Bruce Almighty Page #3

1.

1

BOBBY:

Bruce the goose! Morning, Buddy.

Don't even move, I got somethin'

special today. My mom made it just

for you.

BRUCE:

Well, that's- Bobby, I gotta go-

I'm late...

BOBBY:

(bending down)

You like Quiche?

He comes back up, proudly presents a slice of quiche.

BOBBY:

You know, contrary to popular

belief the quiche was actually

invented by the Mayans, then stolen

by the French. They shoulda said,

"Hey, that quiche ain't yours, it's

Mayan!"

Bobby belts out a laugh.

BRUCE:

Bobby, I can't, I--

BOBBY:

Just taste it, taste it...

Bobby shoves a bite into Bruce's mouth. Bruce feigns liking

it with exasperation.

BRUCE:

Mmm, delicious, I really gotta go.

BOBBY:

That's a buck seventy-five.

BRUCE:

Can you get Kelly- Ahh...

Bruce tosses the thought, digs into his pocket, fishing for

cash.

BOBBY:

(excited)

Oh, two o'clock, two o'clock, two-o-

five, two-ten...

12.

Bruce glances over, annoyed but freezes at the sight of sexy

anchorwoman, SUSAN ORTEGA across the room.

BOBBY:

Way out of our league, huh?

Bruce offers his money to Bobby.

BOBBY:

You know, I saw them editing your

cookie piece.

BRUCE:

Really?

BOBBY:

They must have gotten high or

something, cause they was orderin'

everything, I had. Hey, how long

have you been interested in pastry?

'Cause I've got an aunt who makes

baklava twenty layers deep.

BRUCE:

(holding money out)

Bobby.

BOBBY:

(gets a brilliant idea)

Maybe you could do a story on her!

Bruce tosses the money on the cart, heads off.

BRUCE:

Keep the change.

BOBBY:

(calling after)

I'll give her a call, we'll talk

about it later!

INT. STAFF MEETING ROOM - DAY

ON THE MONITOR:

EVAN:

Is something killing your kids?

Find out tonight at eleven.

Bruce looks at the sign quizzically for a beat, then

continues on.

13.

IN THE ROOM:

The morning meeting is well in progress. Leading the group

is the station manager and Bruce's boss, JACK KELLER, 50's, a

constant furrow in his brow.

Also in the room: Bruce's fellow field reporter and rival

EVAN BAXTER, 30' s , a walking statement. Impeccable posture,

perfect speech, perfect everything and he knows it.

FRED DONOHUE, the ever jovial sports reporter; always tanned,

vain weatherman, DALLAS COLEMAN and segment producer Ally

Loman.

JACK:

Okay, promos are approved, let's--

ALLY:

Ah, isn't that last one a little

misleading? I mean, the story's

about flu shots. Do we have to

scare people to death?

EVAN:

No, just into watching. Or I could

change it to:
"Slow news day, come

yawn with us. At eleven."

FRED:

Sniffles at eleven is nice.

DALLAS:

Attack of the killer sniffles?

ALLY:

(to Dallas)

The tanning booth is starting to

zap your brain, you know that?

DALLAS:

I don't use a tanning booth.

A beat and they all crack up.

FRED *

Come on. You're turning orange. *

EVAN *

He looks Florida ripe to me. . *

More laughs. *

14.

JACK:

I would have swore I already said

this, but promos are approved. Now *

can we move on? *

ALLY:

Jack, shouldn't the promos be *

focusing on Pete's retirement.

This is his last week.

EVAN:

(leading)

Yeah, yeah. Any word on the open

anchor position, Jack?

JACK:

Evan, you'11 know something when I

know something.

Bruce bursts into the room. The meeting stops. Jack doesn't

need to say anything, he just looks at his watch.

BRUCE:

Sorry, Jack. It wasn't my fault.

The traffic was -- You guys already

played the spots?

JACK:

Nice story, Bruce, but we're going

with Evan's piece on the sex

scandal at the mayor's office for

sweeps.

This hits Bruce hard. A beat of silence.

EVAN:

And that's the way the cookie

crumbles.

The others chuckle. Only Ally remains sympathetic.

EVAN:

I'm just messin' with you, Bruce.

See you've got to remember that the

news room is like a cookie...

More laughs.

BRUCE:

(re:
Evan's perfect

posture)

That's great Evan.

(MORE)

15.

BRUCE (cont'd)

Is you're posture naturally that

good, or do you have to shove a

stick up there?

JACK:

Okay, knock it off... Bruce we're

holding your story in reserve.

Now, can we get back to the board

so we have something to air today?

Jack continues with assignments. Evan sits smugly, as Bruce

slides down into his chair, deflated.

INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

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