brazilian is expensive.

A thousand.

F***, you mean they have

different prices?

From 400 euro to 1000.

The bigger the family,

the more expensive the sperm.

No, don't take the redhead.

It'll be hell for him in school.

Take the Brazilian.

If he's too dark,

he'll also be screwed.

Then pick some Italian.

He's nice.

No, don't confuse me.

The Brazilian.

We administered drugs to stimulate

your follicles and retrieved 9 eggs.

We fertilized only 6 and of those

only one developed into an embryo,

and it's a very weak one.

Then don't give it to me.

We have to.

It's the law.

What if I get pregnant

with such a child?

It'll die inside you.

Have one.

No, I have to go to work

in the morning.

Darek.

- One.

- Darek, baby, just one.

Two.

One and that's it.

It's all good, but we could use

a piece of ass.

No problem.

Kazik, come help me.

How about a drink, a smoke?

Oh f*** me, give me another.

Hello.

Where are you?

With a girl.

Are you drunk?

Nope, sober as a judge.

I don't believe you. Don't bother

coming to work ever again.

F***.

I had to pick her up.

Look how f***ed up she is.

I can't get a word out of her.

I'll take her home and come back.

Patrycja.

Tell me.

Where's the nearest pharmacy?

On Baleja Street.

Thank you.

Hello.

I'd like to buy some condoms.

With a loony?

- What's a loony?

- A thingy on the end.

- No, without.

- Flavor?

- They come in flavors?

- For the past ten years.

What kind?

We've got strawberry, banana, pear,

blueberry, and apple.

Banana.

- Here you are.

- Or no, blueberry.

Here.

Or, know what?

Make it strawberry.

Are you planning to f*** or

put up jam for the winter?

I'm ready.

Michal, I've got an IUD.

Why don't you come in?

Patrycja, this is FYI.

What is it?

Test results for HIV, syphilis

and other venereal diseases.

Patrycja, you know I had these

tests done especially for you.

Thank you very much, Michal,

but I haven't done such tests.

Patrycja, can I trust you?

Are you gay?

What's your personal hygiene like?

Pretty good I guess.

I'm a doctor.

Ok, I'll get undressed.

Do I embarrass you?

Nudity doesn't terrify me; I'm used

to the sight of the human body.

Ok.

Spiteful people call it a bribe.

L, too, at first thought it's my

job, that it isn't necessary.

But today I know it's the one way

you have of saying "thank you."

I want to thank you for

agreeing to do a C-section.

I don't want my wife to

give birth naturally.

I'm afraid they'll cut, sew,

and disfigure her down there.

Of course, I understand.

For this much I can lend you

the instruments to do it.

One new message.

I know you're due soon, but nobody

wants to work over the long weekend.

The senior registrar has

something to do and left us with

a patient to cut ASAP.

If she wants to operate,

she has to sign it.

What is this?

A statement that if you give

birth early in the hospital,

it'll be your fault.

The patient's in #2.

Make sure you do a C-section.

Hello, my name's Magda.

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