Broken Hearts Club Page #14
- R
- Year:
- 2000
- 94 min
- 811 Views
Big f***in' deal.
And it completely plays into|the whole gay stereotype.
Again, big f***ing deal.
And your tits are always crooked.
- No sh*t? Nobody ever told me that.|- Well, they are.
Here, come here.
I've never felt a man up before.
There. That's--
Okay. Zip me up, would you?
Oh, okay. All right.
Everybody can't be the same,|Patrick.
Everybody can't be straight.
Everybody can't be beautiful.
Some people|are just gay and average.
We're the strongest, I think.
Hello, boys! Hello.
I'm sorry. I know we were supposed|to start two hours ago.
But you know what they say?|Better latent than never.
So to start with,|I'd like to do a little number...
from my first platinum album...
Color MeJack.
Hit it, honey.
Yes, do, let's join the ladies
And make one great big lady
You sure you don't want|to come in?
I do. I'm just not ready|for it all yet.
- I have the same number as Cole.|- Don't worry.
I'll call.
Okay.
Good night.
Bye.
Just checking a page.|I'm betting it's the fireman.
Which, incidentally,|would be record time.
Yeah, but I just wanted|to apologize for earlier.
- About Kevin.|- Oh, hey, no problem.
Holy sh*t. Holy sh*t.
- What is it?|- No way. It's my agent.
What's he saying?
I got the part.|I got the part in the movie.
- You're kidding me.|- Oh, my God.
I leave in a week|to shoot for a month in Phoenix.
Holy sh*t. I got the part|in Kip Rogers' movie.
- I'll be in a movie with Kip Rogers.|- This is incredible.
No kidding.
- It's a small part, but,Jesus Christ--|- I heard Kip Rogers was gay.
He's not gay. He's married.
I gotta tell the other guys.|They're gonna freak.
Hey, listen. Tell the other hags|I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow.
Where are you going?
To my sister's.
To see if it's not too late to change|my mind about this whole baby thing.
- What happened?|- Nothing.
Nothing ever happens.|That's the whole point.
You scared the sh*t out of me.|What are you doing here?
I think that it's great|that you're dating again.
Yeah, it is.
And it's not that I'm giving you|my approval, but I am approving.
- I'm going inside now.|- Wait. Come on.
Let me just come inside,|just for a minute.
Until you get off?
- That is not true.|- No, no.
You'll be kind enough|to share your latest theory...
on why Snagglepuss was the first|openly gay cartoon character.
You know, if memory serves, it's|your post-coital hashish bonfires...
- that sent me running.|- That is such a convenient argument.
My pot smoking is the source|of all our problems?
God forbid it was symptomatic|of our f***ed-up relationship.
I'm the one that studies|relationships for a living.
- Ours was quite normal.|- Normal?
When did you once express any physical|affection outside of the bedroom?
Do you know Brian actually|held my hand in public tonight?
Do you know what that's like to be with|someone who's not terrified to do that?
You know, I congratulate Mr. Gorgeous|on his issue-less existence.
So that's what this is about.
Brian's better-looking than you,|so I matter again.
But if he was ugly, you wouldn't|be here right now? Am I right?
Thanks for not answering that.
You know, Howie,|I didn't ask for much from you...
but it would be nice if your attraction|to me had something to do with me.
My ex is dating a print model.
A blond, goy print model named Brian.
Could that possibly hit|on more of my issues?
He could have a big penis.
Which one of you hags|suggested level eight? I'm dying.
- Let's bring it down to seven.|- Six, and I pick up lunch.
It's a deal.|Maybe he just wants to win you back.
That's not Marshall's m.o. Unlike me,|he doesn't have a vengeful bone in him.
- Meanwhile--|- You have the oddest taste.
- Sue me.|- I don't understand.
For months you've been guilty|that you ended the relationship.
- He's moved on and you sound worse.|- Because my guilt I can control.
It's my guilt.|Jealousy is completely out of my hands.
I'm with Dennis. How can you be jealous|about something that you gave up on?
I don't know.|I just know that it's over...
and you won't catch me going through|any mourning cycle.
Speaking of which, I haven't seen|Princess Taylor all week.
He's been curled up on my couch,|watching old Joan Crawford movies.
When I ask him what's wrong, he gives me|this sinister look and mutters...
- " Phase five, phase five."|- The revenge phase.
If I were you, I'd remove|all sharp objects from the house.
Is that what they're teaching you|in school these days, young Sigmund?
Guys, is that the girl|from "Young and the Restless?"
I'm so over "Y&R."
You're excited for him to call,|but you don't want to sleep with him?
Even if I wanted to sleep with him,|I wouldn't.
- So you do want to sleep with him.|- Why is it always about that?
Don't you see|what happens to us?
We come out of the closet, we get our|hearts stepped on like a Twister game...
and we become more bitter|than we were in the closet.
The only thing keeping us from complete|despair are the friendships we develop.
I just want him to see that|before it's too late.
Before he becomes jaded,|like us.
Interesting. What you're trying to do|is save yourself by saving Kevin.
- It's classic projection.|- You haven't answered my question.
- No, I don't want to sleep with him.|- Bullshit.
- Benji's talking to Idaho guy.|- Who's that?
Idaho Guy|is Benji's newest crush.
He's been strategically working out|near him for weeks...
in hopes|that Idaho Guy would notice.
Why do you call him|Idaho Guy?
I don't know. He just kind|of looks like he's from Idaho.
It's not really one|of our better ones.
I'm freaking out.
I was in the middle of my squats and he|comes over and just gives me these tips.
Is that like fate or what?|Maybe I should get his number.
No way, little Benjamin. Gym bunnies|make a bad name for all of us.
Their lives revolve around sex|and protein shakes.
And cat tranquilizers.
If you intend on experiencing the joys|of a bitter, codependent relationship...
it won't be|with a gym bunny.
I don't care.|I'm going back over there.
Hi. I turned around and you were gone.|I wanted to give you this.
It's my number.
Give me a call if you want.
Yeah, definitely.
That'll be cool.
It's no improvement.
I didn't pack a jacket.
I hope Phoenix|doesn't get cold at night.
Should we call a doctor?
He'll be all right. Just as long|as he doesn't start boiling any rabbits.
You know what?|I almost forgot to tell you.
That Kevin kid called|while you were at the gym.
- He did?|- He said to call him back.
Sounded kind of cold, though.|I hope he doesn't still hate me.
They never still hate you.
It's funny, isn't it?|I'd hate me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,|I'd hate you too.
- Good luck.|- Thank you very much.
- "What is taking him so long?"|- I don't know.
It'll just be another minute more.|I had to make a phone call.
A phone call?|I knew he was gonna pull some sh*t.
- Patrick, what happened?|- I couldn't do it.
- I need material.|- They don't have material?
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"Broken Hearts Club" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/broken_hearts_club_4724>.
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