Botoks Page #6

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Halina.

I want to give birth naturally,

but the senior registrar said

that with my diabetes I couldn't.

Halina.

I'm telling you that you can.

You'll give birth normally.

But my husband's already paid him.

He'll have to refund it.

Please give the patient Oxytocin.

How's the C-section?

I'll help her give birth.

I'm worried about mommy.

We've been waiting a long time.

Why didn't you want to operate?

The baby's pulse is dropping.

Looks like the placenta's detached.

Let's go to the operating room.

Prepare the OR!

C-section with iodine.

What's going on?

What's going on?

I think the placenta's completely

detached. Look how she's bleeding.

Suction.

I'm cutting the uterus.

The uterus keeps loosening.

I think she's in death throes.

Oxitocin please.

We've got a clot or DIC.

Order 4 units of blood,

plasma, and Factor 7.

She's stopped.

We have to defib.

Clear!

Give her adrenaline.

Alright, once again.

Clear!

It's been an hour.

What do we do?

Please let the lady die.

Where is my mommy?

Doctor?

Doctor?!

Doctor?!

Well f***, we are a bit to blame.

All right, cause of death is

amniotic fluid embolism.

What?

The procurator won't know and won't

be able to determine the real cause.

It's a bit fishy, but only we

we know the placenta was squishy.

Let's not lose our sense of humour.

We must tame the demons.

I don't know what to write.

Write what we do when a birth

is f***ed up and somebody dies.

The patient was difficult,

uncooperative,

didn't follow orders, and

didn't come on time.

She did not consent to

the treatment we proposed.

But I don't agree.

Then you'll lose your baby.

You can't take it with you

when you go to prison.

You'll get through this.

Good thing you didn't

let him hound you.

We're with you.

12 weeks, the heart isn't beating.

The baby's dead.

My advice is to carry it

another week.

Why?

You should spontaneously miscarry.

That way it'll be easier for

you to get pregnant again.

What should I do with it?

I want to cuddle it.

Do you want to be alone with it?

Yes.

What should we do, use it for

testing, call the funeral parlour,

or do you want to bury it yourself?

I want to bury it myself.

I bribed the funeral parlour.

I'm taking my baby home with me.

I want to cremate it.

You look pretty.

You've lost weight.

Miscarriage suits you.

I'm not a doctor,

just a woman now, all right?

Relax, the baby was ill.

Know what?

You don't know what I f***ing feel.

I know.

I'm very sorry.

You went through it.

Yes.

When will I be able to forget?

Never.

I don't want to be alone today.

What'd they use to make it?

My labia and clitoris.

Do you ejaculate?

Orgasm?

I've got this button

in my testicle.

When you press it...

The corpora cavernosa fill and

I get an erection.

They did a good job.

My wife's been asking me what

kind of birth control we use.

She asks you about what?

I told her about your IUD;

she's also ECO friendly.

She told me that an IUD is unethical

because it causes early miscarriage.

In such cases I listen to her.

The thing is I told my wife

about the condom option.

Hold on.

You talk to your ex-wife

about how we screw?

She's not my ex-wife yet.

What's the difference?

Patrycja, do I sense that you are

somehow biased against Sandra?

I am biased as hell against Sandra

because I'm f***ing jealous of her.

I am very disappointed in you,

Patrycja. Very disappointed.

I have to cool off.

I don't feel well.

Give me a CTG.

But this is a textbook record.

That, what you're hearing?

The transducer must've slid down.

This is a good CTG.

What are f***ing talking about?

My baby's suffocating.

Calm down, you're just another

patient here, not a doctor.

Go get the senior registrar.

Wait.

Something's happening.

Examine me

What?

Umbilical cord prolapse.

We've got 3 minutes.

Otherwise we'll pull out a corpse.

To the operating room.

The OR has to be readied for

a C-section. Where's the doctor?

Out having a smoke.

We need someone to save this baby.

We don't have much time.

- What's your speciality?

- Surgeon.

You have to pull this baby.

You've got two minutes.

C-section with iodine.

Prepare the operating room.

28, 27, 26...

24, 23, 22, 21...

17, 16, 15...

10 seconds, 9, 8, 7...

6 points, that's all I can give.

Sorry.

Come here you homeless b*tch.

Just wait till I hit you.

Oy, take this b*tch out...

Not here.

This b*tch out of this room...

- or I'll kill her.

- Calm down.

We'll take you to post-op.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

All right, someone will be

with you soon.

Hey...

Hey...

Help.

Help.

Help.

Help.

Get a doctor, I want out.

I can't breathe.

Calm down. No one can

breathe in here.

The air-con is broken.

I can open a window for you.

I'm leaving this hospital

on an AMA discharge.

What about the jaundice?

F*** it. I'll rent a light

and treat it at home.

What are you doing here?

I baked you an apple pie and

bought some potting soil.

Why potting soil?

To show you that you can grow

a new world with me.

Patrycja, Sandra's a psychologist

and I had a Hellinger Constellation.

It turns out I love my wife, with

whom I split up a few months ago.

But I took out my IUD for you,

cleaned the upstairs, and

bought a f***ing blender.

Patrycja.

The constellations say that

you were only an element

in the game between

my wife and me.

My wife and I have been divorcing

for five years, and you knew what

you were getting into. You knew.

Can I get you a broom or a mop?

My notice. I'm quitting after

I finish my maternity leave.

Sit down.

Will you adopt Down's

Syndrome babies?

Most mothers don't want to

carry them to term.

Adopt them, and I'll urge them

not to abort.

I don't know what other women do.

You asked how many abortions I did.

Sit down.

712. But when I became pregnant

I also became certain of one thing.

What's that?

I can't do it.

I will never do it again.

Sit down.

Come to the event of the season this

Saturday on the bank of the Vistula.

The burial of my last life stage,

a time of emotional extremes.

I loved madly and experienced joy

in a f***ing ecological dimension.

Passive participants in my

annihilation will drink champagne

on the day I mark as the date

my failed love died.

It lasted 153 days. The funeral

will be held on the beach.

Stricken in grief and sorrow,

that's me. RIP.

You f***ing prick!

I'll bury you, you son of a b*tch.

F*** you and your broom and mop!

Can I get you a f***ing broom?

What a prick.

Listen, I have a request. Starting

today we no longer say "prick."

What do we call it then?

Miroslaw, and call pussies Grazyna.

Come on, Patrycja, let's try.

Patrycja, how's your Grazyna?

Grazyna hasn't seen Miroslaw

for a long time.

She sits in silence suffering,

but doesn't give a sh*t.

Maybe she could find a Miroslaw

who just comes around.

If he knew how to come around.

Daniela, has your Grazyna

seen Miroslaw today?

The Miroslaw from the safari

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