Bros Before Hos Page #2

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but...

Your number would be easier.

- Right. Hand me your phone.

What's your name, by the way?

- Anna.

I'm Max.

I got her number, b*tch.

Sorry. I'll be done in a minute.

- That's OK.

Jesus. Sorry. Are you OK?

- Sure.

Max.

- What are you doing here?

What the f*** are you doing?

106...

I was checking out the carpet.

It's quite worn out, guys.

We should put some money together.

But you two?

- Yeah, sorry.

Anna. Max, my brother.

We know each other.

- What?

Did you two ever?

Yes.

Kidding, sweetie.

I got her number yesterday.

- What the f***?

For a couple of DVDs she got, but still...

- Too late, b*tch.

Where did you meet her?

- Right here.

That b*tch was looking for rice cakes,

or something.

That chick is f***ing horny, man.

Really f***ing horny.

Unbelievable. Every time.

Every time?

- A couple of times.

I know what you're thinking, but

don't worry. Everything's under control.

I'm actually done with her.

Niggah what!

Yo, motherfucking niggah

whaddup?

Hey, Max.

Hey.

Dude, what are you doing?

I thought you were done with her.

True, but I want to f*** her

one more time. Just once.

Get a Golden Retriever and a mini van

while you're at it.

What are you talking about?

Come on.

It's not a relationship.

Farewell sex. That's it.

Bam.

What are you doing?

I barely know you.

Seriously.

Are we doing something tonight

or are you and her?

Well, I... Oh sh*t, man.

I have to...

Be right back.

Where's he going?

- Something at the supermarket. Dunno.

Sorry.

A chunk came up.

That's easy. First Blood.

- What? Seriously?

Rambo Part I,

is my favorite movie too.

What? No way.

- Best film ever.

So f***ing bad.

He just wanted something to eat.

- They drew first blood, not me.

Are you telling me

that 200 of our men against your boy...

...is a no-win situation for us?

You send that many,

don't forget one thing.

A good supply of body bags.

Look, I'm not really anti-relationships

or something, but...

...I'd never really want one myself.

It always ends in trouble.

I hate that claiming stuff.

You know. They always want to hold you

and touch you and sh*t.

Just give me space.

Most chicks are either annoying...

...or not that hot.

It's true.

Sorry.

What's keeping Jules?

He's been gone for a long time.

No idea.

I'm going up. Lie in his bed.

- Yeah, me too.

Not in his bed, of course,

but...

...in my own bed where I also...

So...

Good ni...

Sorry.

Anna, what is this?

Porn, Mieke.

It's the only thing that calms him down.

- Don't treat me like a fool.

You know the rules.

- So what should I do?

He loses it all the time.

- So give them sex movies and ideas?

What if they get babies?

- When did you take those from him?

Two days ago,

but this is hardly the time...

No, no, no!

No, no!

Go to sleep.

Can someone give me a hand?

Jordy, don't!

No!

F***!

Bart, you're not attending staff.

Let go of Jordy!

Hi.

- Hi.

Everything OK?

- Not really.

How come?

Jordy can't watch porn.

They'd rather put him in isolation.

F***ed up.

- Yeah.

He's so sweet,

but he transforms completely.

Empty the register, motherf***er.

- What the f*** are you doing?

Empty the register!

What? Is this it? Is this it?

- Calm down, man.

Jesus, what the f*** were you doing?

- Saving your life.

Oh, right. Thank you.

Rambo sh*t.

It was small, like a Nazi gun.

A Luger.

What happened?

- Your store was robbed, man.

By a junkie.

- Goddammit.

For how much?

- There was hardly anything in the register.

How much?

- I don't know.

Three hundred or something.

- Goddammit.

I think those Chinese have the money.

- Pardon?

Over there.

I don't know what goes on in there.

Shady, depressed characters enter

and walk out happy.

We've been watching them for a while,

but no proof yet.

But a lot of money

flows into that place.

I wonder how Anna's doing.

- Doing well, I heard.

Her arm's almost healed.

- How do you know?

Jules told me. Just talked to him.

He's hanging out with her.

That's why he couldn't make it.

He told me he wasn't doing anything,

because he has to get up early. F***.

He's having a relationship

with that Anna.

I smoked up with her all of last night

on the balcony.

She really is a relaxed chick.

And f***ing hot.

- Sounds like you like her.

No man, but Jules should just stick

to the pact.

Ah, f*** it.

I'm whining. It's Jules.

Jules.

That sh*t will pass.

Yeah b*tch, it'll pass.

I recognize the wrapping paper.

So I think I know...

Look at that. Looks exactly like Misty.

Whaddup, b*tches.

- Hos.

Thirty.

Menopause.

- Westside.

Happy birthday.

- Yeah, happy birthday, dude.

Good outfit, man. F*ggot.

Why are Dumb and Dumber here?

I thought you'd like it as well,

since you know them.

Higher.

I'm warning you:

If those two ruin my evening...

...you sleep on the couch for two weeks.

- What?

Make some Long Island Iced Teas,

f*ggot. And have one yourself.

No, we all know what happens

when Ren drinks.

Right, sweetie pie?

Did you know that his chick

broke up with him today?

Really?

- And on our birthday, of all things.

Your birthday?

hold me tight

gently put my head

on your shoulder

Need to take a leak.

- Sit down, OK?

My mother was suddenly

in front of me.

She stared at me for a long time.

Very weird.

And then I woke up.

Hey, man.

Oh, who's back?

- Yeah, b*tch.

Bye.

How about tomorrow we?

- No way.

Where's my coat?

Ladies, thanks for your stupid party.

Why are you so quiet?

- I'm not really a morning person.

Are you a Leo? I'm a Libra.

We're a perfect match.

Whaddup?

Everything all right?

- We had a great time.

Sadly, Charlotte has to leave.

- My name is Eefje.

That's what I said.

Anyway, I have to leave.

I have to pick up Noah.

Who?

- Noah, my son. I told you, silly.

Ah, look at him.

Well, he's not going to be a model,

is he?

OK, go and pick up Noah.

Bye. I had fun.

Bye, Charlotte.

Where's the towel?

See that pile of towels?

There's one in the middle.

- Got it.

Dude, I thought you were back.

Hey, Max.

Nice evening last night, right?

Put it in at the bottom.

- That's what your mom said last night.

My mother is dead.

Thanks.

Sorry.

You have to eat Jenna Jameson p*ssy

after she's been raped...

...and left for dead in broken glass

by three seropositive Zimbabwaneans.

Or you have to French-kiss

Ron Brandsteder for 20 minutes...

...after he's performed oral sex on a turd.

And you have to choose.

What would you do?

- Dude, I don't know.

I'm seriously considering

kissing Ron Brandsteder.

But... a problem.

I was just talking to Anna...

- Such fun.

Discussing names for your future kids?

No, gay.

She mentioned a Jordy.

Some sort of retard.

- Rainman. Autistic.

Yeah, whatever.

He just beat the f***ing crap

out of someone.

Real Badr Hari sh*t.

- So?

Apparently she needs porn for that.

- And?

Can you bring her some.

- You do it.

I promised I'd drop by,

but I really can't leave now.

Dude, cut the crap.

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