Bringing Down the House Page #8

"Sister"?

Why don't you go back|to Sanderson,

and the "Jungle Fever" thing|the two of you got goin' on,

before I call the cops?

That's it, pretty boy.

You ever met the big hurt?

The who?

I wouldn't do that|if I were you!

And why not?

You'll be instantly returned|to prison, where you belong.

All right. That's it.

- How dare you!

To hell|with what I just said.

You obviously|one of them hard learners.

Howie?

This is my house! I will not|be told to do what I...

William.

I'm Kate Sanderson.|Have you seen my kids?

- Over there.|- Oh!

Hey!

Oh, God!

What is going on?

It's just the FBI, Mom.

Yeah, they're just doing|a, like, search.

For what?

Well, for Charlene.|But she's not...

The FBI is looking|for your nanny?

Man, take your hands off me!

I said, back off me, punk!

That's what I mean.|You know what I'm sayin'?

You don't want|none of this, now.

Excuse me...

Homeboys...

Say, yo.|You got a bathroom in there?

Say, yo, what's the dealio?

Mmm. Who's your daddy?

Back that booty up|and put it on the glass.

Anybody here|dig what I'm sayin'?

So...

your nanny was doing time...

for armed robbery.

And then she broke out|of prison...

...and then she came here.

But she's innocent...

and now your dad|has gone off to...

help her.

SARAH:
Sounds crazy, right?

He's not the same guy anymore.

Yeah, he's really cool.

Say, any of you homies|holdin' extra Jimmy High?

'Cause I'm all about crunchin'|some of that boofanny tonight.

If you harm one hair|on that dog's head...

Yeah, "Harm a hair on the head."|You got me all nervous.

- Hello?

- Sarah?|- Oh, hey, Charlene.

Put your daddy on the phone.

No, he's not here.|He went out to find you.

He went to find me?!

All right.

Howie, flip a "U."|We headed downtown.

Downtown's where I live,|precious.

- No! No!

What's on your mind, player?

What's with you? You been|drinkin' some "Hatorade"?

What's up, Flavor?|Where you from?

From the 'hood|and misunderstood.

- How's your pimp hand, dog?|- Strong, baby, strong.

Can you swerve, snowman?

Do I got "honky"|spray-painted on my forehead?

Of course I can.|I'm tryin' to peep a bowwow.

If you so at home, man,|then dance with the woman.

I can't. I got b'ness.

Go on out there|and get your groove on.

No, I can't. I got important|b'ness to take care of.

I tell you, but...

You'll get a life sentence|for this.

You're a kidnapper|and a whore!

Hey.|Keep talkin', tea bag.

Ooh?! Tea bag!

Yeah, you'll be gummin'|your bubbles.

Yeah, oh! Terrible.

Damn, boy, you lookin'|all kind of stupid.

Really?

'Cause I got this outfit|from your mama.

Yo, Eminem,|cut the wigger sh*t.

I don't think you know|how much trouble you in.

Fine, fine, fine.

I'm here to talk business...

private business.

What fresh air is this?

I don't see him anywhere.

I think he's in that back room|over there.

What do we do|with Her Majesty?

Sit down.

What?

Sit it on down.

Now, look, if you move,

your little Willy|gonna be bridged down.

- You dig?|- Dig.

All right. Come on.

Is that real?

Uh, Seven and Seven, double.

How you doin'?

What?!

I said, "How you doin'?"

Oh, fantastic.

You either the dumbest cracker|I ever met or you straight up...

Hold that thought.|I love this song.

Turn that off.

- Get everybody up out of here.

I'm telling you,|he is definitely in there.

Okay, all right,|so he's in there,

and then you go in,|and then what happens?

Three seconds.

- Why you here?

I got a feeling you're sitting|on a hefty sum of stolen cash.

You want to hide it,|you need a lawyer.

What's with the phone?

I'm calling in the cavalry.

You'll go back to prison.

So you wanna help me|launder my money?

I can hide it|in an untraceable account

in the Cayman Islands.

All I want is $100,000.

We both walk out of here|wealthier men.

And I tell you where|Charlene is... that simple.

You wearin' a wire?

Me?

No. Are you?

Then...|then they kidnapped me.

And they took my dog,|William.

That's a damn shame.

Oh, you don't care.

You smokin', Grandma?

Why not?

- To hell with your proposition.

Hold it. Charlene is ready|to roll over on you.

She knows|who your accomplice was.

- Oh, that's pretty funny.|- I'm not kidding.

They're out in the parking lot|waiting for my signal and...

and... and...|and the signal is...

if I don't come back,|they call the FBI.

There was no accomplice, fool.

There was a girl in the photo.

No, there was somebody|in a wig and a dress.

You...

You left her clothes,|the gun, and the money.

See?

You just too damn smart|for your own good.

Look, we can't wait no more.

Wait, wait. Charlene!

Open up.|Widow wanna see me.

Says who?

Says Lene.

Pete.

Well, ain't this|a psychic moment?

I was just comin' to see you.

Come on, Widow.|This is between me and you.

Let him go.

No problem.

Oh, sh*t.

What... come on, now.|What are you doin'?

Ugh!

I got it.

- Aim it, aim it, Howie!|- Yeah!

Uh-huh!|Who got the gun now, huh?

Who got that gun now?|Homie, that's right.

Get y'all asses|on the ground!

Asses on the ground|where I can see 'em, huh?

Take him out!

Ugh!

Pussies.

Ooh!

- Ugh!|- Ooh.

Ugh!

Wasn't that fun?

I'm just gonna roll up|on out of here.

Thank you.

- Aah!|- FBI!

Everybody, freeze!

Charlene! Charlene!|Oh, baby!

Oh, oh, baby.

Charlene.

Son of a...

Drop it!

Oh, Charlene.

What?

Damn, dog.

Hey, Howie, she's all right.

Charlene...

I...

Do me a favor, precious.

Don't ever scare me|like that again,

or I'm gonna have to give you|a nasty spanking,

if I'm not being too subtle.

He's such a damn freak.

Are you Sanderson?

Yeah.

Wait, wait.|She's innocent.

Save it.

I can prove it.

Mr. Sanderson...|that was pretty ballsy.

You'd make a hell of an agent.

Oh, thank you very much,|but I don't think I did anything

- an ordinary man wouldn't do...|- Thanks again.

Mr. Sanderson...

There you are.

You have behaved abonidably.

Aboni...

Abomidably.

- Abodi...|- Abominably.

I know.

- Shakespeare.|- Shakespeare.

No, wait.|This is serious.

And I'll have you dis...

disboweled.

Oh!

Uh, disballed.

Dis...

Disbarred?

Disbarred.

Oh, to hell with it.

I do believe I'm stoned.

Just don't tell anybody|you ever saw me like this.

Mrs. Arness...

William.

Oh, God,|you are an ugly dog...

and heavy.

Here, I got him.

Thank you.

Is there a 24-hour diner|around here?

I know where one is.|I'll take you there.

I'm dreadfully hungry.

You guys okay?

What do you think?

Yo, be cool, G-mo.

Yo, out back, G-mo.

Full cheesy, homey.

Well,|that's not good enough.

You'll just have to keep|trying, won't you?

I called Arness four times.|She'll only talk to Peter.

Well, we're just gonna|have to keep him around.

Oh, hey, guys.

Peter.

Did I mention|I'm going out on my own?

You don't have the resources.

Well, I have one|multibillion-dollar client.

It's a start.

And a partner.

I'm all over it, G.

Let's go.

Excuse me.

Peter,|we can talk about this.

Ed, you can|kiss my natural black ass.

Peter...

Ashley,|who are you doing here?

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