Broadway Danny Rose Page #4

but the man adored them.

Like you probably feel about

your whatever, your guppies.

These are wonderful people, of your

persuasin. Lou is of your persuasin.

- Lou's a liar.

- He loves you like a mother.

- Excuse me. Come on in.

- That crap about his bad marriage.

The man loves her like a mother.

He adores her.

- I have a lover who I think is unfaithful.

- Angelina, might I interject one concept?

He is unfaithful. And yet he cares for you.

See? He cares for you.

God bless you, God bless you.

- Don't go to him.

- I won't.

- Time out.

- See friends.

Resolve all situations, even if it means

travelling long distances.

- But be careful.

- Where you going? Tina!

Lou, we're into a definite

type of situation here.

No. Definitely, Lou. Lou, definitely.

We're... Lou, we're into

a complete type of situation.

This is a complete

definite type of situation.

Why's she so mad at me? What did I do?

Won't she even speak to me?

- I need a drink.

- Lou, Lou, don't get the jitters.

You get nervous, your performance

goes right into the toilet.

You start drinking...

Lou, I'll get her there, I promise.

Just let me work out the logistics.

Tina! Tina!

Tina!

And now it's the big day

and things are starting to go wrong.

- Lou is boozing a bit.

- I remember him with the Cutty Sark.

- Now, she splits. She splits.

- The girlfriend?

And Danny follows.

She drives and she drives

way the hell out somewhere.

Danny's right on her heels,

but you know how Danny drives.

She winds up an hour later

God knows where.

She's taking Angelina

the fortune-teller's advice.

She's winding up some business

with old friends.

- Tina, we didn't think you were coming.

- Hi, guys. You look handsome!

Yeah, well, I had a change in plans.

Great. OK, the party can begin.

- Can we help you, sir?

- I'm with Tina. I'm a friend of Tina's.

God bless you. Stay where you are.

You're doing an aces job.

I'll check back with you on my way out.

- I'll leave something nice for you.

- All right.

- Who are you?

- I'm here with Tina.

- I'm her uncle. Rocco.

- Danny Rose.

- What do you do?

- Theatrical management.

- What are you lookin' for?

- Tina.

Relax. You gotta be

around her every second?

- What do you do, Rocco?

- Cement.

- Cement?

- I own a fleet of cement mixers.

No kidding? Isn't that

a very big organised cr...? Cement.

That's fantastic. You always need cement.

That's what's great about cement.

- It's not like tape recorders...

- Annie, this is Tina's new boyfriend.

Hello. How long you been

going out with my niece?

- No, we don't go out. We're just friends.

- Yeah. I know Tina.

- Vinnie! Danny's in show business.

- I'm just a friend.

- He's a manager.

- You know Jackie Whalen?

- Yeah, he's a comedian. He's very funny.

- I don't think he's funny. I think he's dirty.

Today everything is, with

the pornography, all the four-letter words.

- It's all filthy.

- I saw this guy in Atlantic City.

He had a cigar box.

And he cuts a hole in it.

Then he goes backstage, he opens up

his fly and he sticks his thing in it.

Then he goes outside, down to ringside to

some old lady's table, opens up the box.

- That's humour?

- They call me old-fashioned...

...but if it's old-fashioned to like Mr Danny

Kaye, Mr Bob Hope, Mr Milton Berle...

...then all right, then I'm old-fashioned.

- Tina, can't we discuss it?

- No, we discussed it a hundred times.

- Then why did you come here today?

- I don't know.

- I guess I shouldn't have.

- Tina, I love you.

- No. No, it's over.

- If I thought that, I'd kill myself.

- Johnny, don't talk like that.

- And you know I'd do it, too.

- You're too emotional.

- I wrote you a poem.

I shouldn't have come.

I'm too mixed up myself.

- It's about our month in Sicily.

- Can't you forget it?

We strolled on cliffs of stone

Like Greeks of ancient times.

Your hair blew this way and that

Mixed with bits of sand.

Our eyes met

And then looked out toward the sea

- The blue Aegean.

- Tina...

- We laughed and...

- What are you doin' here?

- I know what you're thinking. Pushy?

- I'm readin' a poem.

I'm sorry. I came to get you.

I wanna know what you're doing here.

- I want you to come with me.

- Who are you?

Danny Rose, theatrical management.

Might I get five minutes with the lady?

Listen, you know I'm dying to come to

the Waldorf. But I've been hurt, that's all.

So this is who's been sending you the

single white rose every day? Danny Rose.

How do you know about the white roses?

Believe me, I know more about you

than you think I know.

- Might I interject...?

- You know because you spy on me.

It's not spying when you care about

someone, what's happening to them.

Yeah, you check my mailbox in my

apartment when I'm not there. Admit it.

So you prefer him with his white roses

to me and all we were to each other?

I prefer someone that has

respect for me and doesn't spy!

Are you going with him?

Tina, can I get one...? Tina.

- What are you doing with money?

- Are you a big shot, tearing your money?

I been tearing money

since my first Holy Communion.

See this? 10 dollars. I don't care.

- Here. What does it mean?

- 20, 20.

20? 20, 40, 60 dollars.

What does it mean, you know?

It means nothin'.

Mere fascination, that's all it is.

Yeah, I wanna see Lou,

but he treats me lousy.

Well, Lou's crazy about you.

I'm telling you.

Tonight's a big shot for him, really.

Lou's not a kid.

He's trying to make a comeback.

When he sings "That's Amore",

that for me is the end.

Isn't it unbelievable what he does

with that song? Isn't that fantastic?

I'm gonna hit you with one word. I'm

gonna say just one word. Sorrento. OK?

Sorrento. Am I lying?

I like it when he takes the microphone off

the stand and starts to sort of throw it.

- That's my gesture. I gave him that.

- No. I saw him years ago.

- He took the microphone off.

- But he didn't throw it from hand to hand.

I gave him that touch. I used to do that.

So you taught him to throw

the microphone from hand to hand.

I taught him everything.

I gave him his gestures...

...I handle his budget,

I pick his clothes, his songs.

And you manage his love life.

My father - may he rest in peace - said

"In business, friendly but not familiar."

But what am I gonna do? This is personal

management. It's a key word. Personal.

So, you know, I gotta get involved.

Like Herbie Jayson, my bird act.

A cat ate the lead bird. So I gotta leap

right into the breach, you know.

Or my Puerto Rican ventriloquist.

He's got everything you need

to make it big, but he's a dope addict.

- So I gotta get in there and help.

- What can I say?

Now that I see you,

I'm the wrong guy to be the beard.

Who'd believe that

such a beautiful girl would date me?

- Come on.

- No, I'm telling the truth.

- My hand to God.

- I'm not beautiful.

I see a lot of singers and actresses.

You are.

- Well, you're not so terrible.

- Yeah. I know one thing, honey.

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