Bride Wars Page #6

I bring you sex:

Rlease, get on your feet,

and let's danceI

- [ Man On Stereo ] # Y'all ready for this? #

- ##[ Techno-Rop Dance Beat ]

#Dance #

#Dance #

#Dance #

[ Both Panting ]

Maybe Marion shouldn't be recommending

Ricky Coo, Doctor of Dance so much.

Yeah. I don't know about Ricky.

[ Man ]

Good for you:
Doing warm-ups:

Yeah, I got your voice mail saying you wanted

to push the lesson from 1 :00 to 4:00.

How long have you been here?

Oh, my God.

[ Scoffs ]

- What?

- Liv.

- Uh,just give us a second.

- [ Fletcher] I mean, who does that?

She's finally gone completely crazy.

Not that I'm surprised at all.

- I mean, she's always been nuts.

- I know. And messing with our couple style?

- There is no way I'm letting her get away with that.

- Good.

- [ Groans ]

- You know who I feel sorry for is Daniel.

[ Snorts ] He's not even gonna

be able to control his own wife.

What?

- No, I'm just saying- It's Liv.

Because she never thinks about-

- And?

- I'm going inside.

- What?

[ Marion Narrating ] The final month

before the big day is a litmus test for couples:::

ofhow they work together,

solve problems, communicate:

The early, happy glow is over,

and the nerves begin to set in:

With some couples, it brings out the

fundamental conflicts in their relationship:

With other couples, the lucky ones:::

it highlights the essential harmony

of their partnership:

Of course, even the luckiest bride

needs something to take the edge off:

Ooh, for me! Ajolly Walrus cookie bouquet.

Is Daniel a keeper or what?

I'd just be careful.

Miss Wang is a stern mistress.

Video montage- If there's gonna be

live pictures and, like, video footage-

I know. It's, like, verging on

being a digital short.

I don't know how they're gonna

cut me out of the footage. I'm in everything.

Oh, this came for you via messenger.

I can't wait to get into this one.

Mr. Simmons called again asking

for the update on the agreement.

- Rutherford Rress? That's my hometown.

- I'm just gonna take this.

Suppose I should just tell them

you're dealing with a crisis?

Oh, my God.

They still print

engagement announcements.

I'm sort of like a celebrity

back there, probably.

You know, it's like, local girl

makes good. Such sweet people.

- Oh, wow!

- What the?

That's not you:
Is it?

Emma looks gorgeous.

- But not on the inside, which is-

- Kevin.

It's the best she can do, huh?

- So lame. She wants to

play dirty? I can play dirty.

- [ Dial Tone, Beeping ]

You can play dirty.

I've seen you do it.

I went to law school, people.

I'm starting to think

that 30 is the cutoff.

- Mmm.

- Because it's the last time men

want to date women their age.

A 30-year-old guy will

date a 30-year-old girl.

But a 3 5-year-old guy

wants someone 30.

A 40-year-old guy

wants someone 30, too, or 28.

- Mm-hmm.

- It's a terrible planet.

I know. You know

what I was wondering?

What are the real reasons behind

Emma and Fletcher having to tie the knot?

Why can't they change their date?

Think about it.

- She's pregnant! Emma's pregnant!

- [ Chuckles ]

Oh, no.

[ Groans ]

- Oh, no!

- Liv?

- Are you all right? What the hell is goin' on?

- [ Groaning ]

Look, let me inI

I gained five pounds.

Five pounds. It might as well be 50!

The dress doesn't fit!

And if the dress doesn't fit...

my wedding's gonna be

a big black hole in the history of the Plaza!

Well, "A ''it's our wedding, hon:

And ""B''... so what? Let it out.

You don't alter Vera Wang to fit you.

You alter yourself to fit Vera.

- What do boys learn in school?

- Sorry:

It's not the end of the world:

Really. What-What-What can I do

to make you feel better?

It's what you can stop doing.

This is all your fault.

- It's sweet of you to send me those treats, but I-

- What treats?

You know, the treats.

The Truffle-opolis.

The truffle tray.

Thejolly Walrus cookie bouquet?

International Butter Club?

The- Honey- [ Chuckles ]

I didn't send you any of that.

Oh, my God, Emma!

She's trying to make me fat

so I can't fit into my dress!

What is that? What is that?

The International Butter Club?

You mean, you've actually

been sitting around...

eating sticks of butter

from different lands?

[ Marion Narrating ]

The final week before the wedding is do-or-die:

I expect my brides to be flawless:

Rerfect hair, skin, nails, everything:

[ With English Accent ] Hello there.

I need to get to the back really fast.

Really, really fast, because

I left something there yesterday.

- It's very important that I-

- I so don't care.

Go on back.

- Miss Allan:

- Oh, hi.

Hi. Bit of Honey today?

That's the one I loaded.

Yes, but, uh,just a pre-wedding glow.

- Sure thing.

- Okay, thanks.

[ Woman ]

#I wish you well #

#I hope you survive #

#I hope you live on, baby #

#So I can watch you cry #

# 'Cause I know

in time you'll see #

# What you did to me #

#And you'll come runnin'back #

#I'm gonna rain

on your parade #

#Oh, I won't take it again #

#And I'll keep raining, raining, raining #

#Over you #

Wow!

What happened to you?

You look like a traffic cone:

Will it fade?

Sort of:
[ Whispers ]

This is three loofahs:

Is it that bad? Fletch said

he didn't think it was that bad.

Oh, well, honey,

""Filch'' is your fiance.

He probably told you

you had nice hair too.

[ Liv ]

This wedding stuff is not a walk in the park:

- For sure:

- I'm surprised:
I don't know:

I'm surprised I haven't been, you know,

sent into my therapist's office.

That's what I've heard. T-U-F-F.

You should have heard me

on the phone the other day...

- talking to the guy

who messed up my centerpieces.

- Oh, gosh.

It was unbelievable. It's like one thing

after another, every single time.

- It snowballs.

- Listen, can I get a little bit more lowlight?

Yeah, especially right here. Hold that thought,

sweetie. I'm gonna get your color.

Just make sure it's not so-

Like, more gold base.

#I'm gonna rain

on your parade #

#No, I won't take it again #

#And I'll keep raining, raining, raining

over you #

- Maybe I should take up chanting.

-##[ Continues ]

I think it's kind of- might be

necessary at this time of my life.

- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God. Is it good?

Great!

I get to do noth-

[ Gasps ]

Okay. I-I don't know

what happened. Um-

I gotta let it sit for a day or two.

Maybe I'll try to strip it down to white.

My hair's blue!

It's blue! I have blue hair!

- I'm getting married in a week.

- Congratulations.

In a week! A week!

Come on. I know you're in here.

Ah, here's your video montage.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

Fletch?

Bug? Do you have something

you need to tell me?

- Um-

- Are we about to have a little orange baby?

Apparently we're registered

at Babies ''R'' Us:

Isn't that nice?

Marissa. Where are you?

I can barely hear you.

I can't believe you told Emma.

Whatever.

You guys, don't get too

attached to the dancers.

They're paid to be nice to you.

- Yeah!

- #New York and japan #

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