Bridesmaids Page #4

What? What?

Get your

taillights fixed...

I promise.

I promise I will.

I promise. Thank you.

...Before you kill someone.

I'm not going to

kill anybody.

All right.

Here, there's your ID.

And I'm going

to give you this.

It's a buddy of mine.

He has a body

shop in Milwaukee.

He'll fix those

right up for you.

Bill Cozbi?

Yeah, with a "Z."

Different guy.

Yeah.

And don't mention

the whole "Bill

Cosby" thing to him.

It drives him nuts.

I mean it.

Okay, I get it. Thanks.

You know what?

If you mention my name,

that I referred you,

he'll give you

a particularly

good deal.

My gosh. Thank you.

I really appreciate it.

Thanks.

Okay. Well,

I appreciated your cakes.

So, we are even.

That's me, there.

Rhodes. Officer Rhodes.

That's really

nice of you.

Thank you.

We are not all bad.

What?

I was just saying,

we are not all bad!

Oh. Yeah.

Actually, the rest of

them are, but not me.

I'm the best of them.

Okay. Thank you.

Anyway.

Thank you.

I didn't know

you played tennis.

Yeah, I played

a little in

high school.

I'm so glad we

were able to do this.

I'm really glad we

could do this, too.

It's nice we get to hang out.

I know, right?

Yeah.

It's too bad

Lillian couldn't play

with us today.

Poor thing, she is so busy.

Ohh. I know.

But she's not really

that into sports.

Even when we were little,

she didn't like anything

that was too competitive.

She certainly enjoys

playing tennis now.

It's funny how

people change, isn't it?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

Do people really change?

I think they do.

Yeah, but, I mean,

they still stay

who they are, pretty much.

I think we change

all the time.

I think we stay the same,

but grow,

I guess, a little bit.

I think if you are growing,

then you are changing.

But, I mean, we are changing

from who we are,

which we always stay as.

Not really,

I don't think so.

I think so.

I don't.

Annie! These are my kids.

Step-kids.

Step.

They are so hilarious.

Funny.

Excuse me,

my husband's kids.

What are

you guys up to?

Going to the snack bar.

Awesome. You need

a ride home later?

F*** off, Helen.

Okay. Put a quarter

in the swear-jar.

Good to see you.

They are so cute.

Sweet kids.

Carol!

Get your sh*t together, Carol!

Yes!

I've seen better

tennis playing in

a tampon commercial.

Umm...

I've been thinking, and...

Brynn needs to start

paying rent. That's it.

She's been here

long enough.

The three of us live here,

it's not fair for

me to be paying half.

We split it three ways.

What do you say?

Well, she can't work.

She's on a tourist visa.

Yeah. So, technically,

I'm only allowed to tour.

Well, you know...

I have no way

of earning money,

unless I just

go and prostitute

down on the street.

I don't want you

to do that, no.

"Hello, fellas.

Here I am."

Yeah, but we...

"Put your American sausage

"in my English McMuffin."

No, we did that.

All right.

Okay, I don't even know

what you're

talking about any more.

There's three

people living here.

Yeah.

If she doesn't

start paying...

I'm not.

...she has to leave.

Is this about

the diary again?

What diary?

Your diary proved

very interesting to read.

You read my...

You read my journal?

At first, I did not know

that it was your diary.

I thought it was

a very sad,

hand-written book.

What? That does not

make any...

But, because of

the deep personal details

and the bits that

mentioned Gil and Brynn...

No, no, no, no.

- Don't read my journal!

- And the crumbs.

Then...

Don't go in my room!

Well, hello! I think,

before you make

those sort of demands,

you need to,

maybe, think about

putting a note on

your door saying,

"Do not come into my room,

read my diary and

wear my clothes."

Wow, I've never been

to this part of town before.

Look, you can get

your checks cashed

next door.

I know it looks

a little scary

on the outside,

but the food

is really good,

authentic Brazilian.

I'm telling you,

this is where

Brazilians come to eat.

I got to say, Annie's

really good at this.

She always drags me

to the weirdest places

and the food is

always incredible.

And plus, you get

a lot for your money, too.

So that's good.

All right.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Whoa! Somebody

likes Brazilian food.

To my bridesmaids.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Cheers to Lil!

This is such a stone-cold

pack of weirdos,

and I'm so proud.

And I just want to toast

all of you ladies.

I'm so happy to

get to know you guys,

and happy to say

that I have four

new friends.

Absolutely. Cheers.

So, Annie,

do you have a date

for the wedding?

Um...

I don't... I don't think

I'm bringing anybody,

I guess.

Please, can I

set you up? Please?

Annie, you can't go

to the wedding alone.

Please?

If you go alone,

people might think

you're a prostitute.

Maybe.

I'm sorry.

I hope that you're all hungry

What would you like?

Yeah, I'll have

some of that, please.

I'll start with this.

I'd say yes.

Hello, chicken.

This is crazy

good, ya'll.

Helen, aren't you

eating any meat?

It's not good

to eat a big meal

before a fitting.

I feel a bit

bloated, so...

Not me.

No?

No. Physically,

I don't bloat.

Lucky.

That is lucky.

It's a gift.

I can't wait to be married

for as long as you've been

married.

And to have kids.

And be a mom.

Becca?

Yeah?

The other night,

I'm slaving away,

making a beautiful

dinner for my family.

My youngest boy

comes in and says

he wants to order a pizza.

I said, "No, we're not

ordering pizza tonight."

He goes,

"Mom, why don't you go

and f*** yourself?"

He's nine.

Okay, now that

Lillian's in the bathroom,

I just wanted to

talk to you guys about

the shower really quick.

I was thinking it

could be French-themed,

since she's always wanted

to go to Paris her whole life.

So I figured we

could bring Paris here

and have champagne

and little cookies.

They'd say "Lillian

and Dougie" on them.

We can dip them in

chocolate fondue,

and get cheese from

the nice part of the store.

I love that.

Good idea, Annie.

We can have

French invitations,

the whole thing.

Don't you think

that'd be nice?

That's adorable!

That's really cute.

Good. Great.

I don't know.

It's really cute.

But I feel like,

personally, the Paris theme's

a bit,

"Been there, done that."

I just feel

like we can top it.

We should throw

some ideas around.

See if anyone else

has a theme they had in mind

or something

they'd been thinking of.

What about

a Pixar-themed shower?

And we all come dressed

as our favorite

Pixar character.

That, and I'll just

snowball on top of that,

also Fight Club.

Female fight club.

We grease up,

we pull in.

Lillian doesn't know,

so it's, "Surprise!

We're going to fight!"

We beat the sh*t out of her.

She's not going

to forget that.

We just f***ing attack.

Can I be honest?

No.

I'm at home with

three boys all day,

every day.

What about

the bachelorette party?

That's what's more important.

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