Broadway Danny Rose Page #2

The hypnotist brings up this

Jewish lady and hypnotises her.

Tessie! Tessie!

- The body is warm. It's a good sign.

- Yes, that's a good sign.

Tessie! Tessie!

I promise you, if your wife

never wakes up again...

...I will take you to

any restaurant of your choice, OK?

Do you like Chinese food?

All right, you finished? Excuse me.

Hold it, hold it. Are you finished?

Are you finished? Because I have

the greatest Danny Rose story.

Hold it now. Are you finished?

I have the greatest

Danny Rose story, all right?

You wanna do anything?

This is gonna take some time.

- Can I call home?

- Go ahead.

- Coffee.

- Are you ready?

We're gonna be here a while.

This is the greatest Danny Rose story.

- This is the one with Lou Canova.

- The tall guy, the singer? The Italian kid?

He was the kid that had

those semi-hit records?

He had a record, I think, called "Agita".

It was on the charts for about 15 minutes.

This is not during those 15 minutes.

This is 25 years later.

And Lou cannot get anybody

to handle him. The man's in trouble.

And the only one who

believes in him is Danny Rose.

And by now, you gotta remember,

Lou is a has-been...

...he's got a big ego, a temperament

and a slight drinking problem...

...and Danny has faith.

# I like the looks of you

# The lure of you

# The sweet of you

# The pure of you

# The eyes

# The nose

# The mouth of you

# The east, west, north

and the south of you

# I'd like to gain

# Complete control of you

# And handle

# Even the heart and soul of you

# So love at least

a small percent of me, do

# I do, I do, I do, I do

# Cos I love all of you

# I do, I do, I do, I do

# I do, yeah

A third show?

I thought there was only two.

There's three on weekdays

and there's four on weekends.

Four?! Tell 'em I'll walk! Four shows!

What do you mean? You can't.

Lou, we're not in a position yet to walk.

- And I use the word "yet".

- My hair's all screwed up.

Your hair is fine. Did you do the three S's?

Yeah. Strong, smile, star. I know.

Every time, you tell me every time.

You should do "My Funny Valentine"...

...after great crooners from the past

who are deceased.

- Hi, Lou. I wanted to meet you.

- But I'm discouraged. I'm down.

Please. God bless you, darling.

Why are you discouraged?

You're magnificent.

I can't pay my alimony.

I'll waive my commissions

till we get rolling, that's all.

- How you gonna live? You gotta eat.

- Don't worry about me so much.

I got other acts. I think about you

in the long run, that's what I'm saying.

You're the kinda guy that will always

make a beautiful dollar in this business.

You're what I call a perennial.

You get better-looking as you get older.

That's true. When I'm singin', I can feel

the women mentally undressing me.

It's true.

OK, so Danny is everything to Lou.

He picks his songs, his arrangements.

He picks his shirts, his clothes.

He eats with him. They're inseparable.

Danny is his manager, his friend,

his father-confessor.

I wanna go across the street

and get one white rose.

You wanna get a white rose?

Why do you want a white rose?

- I met this chick.

- Oh, Lou. Don't tell me about it...

...because you're gonna

get caught in a hotel room...

...you're gonna wind up

paying three alimonies.

- No, no, no. This is a classy chick.

- I can imagine.

- She's one of these decorators.

- With all due respect, you got a wife.

- This is different. I'm in love.

- Oh, great.

The usual single white rose

for Tina Vitale.

And just the words

"I love you, my bambina."

Come here a minute. Lou, come here.

Just step into my office for a minute.

The usual single white rose?

How long has this been going on?

- For a while. I can keep a secret.

- You're keeping a secret from me?

I knew you'd get miffed about it,

you'd get bugged because of my wife.

But, Danny, Tina, she's beautiful.

- She's like a Madonna.

- I believe you.

- She knows you're married?

- I levelled with her.

So what kinda woman is she?

I tried to introduce you to her for a

long time, but I knew you wouldn't have it.

I've always tried to teach you, Lou...

...that sooner or later you're gonna

have to square yourself with the big guy.

Is that true? You're gonna

pay your dues someday.

You're a married man. Take my aunt

Rose, not a beautiful woman at all.

She looked like something

you buy in a live-bait store.

She had wisdom. She used to say "You

can't ride two horses with one behind."

So you see what I'm sayin'?

That's my point.

OK, now a little time passes.

Danny's still struggling with the various

bird acts and the blind xylophone player.

Suddenly the nostalgia craze

is starting to build.

And Danny finds

he can book Lou a little easier.

# You may be king

# You may possess the worid

# And all of its gold

# Oh, but gold won't bring you happiness

# When you're growing old

# Oh, the worid, it's still the same...

He's working these nostalgia cruises

and the audience is eating it up.

Suddenly an over-the-hill boy singer

is starting to get some attention.

# They shine high above...

And I am very honoured to announce that

one of America's great singing legends...

... a cherished musical legend,

is making part of his comeback...

... on the Joe Franklin TV Show.

I hope my enthusiasm is generating,

cos I love this man.

I mean, if you can love a man,

I love Lou Canova. Lou.

- Thank you, Joe. You're very kind.

- I mean that. Are you sort of...

I've been on the show three, four times

and it just helps.

I mean, it helps everybody.

You're New York. What can I tell ya?

I always had the feeling that you were

never obsessed to be a superstar.

You were never driven to be a superstar.

You just let it drift

and take its own course.

When I had a record out in the '50s,

it made some noise and everything...

... and you start to get to feel as though

maybe you wanna be a bigger star.

It didn't really bother me. But now I'm

doin' cruise ships, I'm doin' bigger shows.

I feel great. It's a good time in life to do it.

OK. Now, two days later, Danny

runs into Milton Berle on Broadway.

Milton is doing an NBC special,

a nostalgia show.

Plus he needs a singing act

to open for him at Caesar's Palace.

Danny convinces him to come and

see Lou on a club date at the Waldorf.

And if Milton likes Lou,

he gets the TV shot and Caesar's.

I mean, I love Milton. He's a beautiful man.

- This is two years out of our guts.

- Don't be so nervous, Lou.

You gotta take him out Sunday and let

him relax. He's gonna be all wound up.

I'll open with "Volare"

or "You Make Me Feel So Young".

- How are you, darling?

- Good.

- How old are you?

- 12.

- Are you married?

- No.

Fantastic fettucine.

Do "My Funny Valentine" with

the special lyrics about the moon landing.

Maybe we oughta put on

a press agent for that week.

I've been gettin' your name

in the columns pretty good.

It's not like havin' a steady press agent.

You know, steady.

Take him to a movie

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