Bruce Almighty Page #8
Bruce walks over to the shattered beeper. He picks up a
small piece of it containing the LED read out: 772-5623
ON BRUCE - AMAZED
CUT TO:
INT. BRUCE AND GRACE'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
A PHONE - BRUCE DIALS THE NUMBER
A PRERECORDED VOICE ANSWERS
33.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE
Denied that promotion at work? Is
life unfair? Everywhere you turn
is there someone less talented than
you reaping all the benefits ? Is
your name Bruce? Then do we have
the job for you. We're located at
77256 23rd Street...
Bruce reaches for a pen, begins jotting down the address.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE
So come on down, or we'll just keep
beepin' ya.
EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
An old building on the outskirts of town. A faded sign
painted on the wall reads, OMNI PRESENTS.
Bruce's demolished car enters frame. He studies the area and
building suspiciously.
Bruce cautiously moves towards the structure and then, STEPS
IN A PUDDLE. He SINKS UP TO HIS KNEE.
BRUCE:
Perfect.
He gets out, shakes off his sopping leg, and heads inside.
Bruce enters and checks the BUILDING DIRECTORY. It reads:
OMNI PRESENTS UNLTD.
Pers onnel Rm. 7
Ac coun ting Rm. 7
Security Rm . 7
Creativ e Rm. 7
VOICE (O.S.)
You're looking for room 7.
Bruce turns to see a JANITOR mopping the floor. He looks at
Bruce's wet leg, offers the mop.
JANITOR:
Want me to even those up for you?
34.
BRUCE:
(feigns a smile)
How would I get to room 7?
JANITOR:
That'd be on the seventh floor.
Stairs are right over there.
BRUCE:
What about the elevator?
He points to an elevator bank a couple of steps away.
JANITOR:
Out of order.
Bruce heads for the stairs.
JANITOR:
You mind giving me a hand with this
floor?
BRUCE:
What? Yeah, I mind.
He continues on.
SEVENTH FLOOR:
The stairwell door opens up to a LARGE ROOM with a SINGLE
DESK at the end of an otherwise empty space.
Bruce hears someone tinkering atop a tall ladder extending
into a hole in the ceiling.
BRUCE:
Excuse me. Hello. I'm, ah,
looking for whoever runs this
joint...
MAN (O.S.)
Be right with y.a, just fixin' a
light. Tell me if it's working?
CLICK and an INSANELY BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT ILLUMINATES, shining
down blinding Bruce.
BRUCE:
Yep, seems to be.
(wiping his eyes)
Kinda bright, though.
35.
An electrician, silhouetted in the bright light, descends the
ladder.
MAN (O.S.)
Yeah, it is for most people. They
spend their lives in the dark...
As he talks he steps down next to Bruce and we see that it is
the SAME JANITOR.
JANITOR (CONT'D)
. . . thinkin' they can hide from me.
The two stand, angelically illuminated. Bruce tries to put
everything together.
BRUCE:
Oh, the elevator's broken, huh?
JANITOR:
Yeah, but I'll get around to it.
The Janitor CLAPS HIS HANDS TWICE and the light goes off.
BRUCE:
You installed a clapper?
JANITOR:
Nope. Catchy jingle, though.
(sings)
CLAP ON. CLAP OFF. CLAP ON, CLAP
OFF. THE CLAPPER.
(claps twice)
You can't get it out of your head.
BRUCE:
I gotta go.
JANITOR:
Okay, but the boss'11 be right out.
The Janitor unzips his uniform, revealing a very nice suit.
He extends his hand to Bruce.
JANITOR:
You must be Bruce. I've been
expecting you.
BRUCE:
Oh, this is hilarious. So you're
the boss and the electrician and
the janitor.
36.
JANITOR:
Nothin' wrong with rollin' up your
sleeves, son. People underestimate
the benefits of good 'ol manual
labor. There's freedom in it.
Happiest people in the world stink
like hell at the end of the day.
He strolls down the room, takes a seat behind the big desk.
JANITOR:
Your father knew that. He was a
damn good welder.
Bruce approaches the desk.
BRUCE:
How do you know my father? And how
did you get my pager number?
JANITOR:
Oh, I know a lot about you Bruce.
Pretty much everything there is to
know. Everything you've ever said,
done or thought about doin', is
right there in that file cabinet.
He points out a single drawer file cabinet.
BRUCE:
(sarcastic)
Wow, a whole drawer. Just for me?
Mind if I take a look?
JANITOR:
It's your life.
Bruce pulls the drawer and it FLIES OPEN, DRAGGING HIM THE
The Janitor casually pulls a file.
JANITOR:
Now this last entry was a little
disturbing.
He thumps the file cabinet with his fist and the drawer
dramatically sucks closed, DRAGGING BRUCE BACK. The Janitor
reads from the file.
JANITOR:
(reads, scanning)
Thanks for everything, Lord.
(MORE)
37.
JANITOR (cont'd)
I am so honored that my horrible
demise is a part of your loving and
mysterious plan.. The gloves are
off, pal.. Smite me oh mighty
smiter.
(aside)
I'm not much for blaspheming but
that one made me laugh. Oh, and
let's not forget "What kind of a
God would let this happen? I mean,
have you seen then news lately?"
Bruce stands, dazed. ·
BRUCE:
Who are you?
JANITOR:
I'm the creator of the heavens and
the earth. I'm the alpha & omega.
The first and the last.
BRUCE:
Sorry, it's not ringing a bell.
JANITOR/GOD
I'm God, Bruce.
BRUCE:
Oh, you're God. Well that explains
everything1 That's how you know
everything about me. That's how
you got up to the seventh floor so
quickly.
(placating)
Well, it's really nice to meet you.
Thanks for the Grand Canyon and,
ah, good luck with the apocalypse.
Bruce turns to leave, BUT FINDS HIMSELF WALKING RIGHT TOWARD
GOD AND HIS DESK. He tries again, and again.
BRUCE:
Okay, I don't know how you're doing
that, but I really gotta go. This
place is obviously rigged in some
way. We're on some freaky hidden
camera show.
(playing to the "cameras")
...for which I will not sign a
release, by the way! But you know
what, I'd be a little more
impressed if you didn't use the
cheesy file cabinet illusion.
(MORE)
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"Bruce Almighty" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bruce_almighty_183>.
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