Bruce Almighty Page #7

BRUCE (cont'd)

But he doesn't want to. He doesn't

like me.

Sam starts PEEING ON THE RUG.

BRUCE:

Oh, Perfect!

(to the dog)

But you're aim isn't so good, I'm

over herel

GRACE:

Bruce, please. This isn't his

fault.

BRUCE:

Of course not.

(hushed tone)

It's part of the mysterious plan.

Grace puts Sam outside. Returns, trying to calm Bruce.

GRACE:

Honey, you're mad right now. It's

understandable. And what Evan did

was slimy and wrong. But your job

doesn't matter to me. You matter

to me. You could've really been

hurt. I'm just glad you're okay.

BRUCE:

Okay? News flash: I'm not okayi

And I'm not okay with the fact that

you think everything is okay. I'm

not okay with a mediocre job. I'm

not okay with a mediocre apartment.

I'm not okay with a mediocre LIFE!

Bruce angrily swipes at the table knocking the photos and the

photo albums to floor.

GRACE:

Is that what you have, Bruce?

A mediocre life? Well, I'm sorry

for being a piece in your mediocre

puzzle.

BRUCE:

Terrific. I'm drowning and you

throw me a brick!

Grace starts to cry.

30.

BRUCE:

Perfect! I'll have the worst day

of my life with a side order of

guilt, please. I-- I don't need

this.

Bruce grabs his keys and heads out.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

It's RAINING now. Bruce drives, going nowhere in particular.

His frustration is turning to desperation.

BRUCE:

Okay, God. You want me to talk to

you? Then talk back. Tell me

what's going on? What should I

do? Give me a sign...

Bruce passes a BLINKING YELLOW CAUTION LIGHT, doesn't

notice. . .

BRUCE:

I'm right here. Speak to me.

A PEDESTRIAN stepping into the crosswalk, steps back out of

the way.

PEDESTRIAN:

SLOW DOWN, A**HOLE!

Bruce is oblivious.

BRUCE:

All I need is some guidance.

Please send me a signal.

A TRUCK TRANSPORTING VARIOUS ROAD SIGNS pulls in front of

Br uce . F our way s, bli nki ng. The va rie d s igns re ad: Yi eld ,

Wrong Way, Dead End, Do Not Enter, Stop.

BRUCE:

Oh well, I guess you don't care.

Bruce spots the PRAYER BEADS hanging on the rearview mirror.

BRUCE:

Okay, we'll do it your way.

(pulls the beads from the

mirror)

Lord, I need a miracle. Please

help me.

31.

He hits a bump and the BEADS DROP TO THE FLOOR. Bruce

reaches down, fishes for the beads...

BRUCE:

Come on, where'd you go?

(holds them up in triumph)

Ah ha! AHHH!

And BAM!11 BRUCE'S CAR SLAMS INTO A LIGHT POST.

EXT. STREET - LAKE EERIE - CONTINUOUS

Bruce stumbles out, surveys his demolished car, then looks at

the beads in his hands. He begins to laugh maniacally.

He spots the lake, starts running toward it like a madman,

HEAVES THE PRAYER BEADS INTO THE LAKE. He looks heavenward,

challenging the Infinite.

BRUCE:

Okay, if that's the way you want

it. The gloves are off, pal! Let

me see a little wrath! Smite me oh

mighty smiteri What, no pestilence

no boils? Come on, you got me on

the ropes, don't you want to finish

me off?! You're the one who should

be fired! The only one around here

not doing his job is YOU! What are

we, you're little pet project? A

hobby you tinker with now and

again? Answer me. ANSWER ME!!!

A beat of silence then Bruce's BEEPER GOES OFF. He cynically

chuckles at the timing, checks it, sees 772-5623.

BRUCE:

Sorry, don't know you, wouldn't

call you if I did.

Bruce walks off toward his wrecked car, it BEEPS AGAIN.

CUT TO:

CLOSE ON - AN ALARM CLOCK

The BEEPING continues. We are in. . .

INT. BRUCE AND GRACE'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING

Bruce wakes, slaps at the alarm clock, groggy, reaches for

the phone, finally realizes it's the beeper. He gets up,

begrudgingly, checks it. The same number.

32.

BRUCE:

Well, hello again 772-5623, don't

hold your breath.

Bruce tosses the pager on the bed, heads for the bathroom.

The beeper BEEPS. Bruce stops in his tracks, turns, opens

the window, grabs the beeper and FIRES IT OUT. It SHATTERS

against a telephone pole. He calmly continues to the

bathroom.

INT. BATHROOM

A note is stuck in the bathroom mirror, with an old picture

of he and Grace in happier times. The note simply says:

"I LOVE YOU. WE NEED TO TALK.

Grace"

Peering over top of the note, Bruce sees Sam circling on the

rug.

BRUCE:

Oh, no.

EXT. STAIR WELL - CONTINUOUS

Bruce runs down the stairs carrying the trickling, Sam.

EXT. APARTMENT - DAY

Bruce sets Sam on the grass. Sam looks up, finished.

BRUCE:

What's the point?

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP...

Bruce walks over to the shattered beeper. He picks up a

small piece of it containing the LED read out: 772-5623

ON BRUCE - AMAZED

CUT TO:

INT. BRUCE AND GRACE'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

A PHONE - BRUCE DIALS THE NUMBER

A PRERECORDED VOICE ANSWERS

33.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE

Denied that promotion at work? Is

life unfair? Everywhere you turn

is there someone less talented than

you reaping all the benefits ? Is

your name Bruce? Then do we have

the job for you. We're located at

77256 23rd Street...

Bruce reaches for a pen, begins jotting down the address.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE

So come on down, or we'll just keep

beepin' ya.

EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

An old building on the outskirts of town. A faded sign

painted on the wall reads, OMNI PRESENTS.

Bruce's demolished car enters frame. He studies the area and

building suspiciously.

Bruce cautiously moves towards the structure and then, STEPS

IN A PUDDLE. He SINKS UP TO HIS KNEE.

BRUCE:

Perfect.

He gets out, shakes off his sopping leg, and heads inside.

INT. OMNI PRESENTS - DAY

Bruce enters and checks the BUILDING DIRECTORY. It reads:

OMNI PRESENTS UNLTD.

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