Bridegroom Page #5

pooh-poohed it off, and he said,

"ah, you know how

these california kids are. "

Those phone calls

for those next two days,

Until tom got out of there,

were just...

My heart just broke

for both of those boys.

It was just so scary and so sad.

- So, that next morning,

Tom's parents

were in the kitchen

With a bible on the table.

Out loud, they were saying

the verses,

Almost, in a way,

just to justify

That, the day before,

They beat up their son

because he was gay.

He's like,

"I can't believe this.

"I just got attacked

and told

"that I should have taken

the fact that I'm gay

To the grave. "

- # merry christmas

- It was just an awful situation,

And tom, you know, got out

of there as soon as he could

And flew back to california.

- # to you

- So, eventually, martha made

her way out to california,

And I was

really, really nervous.

This was like the first time

that I was going to see martha

Since that,

you know, horrible experience.

- I think martha came here

Because she did not want

to lose her son.

So she had to embrace shane

And act like she accepted

the relationship.

- It was a little awkward

for awhile.

But, eventually, you know,

we warmed up to each other.

We would go to dinner.

Tom and her would laugh,

like, hysterically.

When they get together,

It's like two little,

old ladies.

And although she didn't say,

like, you know,

"shane, I'm sorry,"

or, "tom, I'm sorry

For how we handled everything,"

To us,

it was like this is her way

Of showing

that she's accepting us.

- It wasn't that she loved

her son... she loved her son.

And whatever it took

to be near him, she did.

If she had to push a plow,

She would,

just to be near her son.

- She has this picture where

they went to grauman theatre

And saw elvis' handprints.

She said that was

the happiest day of her life.

I think she truly enjoyed

coming out to california.

- And then she would get back

to indiana,

And, basically, wouldn't

acknowledge tom's life here.

And, you know, again,

It was kind of like

just baby steps.

Truly, after like a few times,

We felt like she was okay

with us

And she was happy for us.

She even insisted

on tom and me taking the bedroom

While she stayed on the sofa

with our dog.

- Justin. I can't believe you.

Look at me.

How could you...

Leave all alone?

Okay, I miss you, and you just

want to stay with her.

You're such a traitor.

Yeah. You put that head down.

- Tom was obsessed with his dog.

Tom was always,

always taking pictures of him.

It was like someone

with, like, a newborn baby.

He was actually found abandoned

under a car in hollywood.

- Hi, napoleon. How are you?

- He had a santa claus outfit,

And he had

some other crazy outfit.

And I thought, "oh, my god.

"this is not

gonna be two gay boys

With their gay, little dog,

is it?"

And sure enough...

pretty quick, on facebook,

Tom was taking pictures of

justin bobby

In his little rain gear.

And I thought, "oh, my god.

You guys, come on.

You got to quit that. "

So...

- Another dream

that tom and I had,

Aside from wanting to be married

and have a family,

Was we wanted

to travel the world together.

And our goal was to hit

all the wonders of the world.

And we managed to make it

to four before tom died.

- # see the pyramids

along the nile #

# watch the sunrise

on a tropic isle #

- They enjoyed living.

When they traveled together,

that's what would just amaze me,

Where they went to egypt and

to peru and london and paris.

- The way tom and shane were able

to afford these trips

Is they're, first of all,

very frugal,

And not only did shane work

the job that he did for us,

Tom would work, you know,

get extra jobs

Doing commercials or whatever

So they could travel

to all these places.

And they didn't go first class.

They would travel

like they were students.

- The first trip

I remember them taking

Was to egypt, down the nile.

But it wasn't

the kind of trip

That I would have gone on.

They slept on the deck

With canvas dividers,

covered in blankets,

And tom caught pneumonia,

But they had

one heck of a good time.

- # just remember

till you're home again #

# you belong to me

- Tom and I reached a point

Where we were ready

for him to come to montana.

You know, I kept talking

about how beautiful montana is.

But for me, it was more about...

you know, I was just excited

For him to finally meet

my entire family.

- My dad, all his life,

was a logger.

I mean, he told gay jokes...

Not the type of person that

you could sit down and be like,

"hey, your son's gay,"

and he would take it easily.

- The first time I ever met tom,

I had just been to town,

And I had seen my daughter's car

in the driveway.

- So shane and tom

jumped in the closet to hide,

And then my dad walks in,

And they both jump out

of the closet like, "surprise!"

- And here's my boy,

and here's his partner.

And it worked...

they surprised me.

- And we just thought

It was funnier than hell

that they did that,

Because it's like they came out

of the closet at my dad's house.

- Tom, he knew

I was a macho-type guy,

And maybe that I was gonna have

The macho-type conservatism

that wouldn't accept him,

And you could just see

he tried all the time around me.

And I appreciated that...

Him trying,

him trying to be likeable.

It was easy to like tom.

He was a great guy.

- Tom was a pistol.

He was so much fun to be around.

I saw that he made shane laugh.

It's the type of happiness

you have

When you meet your soul mate.

And that made

all my worries just disappear.

- So, tom and I went to arizona

to visit my grandparents.

- Shane was so happy.

It was the happiest

that I'd ever seen him,

Since he was a little kid on up.

- And my great-grandma pat

was there.

And no one told grandma pat

that tom and I were a couple.

She was like,

"oh, nice to meet you. "

And then, later,

I heard her in the other room

Ask my grandma judy like,

"so, who was that guy?"

- Well, I never knew

shane was gay,

But I met his partner,

and he was a very nice guy,

And we all liked him

and went along fine with it.

- Tom was fascinated with

grandma pat for a few reasons.

You know, every year,

she keeps track

Of how many snakes she kills.

- Well,

I'm always after a snake...

I don't want them around.

- I mean, you killed

up to how many in a spring...

Every spring?

- Oh,

I killed up to 40 or better.

- After tom and I went for a walk

with both of my grandmas,

When we were coming back

into the house,

Grandma pat like put her arm

around tom.

She was like,

"welcome to the family. "

She's 90 years old,

And, you know, she's accepting

our relationship.

- People that talk about them,

They don't understand

a lot of it.

- And they think that, if they go

to church and everything,

That god will take care of it...

They can be just like

all the rest of the guys.

And so you can't get through

to them.

To tell you the truth,

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