Bruce Almighty Page #10

WAITRESS:

(sets the check down)

Take care of that whenever you're

ready.

Bruce looks at the soup. His look grows intense. He slowly

raises his hands over the soup bowl....

MUSIC UP:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS THEME

The front door blows open, as A WIND SWIRLS through the diner

and with all the flourish of Moses at the Red Sea, BRUCE

PARTS HIS RED SOUP.

A little cockroach scurries across the table, climbs up the

edge of the bowl and walks through to the other side.

GOD (O.S.)

Havin' fun?

Bruce is startled and the soup splashes back to normal

collapsing on the cockroach. He looks up at God standing

beside the booth. Bruce is now awestruck.

BRUCE:

You- He- Thy...

GOD:

Let's take a walk.

EXT. LAKE ERIE - DAY

God leans down, lets the little soup covered cockroach go.

God and Bruce then walk along the lake shore.

GOD:

(re:
the cockroach)

Most people want to kill these

guys. I'm quite fond of em'. Very

streamlined design. Like little

armored tanks. Y'know, they can

hold their breath for forty minutes

and their cells divide only once

per molting cycle creating a

cytoskeleton with cell adhesion

that...

(catching himself)

Oh, this is a bit over your head,

isn't it?

Off Bruce's look.

44.

GOD:

Okay, let me explain the rules.

BRUCE:

Rules ?

GOD:

Yeah, you left in such a rush I

didn't get a chance to explain.

BRUCE:

Well the two extra fingers freaked

me out a little bit.

GOD:

(laughs)

I figured that would get your

attention.. I did the same thing to

Ghandi, he couldn't eat for three

weeks. Now, here's the deal. You

have all my power. Use it any way

you choose. There are only two

rules. You can't tell anyone

you're God. Believe me you don't

want that kind of attention. And

you can't mess with free will.

BRUCE:

Uh huh. Can I-ask why?

GOD:

(excited)

Yes you can. That's the beauty it.

Suddenly a LARGE SAILBOAT SAIL PASSES RIGHT BY THEM. Bruce

looks to the sail, oddly, then...

WIDE ANGLE - REVEAL God and Bruce are now walking ON THE LAKE

about 100 feet from the shore. They watch the sailboat pass.

Bruce is awestruck.

BRUCE:

This is amazing.

GOD:

Oh, speaking of amazing...

God dips his hand in the Lake and pulls out THE PRAYER BEADS.

He pockets them as he talks.

45.

GOD:

Since you're finished with these, I

think I'll hang to 'em. Might come

in handy someday.

WIDE MASTER - BUFFALO CITY-SCAPE

God and Bruce are tiny figures on the river, as God begins to

walk away.

GOD:

I'll be seein' ya.

BRUCE:

Where are you going?

GOD:

I'm taking a vacation.

BRUCE:

God can't take a vacation. Can he?

Can you?

GOD:

Ever hear of the Dark Ages?

Besides, I'm covered. You can fix

everything in five minutes if you

want to, right?

ON BRUCE:

BRUCE:

...Right.

Left alone, Bruce begins to carefully tip toe back to shore,

progresses to a full sprint.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

Grace and Debbie stand at the check-out stand. Grace flips

through a celeb magazine, as Debbie places the last few items

from the cart to the conveyor belt.

In the background, throughout, Debbie's daughter, Zoe is

grabbing random items off the shelves and placing them on the

belt.

GRACE:

(re:
magazine)

Gosh, this girl is so talented and

all they ever talk about is her

hair.

46.

DEBBIE:

Yeah, she should marry somebody

famous, take the focus off.

Grace checks her cell phone screen.

DEBBIE:

We would have heard it ring.

GRACE:

I know. It's just that he usually

calls during the day.

DEBBIE:

He just needs to blow off some

steam, he'll be fine.

GRACE:

I hope so. I've never seen him *

that mad. An d I lashed back-- *

DEBBIE:

Wow, you lashed? You never lash.

I'm impressed.

GRACE:

I feel bad for him. He's wanted

anchor for so long.

Zoe begins pulling groups of items onto the belt.

DEBBIE:

Well, I've been praying to win the

lottery for fifteen years, but it's

not going to happen. You know,

it's not all about money.

The CLERK finishes ringing the last item.

CLERK:

That'll be four hundred and twenty-

seven, eighty.-

DEBBIE:

What?!

Debbie looks in a bag, pulls out a handful of various counter

items. Zoe giggles and proudly holds up one of the hundred

or so Tic-Tac mint containers.

DEBBIE:

Zoe.

(to Clerk)

(MORE)

47.

DEBBIE (cont'd)

Hang on, I might need you to un-

check a few things.

The people in line hem and haw, exasperated.

GUY IN LINE:

Come on, lady.

DEBBIE:

(snaps)

Hey, everybody back-off i

Zoe laughs, enjoying the commotion.

GRACE:

Listen, I better get back. I want

to be there for him.

DEBBIE:

You're a saint, Grace.

GRACE:

What can I say, I love him. And if

I know Bruce, he's out there

wandering around with the weight of

the world on his shoulders.

CUT T0:

EXT. CITY STREETS - DUSK

Bruce struts down the street the embodiment of confidence.

He turns shooting a finger at a fire hydrant, it BLASTS

WATER. KIDS run off their front steps, start playing.

A PRETTY GIRL IN A DRESS, comes' walking toward him. As she

passes he BLOWS A LITTLE AIR OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH

and turns to watch her SKIRT FLY UP.

BRUCE:

And he saw that it was good.

He spots a mannequin in a store window display, wearing a

cool, casu al outfit. He closes his eyes. When he opens

them, HE'S WEARING THE COOL NEW OUTFIT and the mannequin is

dressed in his clothes. He checks his reflection. . . better.

Bruce rounds the corner, sees the SAME GANG that beat him up,

hanging out in the alley.

BRUCE:

B-e-a-utifull

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