Broken Hearts Club Page #16

You're a muscle boy's plaything|for a couple of weeks.

That hardly constitutes|a relationship.

That is more than you've ever had,|you ugly f***.

His friends...

they're not like us.

When they go out,|when they're together, they're happy.

We're always so miserable.

We make each other miserable.

Why?

Is it such a bad thing|to be happy?

It is if you have to pay|30 bucks a tab for it, yeah.

- What did I miss?|- You don't even wanna know.

Just spoke to Purple Guy.|He said he'll meet us at the bar.

I can't go. I'm supposed to have dinner|with some people from the film.

- Maybe I'll catch up after.|- Yeah.

I'm not gonna go either.|I'm gonna go home.

I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.

You should go with them.

I thought maybe we could talk|about the other night.

- We haven't really discussed--|- Now's not a good time.

- Could you tell me when is?|- I don't know. But not here, not now.

You've barely even looked at me|since the other night.

You've spent all week hiding|behind this funeral.

Hiding? Is that what|you think I've been doing?

Can you even imagine|whatJack meant to me? To us?

No, you can't.|You can't know.

So don't tell me|I've been hiding.

All we did was hook up.|It's not that big a deal.

We can talk about it later.

You're right.|It's not a big deal.

All we did was hook up.

Yeah, this is he.

What?

Jesus!

Benji Waters?

I just got the page.|How is he?

They pumped his stomach.|We're waiting for him to wake up.

- Can I see him?|- Only one person at a time can go in.

- Patrick's in there right now.|- How did this happen?

- How the f*** could this happen?|- Isn't it obvious?

We weren't there.

Did you two come together?|I think that's cute.

What is his problem?

Him and Kevin slept together|last week.

You, Senor Disheveled, obviously came|from sleeping with Kevin yourself.

- Are the clouds lifting?|- You guys, I didn't know.

I've been away all month.|Why didn't you tell me something?

- You could help me out.|- It was a secret.

Terrific.

The one time you bastards actually keep|a secret is the one time it matters.

Now I feel like sh*t.

I think that's|a scientific impossibility.

- I'm sorry.|- It's all right. Don't be.

I slept with Cole|to get back at you.

You did exactly what you're supposed to|when you're 23 and just out the closet.

And you did it|because I was an a**hole.

It doesn't matter.|I was wrong.

No, Kevin. I was wrong.

When I slept with you, I knew it|couldn't lead to a relationship.

And if there was anything I've been|trying to change lately about myself...

well, that would be it.

So what,|you're not attracted to me?

Or course I am. I've been crazy about|you ever since you lit the damn candles.

- You were the wish.|- So what's the problem?

The problem is|that I'm not ready for it.

I thought that...

all a relationship would take|was meeting the right person...

but it's so much more than that.

Like what?

Like the fact that I'm 28 years old and|the only thing I'm good at is being gay.

- That's not true.|- It is true.

And I'm okay with it.

I didn't get to be gay for 25 years.|I figured I got some catching up to do.

But I need to move on.

I need to make my life|into something else...

instead of just my friends|and the parties.

That's the only way I'll have something|to give back to someone.

Do you see that?

Tell me you see that.

Can't you move on|with someone there?

Not if that someone|has a lot of catching up to do.

Hey, guys.

Hey, hag.

Why'd you go and do|a thing like that for?

I'm sorry, guys.

- I'm sorry, Patrick.|- Hey, I'm sorry too.

I am so Demi Moore|in "St. Elmo's" right now.

You can be Demi Moore.|Just as long as I'm not Ally Sheedy.

- I get to be Mare Winningham.|- Nobody's gonna fight you on that one.

- Which one do I get to be?|- Rob Lowe.

'Cause you're just|so damn cute.

You can't help yourself.

Marshall, I don't care|if you're not alone.

Marshall, open up.

What the hell are you doing?

This.

- All right, that's it, a**hole.|- Brian. Please, get inside.

You told me once that you|were waiting for me to wake up.

You didn't wait long enough.

I've never been more awake|than I am right now.

And I admit it. I f***ed up.|No matter who you were...

there would've been something wrong|with you and someone better out there.

And I wish|that I could change that.

I wish I could take back all the times|that I didn't appreciate having you.

But I'll tell you right now...

I loved you.

I still love you.|And it has nothing to do with me.

It has nothing to do|with how good-looking he is.

It has to do with you.

Because you are sweet,|you're endearing and...

uncomplicated.

And you're so beautiful.

I hope that you're happy together.|I hope that this...

works out and that he is|everything that you need...

because you deserve it.

But if he's not and it ends,|I'll be there.

It's my turn to wait,|and I'm going to wait long enough.

- "You really don't need to be here."|- "Okay, I'm here..."

because Anne had a showing|and she asked me to be here...

and because the baby book|said this is an emotional event.

And no matter how tough you think|you are, you might need somebody.

- Is this ready yet?|- No. It takes a second to come through.

Why don't you just sit down|and let the man do his job?

- Why don't you bite me?|- Why don't you suck my left tit?

- If I sucked tits--|- Excuse me.

It's ready now.

That's the baby.

Miss Thing, where have you been? I have|a full restaurant. I'm a waiter short.

I was at the closing on my house.|I'm sorry.

Sorry don't feed the bulldog, sugar.|Get your apron on.

Question. How much does Purple Guy|pay you to be such a b*tch?

It's your last night, hag. So you don't|have to worry about that now, do you?

Surprise!

I had forgotten Dennis|knew this many meanwhiles.

I know. They're from|all of his house parties.

So, did Leslie tell you?|We saw the baby.

Oh, that is so cool.|So is it a Patricia or a Patrick,Jr.?

It's a Jack.

I'm an actor.|I just shot this film with Kip Rogers.

Kip Rogers. Wow.

I hear he's gay.

No, he's not gay.|He's married.

Okay, so check this sh*t out.

Paul called me.

He said he wants to talk. He said|he misses me, but just as a friend.

This is a good thing.|It allows you the perfect opportunity...

for the final phase|of all relationships: reconciliation.

Try closure.|I told that b*tch to f*** off.

Sorry I'm late.|I got stuck in traffic on the 405.

I told you not to take the freeways.|L.A. is all about the side streets.

It's for Europe.|It's a carrying case for your camera.

Look, got your initials on it.

I saw that guy you came with.|He's cute.

Whatever. We met at a club|a few weeks ago.

- You know how it is.|- Oh, yeah, I do.

I'll be back.

I'll be here.

- Okay, hag, you ready for your gift?|- Excuse us.

- You didn't have to get me a gift.|- We didn't get you anything. You did.

- It was nothing, really.|- Gentlemen and very few ladies...

I am pleased to present...

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