Bride & Prejudice Page #3

Or do you resent them

because they leave less room for make-up?

No.

No, l just never have time for them.

lndians here have a lot more free time.

Or maybe you're just a much more

accomplished woman than l am.

Mm-hm. Maybe.

(Darcy chuckles)

Darcy's a great reader.

ln fact, l think a love of books

is on his list for his ideal woman.

l think you've had one too many Sea Breezes.

l remember a very drunken night in Oxford

when you recited the list.

She has to be smart, speak several languages...

All right, Kiran, drop it.

No, l recall, she had to be athletic,

voluptuous, of course,

graceful, witty, confident...

l'm not surprised Mr Darcy hasn't found

his ideal woman with a list like that.

Does this mean you're an ideal man?

(Laughs) l guess you'd be

a better judge of that than me.

As far as l can tell, most men have faults.

Arrogance, pride, vanity...

She's certainly read you like a book, Darcy.

No.

l just think you got me all wrong.

Well, you'd certainly have trouble

finding your ideal woman in lndia.

l didn't hear ''simple'', ''traditional'',

''subservient'' on your list.

Come on, give me a break.

Now you're twisting my words.

You said yourself that you're used to the best.

l'm sure you think lndia's beneath you.

lf l really thought that,

then why would l be thinking about

buying this place?

(Laughs) You think this is lndia?

Well, don't you wanna see more investment,

more jobs?

Yes, but who does it really benefit?

You want people to come to lndia

without having to deal with lndians.

That's good. Remind me to add that

to the tourism brochure.

lsn't that what all tourists want here?

5-star comfort with a bit of culture thrown in?

l don't want you turning lndia into a theme park.

l thought we got rid of imperialists like you.

l'm not British. l'm American.

Exactly.

(Gentle guitar music)

What the hell's he doing here?

Oh, my God.

Hello.

# Enter in the dance

Plug it in an' we begin

# Crowd up in the centre

# They watch be dibidim

# Watch the way we drop it in a mix timing

# Rise and amplifying

when we come in with the swing

# Just following the back

an' naturally harmonisin'

# Climb into position

with synchronised things

# Live from out the ghetto we maximisin'

# Sound of the Groove Armada,

we superstylin'

# We superstylin'...

- Hello again.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Fine. Thanks.

- Can l join you?

- Sure.

- Would you like a drink?

- No, thanks. l'm not much of a drinker.

Neither am l. l only drink here

cos it's cheaper than the water.

l'm Johnny, by the way.

Johnny Wickham.

Pleased to meet you, Johnny. l'm Lalita.

Lalita.

How do you know Will Darcy?

l saw you two blank each other.

l was going to go over and say hi to the guy,

but then l realised l'd have to talk to the wanker.

We sort of grew up together,

cos my mum used to work for Darcy's family

in England.

She was his nanny.

See, their family had a couple of

big old country hotels.

Dad was a really keen golfer.

Well, Darcy's dad was a really keen golfer.

l used to caddy for him. Really nice old fella.

Gave me a great job when l left school,

and l don't know, Darcy was never too keen.

So when the old man died a few years back,

you can guess who was the first one to get fired.

What, just like that?

With his dad gone,

he didn't have to explain, did he?

But your mum helped raise him.

Yes, she did.

You know, Darcy's mum

is even worse than he is.

She's been trying to get him hitched to this...

this rich New York girl for years.

lt's the ultimate business merger.

So she's arranging his marriage?

- You could call it that, yeah.

- What a hypocrite.

See, that's the great thing about living in lndia.

You don't have to have money

to enjoy this place,

and if you have money, you never get

to see the real lndia, you know?

l just feel like people here

have got their priorities sorted.

l'd love for you to come to Amritsar.

lt's... lt's beautiful.

lt's just that not many tourists go there.

Am...Amritsar?

ls that where the Golden Temple is?

Yeah.

l'm sorry we're leaving today,

but l'd love to show you my home town.

Yeah, l'd love to show you London.

# My eyes are searching

My hips are working

# My lips are waiting

Take me to love

# My skin's pulsating

My body's shaking

# My lips are aching

Take me to love

# Payal bajake

Gungru bajake

# Tu je divana kar dar la

# Churi bajake

# Chutkhi bajake

# Tu je divana kar dar la

# lndia's the place for me

# lndia sets you free

# Shola badan hai mera

# Badan pay sitare hai

# Akho me hai bijiliah

# Le bo meh shirareh hai

# My eyes are searching

My hips are working

# My lips are waiting

Take me to love

# Oh! Whoa-oh!

# Take me

# Take me to love

# To love

(Cheering and applause)

- (Fireworks exploding)

- Oh, my God!

MRS BAKSHl:
Hurry up, Bijili. And be careful!

Oh!

- Ah, you're back.

- What's going on, Lakhi?

Everything OK?

- Yes, Mama, it was lovely.

- Good.

Now one is all but taken care of,

we have to prepare for Number 2.

- What?

- Maya, hurry up with the bucket!

He'll be here soon.

- Who? Who, Mama?

- Don't ask me.

Kholi saab. He's on his way from the airport.

- Who?

- Kholi.

He's your father's sister's husband's sister's son.

And he's a top accountant in California.

But why is he coming here?

To look at me for his bride. What do you think?

(Horn beeps)

Hurry up, girls, come on here.

l want to look at you.

Hurry up, hurry up. Come on, fast.

Now, listen to me carefully, girls, huh.

lt's very important to make a good

first impression on Kholi saab.

Stand straight...smile...

..don't talk unnecessarily,

and don't say anything too intelligent. You!

Shame she only selectively practises

what she preaches.

Why don't you go outside

and welcome the guest?

l'll do that.

Bijili, go outside and get the luggage.

Mamaji! Whassup!

Hello. How are you?

Yes, madam, no problem. Bijili is here.

Go outside, you bloody fool.

Hey, hey! Eurgh!

MR BAKSHl:
Bijili.

- Oh.

- Hey!

Come in, Kholi saab. Welcome.

We weren't expecting you so early.

You've really taken us by surprise.

What a pleasure to see you, Mamaji,

after so long time.

Oh. Oh, ho.

Oh, of course. You remember my daughters.

Jaya, Lalita,

Maya and Lakhi.

Oh!

From small great caterpillars

to such beautiful b-butterflies.

- And so like you...Madame Butterfly.

(Mr Bakshi coughs)

This is my dream home.

Colonial style.

Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms,

$850,000.

- That's four crores, 25 lakhs.

- Oh, my.

l bought it only six months ago.

lt's already worth $900,000.

l bet it has three swimming pools.

Actually, the complex has two pools,

er, plus my crib.

lt has its own hot-tub bath with super-jets.

lt's the bomb.

ls it near Beverly Hills 9-zero-2-1-zero?

No.

No, it's in the valley.

Er, but 20 minutes down 1 01 Freeway,

and you're in North Hollywood.

Did you hear that, Lalita?

He lives in Hollywood.

You must join me in US.

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