Bruce Almighty Page #10

Synopsis: Bruce Nolan's (Jim Carrey) career in TV has been stalled for a while, and when he's passed over for a coveted anchorman position, he loses it, complaining that God is treating him poorly. Soon after, God (Morgan Freeman) actually contacts Bruce and offers him all of his powers if he thinks he can do a better job. Bruce accepts and goes on a spree, using his new-found abilities for selfish, personal use until he realizes that the prayers of the world are going unanswered.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Production: Universal Pictures
  7 wins & 8 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.7
Metacritic:
46
Rotten Tomatoes:
49%
PG-13
Year:
2003
101 min
$242,589,580
Website
1,521 Views


42.

WAITRESS:

We've got a special on soup today.

BRUCE:

No, that's okay.

WAITRESS:

It's tomato.

BRUCE:

Alright, okay.

She heads off. Bruce sits thinking. Could it be real?

He looks at the SUGAR down at the end of the table, holds out

his hand and the SUGAR SLIDES ACROSS THE TABLE RIGHT INTO HIS

HAND. The CREAMER slides into his other hand.

Bruce is half scared, half thrilled. He pours some cream and

sugar into his cup, looks around the table.

BRUCE:

Excuse me I need a spoooo...

Bruce chokes up a spoon into his hands, wipes it off with his

napkin.

BRUCE:

That's alright, I found one.

The Old Man eyes Bruce suspiciously, gets up and moves

further down the counter.

The Waitress sets down the soup, heads off, then turns back.

WAITRESS:

I lie to my sister.

BRUCE:

What?

WAITRESS:

(becoming emotional)

And I'm sleeping with my best

friend's husband. I know he's just

using me but.. I'm just so tired of

being alone. I don't know why I'm

telling you all this. Just seems

like you'd understand.

BRUCE:

Okay.

43.

WAITRESS:

(sets the check down)

Take care of that whenever you're

ready.

Bruce looks at the soup. His look grows intense. He slowly

raises his hands over the soup bowl....

MUSIC UP:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS THEME

The front door blows open, as A WIND SWIRLS through the diner

and with all the flourish of Moses at the Red Sea, BRUCE

PARTS HIS RED SOUP.

A little cockroach scurries across the table, climbs up the

edge of the bowl and walks through to the other side.

GOD (O.S.)

Havin' fun?

Bruce is startled and the soup splashes back to normal

collapsing on the cockroach. He looks up at God standing

beside the booth. Bruce is now awestruck.

BRUCE:

You- He- Thy...

GOD:

Let's take a walk.

EXT. LAKE ERIE - DAY

God leans down, lets the little soup covered cockroach go.

God and Bruce then walk along the lake shore.

GOD:

(re:
the cockroach)

Most people want to kill these

guys. I'm quite fond of em'. Very

streamlined design. Like little

armored tanks. Y'know, they can

hold their breath for forty minutes

and their cells divide only once

per molting cycle creating a

cytoskeleton with cell adhesion

that...

(catching himself)

Oh, this is a bit over your head,

isn't it?

Off Bruce's look.

44.

GOD:

Okay, let me explain the rules.

BRUCE:

Rules ?

GOD:

Yeah, you left in such a rush I

didn't get a chance to explain.

BRUCE:

Well the two extra fingers freaked

me out a little bit.

GOD:

(laughs)

I figured that would get your

attention.. I did the same thing to

Ghandi, he couldn't eat for three

weeks. Now, here's the deal. You

have all my power. Use it any way

you choose. There are only two

rules. You can't tell anyone

you're God. Believe me you don't

want that kind of attention. And

you can't mess with free will.

BRUCE:

Uh huh. Can I-ask why?

GOD:

(excited)

Yes you can. That's the beauty it.

Suddenly a LARGE SAILBOAT SAIL PASSES RIGHT BY THEM. Bruce

looks to the sail, oddly, then...

WIDE ANGLE - REVEAL God and Bruce are now walking ON THE LAKE

about 100 feet from the shore. They watch the sailboat pass.

Bruce is awestruck.

BRUCE:

This is amazing.

GOD:

Oh, speaking of amazing...

God dips his hand in the Lake and pulls out THE PRAYER BEADS.

He pockets them as he talks.

45.

GOD:

Since you're finished with these, I

think I'll hang to 'em. Might come

in handy someday.

WIDE MASTER - BUFFALO CITY-SCAPE

God and Bruce are tiny figures on the river, as God begins to

walk away.

GOD:

I'll be seein' ya.

BRUCE:

Where are you going?

GOD:

I'm taking a vacation.

BRUCE:

God can't take a vacation. Can he?

Can you?

GOD:

Ever hear of the Dark Ages?

Besides, I'm covered. You can fix

everything in five minutes if you

want to, right?

ON BRUCE:

BRUCE:

...Right.

Left alone, Bruce begins to carefully tip toe back to shore,

progresses to a full sprint.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

Grace and Debbie stand at the check-out stand. Grace flips

through a celeb magazine, as Debbie places the last few items

from the cart to the conveyor belt.

In the background, throughout, Debbie's daughter, Zoe is

grabbing random items off the shelves and placing them on the

belt.

GRACE:

(re:
magazine)

Gosh, this girl is so talented and

all they ever talk about is her

hair.

46.

DEBBIE:

Yeah, she should marry somebody

famous, take the focus off.

Grace checks her cell phone screen.

DEBBIE:

We would have heard it ring.

GRACE:

I know. It's just that he usually

calls during the day.

DEBBIE:

He just needs to blow off some

steam, he'll be fine.

GRACE:

I hope so. I've never seen him *

that mad. An d I lashed back-- *

DEBBIE:

Wow, you lashed? You never lash.

I'm impressed.

GRACE:

I feel bad for him. He's wanted

anchor for so long.

Zoe begins pulling groups of items onto the belt.

DEBBIE:

Well, I've been praying to win the

lottery for fifteen years, but it's

not going to happen. You know,

it's not all about money.

The CLERK finishes ringing the last item.

CLERK:

That'll be four hundred and twenty-

seven, eighty.-

DEBBIE:

What?!

Debbie looks in a bag, pulls out a handful of various counter

items. Zoe giggles and proudly holds up one of the hundred

or so Tic-Tac mint containers.

DEBBIE:

Zoe.

(to Clerk)

(MORE)

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Steve Koren

Steve Koren is an American screenwriter. He co-wrote the movies Bruce Almighty, Click, Superstar, and A Night at the Roxbury, and wrote for Saturday Night Live and Seinfeld. more…

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