Bros Before Hos Page #3

Year:
2013
587 Views


You were going to dump her.

Why does she keep coming back?

And why do I have to play the whiner?

Relationship, b*tch.

Those cupcakes?

Did you check the stockroom?

Package for Anna.

Leave it with me.

- I have to give it to her personally.

Is that right?

Show me your visitor's badge.

Visitor's badge?

- Yes, visitor's badge.

A visitor's badge.

- A visitor's badge, yes.

Without one you can't go in.

Well, then can I please

get a visitor's badge.

Certainly.

You have to request one in writing.

F***, dude, I just have to

give this package to Anna.

What are you going to do about it?

- What about you?

Shine a light in my eyes?

You don't even have a gun.

I thought Jules...

Bart, Max is helping me with something.

- That's fine.

I really have to go soon, you know.

Jordy grabbed Jeffrey's hair

and dragged him through the room.

When we tried to calm him down

he bit off a piece of Jeffrey's ear.

And swallowed it.

Eventually, they put him in the time-out.

Intense.

No!

Look.

Nice, huh?

Why's he wearing a bear suit?

- We're working on a play.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

It's a big deal around here.

Each year we enter the national

contest for the mentally disabled.

Plays and stuff.

They think it's awesome.

So do I.

We've been rehearsing all year.

- OK.

Anna...

Make sure Rico is on time

for occupational therapy.

I'm taking him there in a minute.

What was that?

- It's Jordy.

He's singing.

Metallica.

OK, don't forget Rico.

- I'll take care of it.

I have to come up with something

to replace that porn.

Are you OK?

Max?

Whaddup b*tch? Niggah.

I can't do this anymore.

What?

- What?

What did you say?

- Every time I see her, it goes wrong.

I shouldn't see her anymore.

Just ignore her.

- Ignore? Good idea.

My parents did that with me.

Do you happen to have

Ass Eaters Unanimous 19?

With Sasha Grey.

Where she stink-fingers that guy's ass.

He likes it a lot.

Whaddup b*tch?

- Hi.

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

Goddammit.

There's a bunch of movies missing,

dammit.

One moment, please.

Which movies?

- Here.

Nazi Sluts, Raping Midgets II,

Stink...

That whole bunch.

Haven't you seen them?

No.

- Jesus Christ, someone reserved them.

He's picking them up soon, goddammit.

- Who the f*** reserves porn?

I don't give a sh*t. Just find them.

Money is money. Goddammit.

One moment.

F***ing hell.

Anna speaking.

- Good afternoon, this is Videocorner.

I see that you still have

a number of our videos.

What?

- It concerns...

Nazi Sluts, Raping Midgets II,

Stinky Fingers, HI V Spreaders...

...Ass to Ass, Rimming Racists,

Dogs on Negro Hos Illl...

...Poop Shooters Vll,

This Whore Sees a Doctor...

...Drunk Anal Squirters II,

Raw Dawgz, Scissoring Grannies...

...There's a Black Man in My Wife's Ass,

Schindler's Fist...

...and Two In the Pink

and a Group of Boyscouts in the Stink.

Jeffrey? Yuck, that's dirty.

Give them to me.

Licorice.

- It's not.

Licorice.

- Look at me. It's not licorice. Come on.

Very good.

Can you return them as soon as possible?

They have been reserved.

Max?

- Today, please, if that's possible.

We're having an outside day

and we're going...

Fine, thank you.

See you soon.

The movies!

- Just leave them there, OK?

Max?

- Thank you.

I can see your knee.

Bye, bye.

Whaddup?

Hey, man. Let's hang out tonight.

- I can't.

I'm training a new team.

I miss you, dude.

- You miss me? Wow. OK.

Did anyone help you unpack

those boxes?

What? When?

- Let's see...

After you moved to the country

of Gaylordia.

F*ggot.

- Your mother is a f*ggot.

Sure. OK.

B*tch niggah!

Want to have some fun?

Seriously? I said 'fun'.

- Yes.

This is fun to you?

A fair.

How old are you?

Yes! Max!

F***!

Thanks, retard.

Max!

Again with that sweater?

You were going to throw it out.

I think about you all day long.

- What?

We're going on the bumper cars. See ya.

- Be careful.

I want to drive. Move.

Where's the gas pedal?

Ouch!

Jerk!

Don't sit there laughing.

Do something.

It's so great that you don't get involved.

Just walk away

and show who's the most mature.

That's great. You're great.

Go away.

- No, come here. Kisses.

Kisses.

Help.

Hey, sweetie.

Hi, honey.

We're back together.

This is Eefje, a coworker.

Prick!

Whoa. You f***ing saved me.

You're talking to me again.

- What?

You're talking to me again.

- Yeah, well...

I wasn't feeling well. A bit sick, so...

I didn't want you to get sick too.

- Yeah, right. Thanks so much.

Candy cane?

Come on.

- No.

Wimp.

- I don't do that kind of sh*t.

Why not?

When I was 12

I entered a talent show at school.

He's got a boner.

That's why I'll never ever

go in front of an audience again.

Get AIDS!

Robin Hood!

Sh*t.

Jordy, let go.

It was awesome last night.

- Yeah.

It was a lot of fun.

I really like you.

That kiss wasn't a good idea, was it?

It was just the moment.

Of course, the moment.

- And...

The situation.

- The situation.

It's getting more serious with your brother.

- Yeah, same here.

It was a mistake.

- I think so too. A mistake.

I mean, we're not really

a perfect match.

And I didn't find your kissing

all that great.

I expected something better.

And it didn't smell all that fresh.

Foul.

Nothing personal or anything,

but I agree.

Clear.

- Yes.

Well, then...

...I'll see you soon, probably.

Thanks for everything, OK?

- Yes, OK.

Kissed?

The whore.

- Shut up.

She's a ho.

I went too far.

Niggah!

Hey, man. We need to talk. I have to...

- Sure, tonight. I'll get some shrooms.

What?

- Shrooms, b*tch.

I have to tell you something.

- I'm just going to do it.

What?

- Living together with Anna.

It's become a relationship, anyway.

So we might as well live together.

She makes classic quesadillas.

Shrimp.

I'm going to eat that all the time.

And...

...living together.

The baby elephant is cast out

by its family.

The calf doesn't know what to do

when the herd moves on.

A cry of despair,

but his call isn't answered.

Hey, be careful, goddammit,

that's a classic.

Sorry, I'm taking this one too.

- You're such a f*ggot.

I paid for it, you know.

You can have the car.

I'm not talking about

that stupid TV or car.

I'm talking about our pact, godda...

- Oh, right. That stupid pact.

We couldn't stick to it forever.

It had to happen some day. Look...

I didn't expect this either,

but it just feels right. I think.

And maybe it's time...

...you grow up too.

Let's do this one together, honey.

F***.

This is one of the Chinese.

- You're kidding.

Great deduction.

What happened?

- What?

What happened?

We're very busy investigating that.

So if you can step behind the tape

like everyone else...

Yes but, I work here.

Oh, you work here.

Allow me to congratulate you.

You're unemployed.

- What?

Your boss committed armed robbery here

last night.

What?

- Poor Chinese family.

Didn't know what was coming.

Did you know they gave

free meals to addicts?

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Steffen Haars

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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