Brasserie Romantiek Page #3

Who's Frank?

Bloody hell, now I recognise him.

Frank the student?

- Was his surname Janssens?

- No, he wanted to surprise me.

Frankie. Wow, he's got old!

- Who's Frank?

- Frank was the local Casanova.

And your auntie was crazy about him.

- Besotted. Admit it.

- That'll do, Angelo.

They were out on the town together

every night. Every night.

Yeah, I remember. You standing at

the stove and Frank going like this...

Stop it, Angelo.

Well, well, well, well!

What a woman!

- Now what?

- What?

What do I do?

What do I talk about? I'm boring.

I'm the most boring man in Europe,

well, in Western Europe.

I know. Let me think...

- I'll... I'll talk about my work.

- No, not about your work.

That won't do the trick,

women aren't interested in that.

Never mention your work.

What should I talk about then?

You start...

You start with...

a joke.

A joke always works.

It's a good way to relax women.

They relax, they laugh,

things start moving.

Things whiz around, they flow.

Start by telling her a joke.

'OK.

There is this enormous ejaculation

and two sperm...

...leave the rest behind them...

'Hey, hold on a minute, hold on.

This is a lot further than

during training. How come?'

'Hold on. Let's check where we are. '

'You could be right.

We're still only in the gullet. '

Hey, I've just realised! You're thingy,

from the chocolate shop. Mia.

- Eh? It's been there a long time.

- Yes, it has been there a long time.

- It used to belong to my mother.

- I knew I was right.

I knew how to make chocolates

before I could even walk.

At the back of the workshop...

it's still there...

there was a big vat of

warm, liquid milk chocolate.

And when Mum wasn't looking

I'd put my head under the tap,

with my mouth wide open, and swallow

and swallow for about thirty seconds.

My poor mother. If she had known...

She died far too young.

- My father too.

- Really? Cancer?

No, murder. My dad used to hit her.

Usually at the beginning of summer.

Strange, eh?

The nice weather started and

whack, it all went wrong.

She saved up all kinds of pills

from the pharmacy for over a year

and then put them in a chocolate.

- Really?

- My dad was dead in under ten seconds.

She went to prison, of course.

But she said to me:

'Listen carefully, sweetheart.

Love, true love, is like life itself.

You only get one go at it. '

My wedding...

...was the best day of my life.

Life had been miserable up till then,

I always fell for the wrong guy.

But Yves was Mr Right.

He was it.

The circle is complete.

Let me give you some good advice, Mia.

I can call you Mia, can't I?

Flush that ring down the toilet,

forget Yves and get on with your life.

- My vat's been turned off.

- How can you say something like that?

An attractive woman like you...

Excuse me a moment, I have to...

- Yes, sir?

- No, Pascaline.

Pascaline.

Table 7...

- Yes?

- Nothing. Well, it was very nice.

That girl in the kitchen.

Is she your... your daughter?

No, she's my niece.

She's living with me. For now.

What d'you think about my suggestion?

You're too late, Frank.

You should have asked me that

23 years ago.

But you had other plans.

- You went to find yourself in India.

- I was... How old was I?

So was I. I was young too.

And in love. And pregnant.

It was a joint decision.

It was what you wanted too...

Yes, and then you left.

The promising student

didn't dare marry a waitress

with no qualifications.

It's true, Frank.

You never introduced me to your parents.

But now your father's dead, you're here.

- It's too late.

- I loved you, Pascaline.

- And I still love you.

- I loved you too.

- Well then. So now I'm saying...

- D'you think I'm going to rush off

with an idiot who left me in the lurch

23 years ago?

Why not? You're alone too.

- Not so loud.

- I'm not, you are.

There's obviously no one

to keep you here, Pascaline.

And I can give you another life,

a new life.

Preferably together with me.

Any more questions about the menu,

Mr Janssens?

Think about it.

- Hey, careful.

- Sorry. Sorry.

IBERIAN HAM WITH SCALLOPS

BUTTERNUT SQUASH, GINGER

BISCUIT & PINE NUT CRUMBLE

Well, well. Your ex back in

our restaurant on Valentine's Day.

What a coincidence!

- Kevin, where are my rolls?

- Sh*t!

Kevin, have you got spinach for brains?

What's the matter with you?

This Frank... How long ago was it?

- Um, 21, 22, 23 years.

- Almost a lifetime, eh?

- It is a lifetime.

- Were you already working here then?

Yes. I was a bit older than you

when I started working here.

You know your auntie never got

any qualifications, Emma.

Went partying with Frank instead.

Partying with Frank!

I went out for a drink sometimes.

I had to look after you and

the brasserie. Partying with Frank!

You came in every morning puffy-eyed.

But there wasn't anyone to stop you.

- I was 19.

- Why is he here, anyway?

He's come to see me.

- He's going back to Buenos Aires tonight.

- Buenos Aires, in Spain?

Honestly, Emma! Buenos Aires isn't

in Spain, it's in thingy...

Yeah, it's the middle of summer

there now.

There are two eggs and

they are running really fast

and suddenly one says to

'Phew!

We should've been there by now. '

And the other one says:

'Yes, during training they said we'd

reach the sperm really quickly and... '

- You don't do that professionally, eh?

- What do you mean, professionally?

Tell jokes.

Uh, no, I work for

the Ministry of the Flemish Community.

No, no, no...

- I wasn't going to talk about my work.

- Do you work for the Tax Department?

No, I work for the Energy and

Natural Resources Department.

It mainly involves studies, research,

files about the condition of the soil.

- The condition of the soil?

- Yes, Flemish soil.

Stones, types of sand,

gravel... clay...

Oh, so you study stones?

Yes, I'm a geologist...

The origin of the world

can be found in a stone.

In it you can read everything about

the ice ages, continental drifts,

periods of global warming.

All the mysteries of the universe

can be found in a stone.

Wow!

You're so passionate, Walter.

I hear you talking

and all I can think is wow!

I have to...

- Would you like another roll?

- Yes, please.

Who is it?

No one.

- If something's the matter, tell me.

- Nothing's the matter, Paul.

Honestly, what could be the matter?

I've got everything

a 44-year-old woman needs.

A husband, two healthy children,

my own car, half a villa,

we go on holiday at least twice a year,

once somewhere hot and once skiing.

I've got 81 pairs of shoes and a lover,

what else could I want?

- Some more wine. Madam?

- Yes.

- There you are.

- Thank you.

- Sir too?

- No, no, no.

- Are you serious?

- Yes. I counted them last week.

- 81 pairs, that's a lot.

- No, about the lover.

You had me worried for a moment.

I almost thought you meant it.

- Scared you, eh?

- No, you can't have a lover.

Although you could have one.

An attractive woman like you.

Sorry.

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