Bros Before Hos Page #4

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At least they fought back.

Hey...

...just leave it.

He was bankrupt.

Not surprisingly. Who still rents

movies at a video store?

I download them. Why pay for

something you can get for free online?

Right?

Could you give these to Jordy, please?

No.

Really?

You too?

She wouldn't mind

getting together with me.

But she knows I'm married.

And she's not the type

to stir up trouble...

...in a so-so marriage.

That's been a while.

It's good.

I don't mind at all

that security isn't allowed guns.

I mean...

...it isn't as if I don't want

to fire a gun some day.

A Glock.

Super reliable.

A Magnum .44 Colt Anaconda.

It's for Jordy.

No one has to know.

Jules, register 1.

Jules, register 1, please.

Well...

What do you think?

Hello? Jules?

Jules, register 1.

Hey, man.

I'm in love with Anna, man.

Yeah, right.

And this is my new fag buddy.

He's got a pretty pink pooper.

Seriously.

Sorry, sir, are these shrimp chips

on sale?

I can't help it. I know it's f***ed up,

but I think she's...

...awesome and hot.

We hung out a few times

and I liked here more and more.

I tried to stop it, but...

We kissed.

Dude, what the f***?

- Motherf***er!

First you're whining like a b*tch

when I move in with her.

'Our pact, our pact!'

Our f***ing pact.

And then kissing with my chick.

You filthy...

Fag!

You have no right to speak anyway.

Stop, stop.

Stop.

You can't do that sh*t.

I'm your brother, dude.

I'm your f***ing brother.

- F*** you.

You're not even my real brother.

A f***ing adoptee. You were bought.

F*** you, f*ggot!

- F*** you.

Oh God, Imca Marina.

You're still here?

What did you think? That peanut

must know about shrimp chips?

Oh, sh*t.

So you told him?

You've got the chicken's anus exactly...

What's that stupid dog doing here?

- Well...

Since Jules has moved...

...and we still have to pay

my father the rent...

...and I talked to Suus about it...

...we felt... she felt it was a good idea...

- Seriously?

I don't want to bring it up all the time...

...but you pee on it

and I have to sit on it. Get it?

Max, can you make sure

you put the toilet seat up when you pee?

F*** this sh*t.

Digital? Digital, my ass.

There's nothing but static.

Is that so? Just take care of it.

Mongoloid b*tch.

Hi, dad.

- What happened to you?

Thank you for watching Lingo.

An S.

S, T, I, N, K.

It's 'stoma', stupid dick.

Stem.

S, T, A...

But...

What happened?

Between you.

Did your brother...

Right, of course.

F***ing TV.

God... goddammit.

Hi, sweetheart.

Am I as good a kisser as my brother,

or not?

Sorry, sweetie.

I understand if you're angry.

I'd go nuts if you'd do

something like that.

If I'd do what?

I wouldn't be able to handle it.

No, no, f*** it.

I'm not super angry.

I'm not like:

'Whoa, slut.

What the hell are you doing?'

'You're causing me pain.'

Hey, he's my brother. That's it.

- I know.

I'm really very sorry.

- Forget it.

The vole will stay forever

with the female he lost his virginity to.

Honeybun, what's your password?

Password? Why?

- My computer is still in a box.

I need to e-mail something.

- I could enter it myself.

Why? Don't you trust me?

- Sure I do.

But it's just...

OK, it's:
RENE...

...6969.

Thank you.

- OK.

Who is this?

- Who?

Who is this?

- Huh?

That's Sasha Grey.

She's a porn star.

It's not her real name.

She's actually called...

- Why do you watch porn?

Why do I watch porn?

Why the f*** are you interrogating me?

- Sorry, I...

I just have to get used

to that living together.

You're right. I'm nagging.

Let's stop talking about it.

- No, let's...

Seriously?

- I'm going to ride Misty.

Have fun riding Misty.

Get lost.

Do you still find me attractive?

- Of course.

I just don't know.

I used to be enough

and now you need that filthy broad...

...and filthy porn.

I can't do this anymore.

- What are you talking about?

It's over.

What?

Come on out. How much longer

are you staying in there?

Just put it down.

I'll get it in a minute.

Well, happy birthday, OK?

You and your brother.

I'm in love.

So?

It's Jules chick and I know what you

used to say about relationships.

Yes, never have one.

Nothing but trouble. See?

Well, as Rick James used to say:

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Especially in combination

with strippers and so on.

Not as if they were super hot, though.

The mood lights they usually

shine on them...

...does those girls a lot of good.

It gave me a fright when the work lights

went on at the end of the evening.

Difficult skin, you know.

Pits all over the place.

Yeah, so?

- Huh?

Right. Well, despite everything...

...your mother tried

to keep things together.

For you and your brother.

It's because...

...I literally never opened the door again

that you didn't see her anymore.

Listen, Max...

...I was just an a**hole.

Your mother was the nicest woman

in the world.

It's just that it took a few years

before I realized that.

Once she was in the hospital

and I wanted to tell her that...

...she never wanted to see me again.

I was simply much too late.

But that Anne or Anna?

Anna.

Is she the one?

Then what are you still doing here

with your dad?

You turned 30 today, goddammit.

Better go and fight for her.

You don't get a second chance that easily.

Look at me.

Even better:
talk to your brother first.

No, even better:
Shave off

that gnome beard first.

Happy...

Sh*t, honey. This is not... it's not...

How are you?

Can I go home now?

Anna, wait!

She was the last one.

The very last one.

She wasn't the only one?

- Yes.

No.

What the f*** are you doing here?

Get lost, b*tch

Anna just dumped me.

Happy now?

If you hadn't kissed her,

everything would be fine.

Dude, bro's before ho's.

- Bro's before ho's. Just shut up.

Hey! I can see your dick.

Happy birthday.

Same to you, man.

It'll be fine. It will.

Are you OK?

- His girlfriend just broke up with him.

And it's our birthday.

I'm giving you a free show.

I missed you, man.

- And I you.

I f***ed everything up.

With Anna, with you.

Anna is f***ing incredible,

but relationships aren't my thing.

Maybe she deserves...

Maybe she deserves someone...

...like...

What?

Thanks.

There you go.

Happy birthday!

Big kiss, Mercedes.

Happy birthday.

Niggah what!

- How the f*** did you get here?

I do not know.

I have no idea how I got here.

I just came from...

- It's over with Suzanne, b*tch.

F*** that, ho.

F*** the ho.

Really?

- Yeah, man.

Where are you going?

Can I come?

Enter, Jordy, Jeffrey.

Jordy, Jeffrey?

Where are Jordy and Jeffrey?

And Paula?

We'll have a five-minute break.

Hey Anna, I have to tell you something.

Hold on.

Jordy, stop.

Guys, stop.

Say what?

Towerbridge. Classic.

Hi, Anna.

What is this?

- Sorry, I meant well.

You did it too.

- 'You did it too'?

My choice. My responsibility.

What's going...

Get your stuff.

- This isn't my fault.

Never mind. You're fired.

And the contest?

- You should have thought of that sooner.

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