Bride Wars Page #5

Oh, wait. That's right.

You don't have a spine.

- [ Women Murmuring ]

- Wow.

No one could accuse you

of being soft, Liv.

You grabbed the first date

in june Marion offered:::

without even asking me first.

At least I'm not so terrified

of being alone...

that I people-please

my way through life.

Emma, you settle.

Are you saying that

I'm settling with Fletcher?

I wasn't thinking about Fletcher.

You came up with that one on your own.

Ooh.

Move your date, Liv.

You move your date, Emma.

It's done. You lose.

Your wedding better watch it.

What did you just say?

I said your wedding

should be very scared right now.

If I were your wedding,

I'd sleep with one eye open.

Why don't you just

save your threats for Daniel?

After all, isn't that how

you got a proposal out of him?

- [ Whispering ] That's how I did it.

- Your wedding can suck it.

What did you just say?

My wedding can suck it?

- I said your wedding can suck it.

- Your wedding can s- be-

I mean, yours can be, um-

Can-Can be, uh-

- [ Snickers ]

- not that-

Please.

- Bye, ladies.

- Hey, Liv.

[ Whispering ]

Yes.

Your wedding will be huge.

Just like your ass at prom.

[ All Gasp ]

We're done.

- Done.

- Hmm.

- Good.

Now we just have to find you

another maid of honor, uh, and fast.

You'll be spending more time

with her than with the groom.

- My friends won't take sides.

- Who says it has to be a friend?

- No! No! Not just a bridesmaid.

- [ Man ] This spot okay?

Yeah. Maid of honor. Maid of honor.

Yeah. We were so close in law school.

That study group was nuts.

Oh, sweetie, you are

my second cousin's best friend.

Of course you were at the very top

of my maid of honor list.

Honestly, Carla. Caitlin?

Erin, no. I did not sleep with him.

All right, okay. I did, actually.

Once. Twice.

What difference does it make?

He was a loser, and he was lousy in-

You did? Really?

I didn't hear that-

Two kids? Wow. You guys

must have had really cute kids.

Uh, yeah. Tell him I say hi, and-

Actually, I'm hopping into a cab,

so I'm gonna give you a call a little later.

- Kevin?

- Yeah?

I'd like to promote you-

to mister of honor.

Do I get- Is-

Is it, like, a pay thing?

No.just- It's just an honor.

[ Deb ] Uh, have a classmate read your draft:

I think that's a great idea:

Because by letting a classmate

read your draft-

Oh, thank God. All right.

You guys finish the rest of this.

Just read it yourselves.

- Did you get my note?

- Yeah.

Can you take my late bus patrol today?

Sure.

- Deb?

- Yeah?

- [ Chuckles ]

- [ Chuckling ] Yeah?

- I know we're not exactly friends-

- We're not?

- Then why am I always doing you favors?

- You never do me-

[ Clears Throat ]

Never mind.

How'd you like to be my maid of honor?

Do I get to pick out my own dress?

I tend to draw the eye,

so it's gotta be good.

Absolutely.

I mean, you know, I might

make some suggestions, but-

Oh, you know, I'm really swamped though.

I'd need a lot of help.

What do you think the bride is for?

To make the maid of honor's

life easier, right?

[ Chuckling ]

I mean, come on. Please.

Aw. All right. Since you begged-

- Okay.

- I'll be your maid of honor.

It's gonna be great.

- [ Door Shuts ]

- It's gonna be great.

- ##[ Stereo:
Classical ]

- [ Slurping ]

[ Gargles ]

Whew.

Hey, can I make a suggestion?

Have you ever heard

of""pee-not gree-gio''?

It's this really nice white wine:

It's very elegant.

[ Slurps ]

Mmm.

- Now, your music is-

- Yes.

still pending, and, sadly, D.j. Humble

is no longer available on that date.

Oh? But he and I had a deal- in principle.

Yes, well, one of

my other brides outbid you.

I can't give you

her name, of course:

That b*tch!

Not you. No, a different one.

A person.

God, she's scary.

- You don't think that Liv-

- Yeah, I do.

No. No. She knew

how much that meant to me.

- It's too cruel. It's too mean-spirited.

- Too in character?

Hang on. Wait.

Didn't you tell me

she's wearing a Vera Wang?

- Yes.

- I read those run really tight...

and she's kind of an ex-heifer.

No. No, she's-

She's- Little bit.

Mmm. Oh!

That is good. Excellent.

Is that like cream cheese?

It is cream cheese.

Like a hint.

[ Inhales ]

- Has Emma chosen her cake yet?

- Let's keep to our own work, shall we?

Now, as for the flowers,

Eufloria has put in a bid.

We just can't have the same cake, that's all.

And I have to have the seven-tiered...

white chocolate-curl torte, enrobed

in marzipan with edible pearls and flourishes.

Well, you're safe.

Emma has chosen

a less extravagant cake.

And she's always saying

that she doesn't need...

to impress people

with how much she can spend.

- I'm just going to check my ice sculptor Rolodex.

- Right.

Oh, my God.

That was a dig at me.

Emma thinks I'm showing off?

I never thought she resented how much

money I made, but I guess I was wrong.

Really? I didn't get that

from what she-

Marion's eating it up.

[ Sniffs ]

[ Exhales ]

She likes Emma best.

Emma always gets the sympathy vote.

I never get the sympathy vote, do I?

Well, maybe it's asking

a little bit too much of people-

I was worried about her cake. It could be

two Ding-Dongs and a Yodel for all I care.

What's that? What's that?

Don't-

[ Liv ]

Dance lessons?

Damn, she's competitive.

Their dance is totally gonna be better than ours.

Let me see Canary Song again.

Dandelion. Canary.

- Isn't there something in between?

- Sort of like a burnt Canary.

Video montage of their lives? Really?

- It's gotta be Fletcher's idea:

- That's just-

It's gonna be, like,

pictures of them as babies.

You know, Emma with one tooth...

and Fletcher in his little

superhero outfits. It's tacky.

- [ Knocking ]

- Can I help you?

- Yeah. Delivery for Liv Lerner.

- That's chocolate.

I'll take that.

Mmm. Looks good.

""Liv, you deserve this and more.''

Isn't Daniel the sweetest?

- I'll just have one.

- Thanks.

Just one.

- W-Was she up there?

- Yeah.

- Oh. And it's impossible to go get them back?

- No, no, no, no.

She ate half the box already, lady.

Forty-five dollars.

Yes. Okay.

That is the agreed upon-

But just so you know-

[ Chuckles ]

if you heard what was actually

going on, you would totally side with me.

- You gonna tip me?

- I thought that was including tip...

but anyway, I'll give it to you

because I'm the Paula.

You know, I've been thinking.

- If you really want to mess

with Emma's first dance-

- Mm-hmm?

- There are ways.

- Tell me more.

I don't know, baby. Dance class?

Come on. We know how to dance.

It's a slow dance.

It's like we did in college.

It's a waltz. It's a little more precise

than just holding each other up.

And besides, Marion says

that our first dance...

- introduces our couple style to the world.

- Oh, well, naturally...

- I'm incredibly concerned with our couple style.

- [ Door Opens ]

SpaceI

[ Laughs ]

I am Ricky Coo...

the Doctor of Dance.

I bring you motion.

I bring you rhythm.

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