Bruno & Boots: Go Jump in the Pool Page #4

Quite the scene.

Well, if it isn't

Headmaster Hartley

of York Boys' Academy.

Having a nice time, Bob?

Well, I just picked up

Sherlock Holmes'

copper umbrella stand

for $10,

so that's something.

Mm-hmm. Well, you know,

that probably didn't belong

to Sherlock Holmes.

Oh? And how would you know?

Well, for one thing, Sherlock

Holmes wasn't a real person.

Then explain

the umbrella stand.

Anyways, I'm surprised

that you would

go for something like this.

After all, a rummage sale

is so...

Awesome? Sir, I totally agree.

But do you know what would be

even more awesome?

Macdonald Hall Sturgeon Memorial

Aquatic Facility and Pool-adium.

Pooladium.

You listen to me

very carefully.

Number one, I'm not dead yet.

Number two, I--

Wait, wait.

Do you find something really

funny about this, Hartley?

So this is all for a pool?

Yeah!

Oh. And how many rummage sales

do you think that will take?

That's actually a very good

question, sir. We've done

the math, with Elmer,

and he said,

you know, if we have one every

other day, maybe every day

in June--

Ohh.

You know what, Hartley?

I'd worry less about how

we're going to get our pool

and more about how

you're going to deal with us

at the next swim meet.

Oh, I look forward to it,

Sturgeon.

Gentlemen, gentlemen. This is

a friendly rummage sale.

You know, sir, there are some

very nice CDs over there

and you know, there's

a weightlifting set here

that you can't afford not

to buy, sir. It's quite nice.

If you like that stand,

here's another deal...

It is killer.

I don't know how I'm

going to, like, carry it.

A genuine hand-built

medieval rodent catcher,

ladies and gentlemen.

But that's not all.

It also makes

an excellent juicer.

So, uh, you made this, huh?

I don't suppose

you could, uh, maybe

make us a pool

for us to train in, huh?

Yeah.

But, um, maybe

I can help with some

training equipment.

Really?

I might have some ideas.

That would be great. Uh...

You know, I guess it would have

to be on dry land, though,

'cause you can't put

training wheels on water.

I'll catch you around.

William. Do you know what

I see when I look at all this?

Chaos?

Inspiration.

Do you know that your boys

and my girls planned this

all by themselves?

No fear, no worries--

No parking, no oversight,

inadequate toilet facilities...

Oh, you. Really. What's the

worst that could happen?

Let's wait and see, shall we?

There's no need,

I already did.

And it's remarkable.

Fifty, 60, 70.

Doing the rat catchers and all

the other stuff we brought in,

tell me if we didn't bring in

the most money so far.

Yeah. You know,

not bad, but, um...

not the best. Tell you what.

The top fundraiser

at the end of this

gets bragging rights.

And the first swim in the pool.

Plus their name on it.

The Cathy Burton Macdonald Hall

Sturgeon Memorial

Aquatic Facility and Pooladium.

Has a nice ring to it,

don't you think?

Game on.

$2718.19.

Oh, yeah!

Wilbur, with all those fire

extinguishers that you sold,

man, you put us,

like, way over the top.

Yeah, but Chris's signs

told everybody where to go.

And after today, we have...

3.30125 percent

of the required funds.

And that's less

than what we need?

So what? That's like, what...

...30 more rummage sales?

No problem, guys!

What do you think, Boots?

Guys.

This is not good.

And if they try

to take her girls,

remember:
no mercy, no quarter!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

What is the meaning

of this nonsense?

Oh, hey, Headmaster Sturgeon.

Nice to see you.

Sorry to disturb,

but our beloved leader

has been falsely accused!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

Backup, Joe.

These kittens have claws,

but they-- Ah! No!

Yes, girls. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Send backup immediately.

Full riot gear.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

And Bruno's fault.

Yeah, well, I'm not sure,

but... probably.

Officers,

what could the charges

against Ms. Scrimmage

possibly be?

Armed robbery, for one.

Armed robbery?!

Yep. Someone held up

the Fast Mart.

With this.

That could belong to anyone.

"Property of Eugenia

Scrimmage."

William.

Tell them it wasn't me.

Officers, just curious.

If she were to be arrested,

how long would

she be away for, exactly?

I can hear you!

Yes. Goodbye.

Uh... Burton.

An actual dinosaur

backscratcher.

But that's not all.

Buy this now

and we'll throw in

those bags you got there.

Oh, yeah, we donated that.

Maybe that should have

tipped us off,

when he left without paying.

Really? That's what would

have tipped you off?

Officers,

I should also say

that I had the privilege

of Ms. Scrimmage's company

for the entire afternoon,

so she couldn't possibly be

your robber.

Okay. She can go.

Thanks, Headmaster.

Well done.

Well, all is well,

blah, blah,

blah, blah. Let's go to bed.

Yeah.

Not so fast, boys.

You know, a rummage sale usually

implies the sale of items

belonging to the seller. Hmm?

That would not include every

brass doorknob in the school,

the gym program's weight set,

or my chair!

Yeah, sir, but every penny we

make is going towards the pool.

We're saving the Hall.

Walton, you can't save the

school by selling the school.

Okay, yeah, but that's--

Okay, now you see, that--

Ah, actually,

that's a really good point.

Mr. Sturgeon, maybe

we went a bit too far.

But we were just trying to

follow your advice.

Make something that lasts?

This pool will last.

And we're just getting

started. See this?

Boys, I am still headmaster

of this institution, correct?

When there's a meeting,

I chair them.

When there's an exam,

I examine them.

When the grass is cut, I...

I don't normally cut the grass,

but those are the rules.

Now I know you had good

intentions, but I'd like

to point out a great deal of

harm can be caused

by people with good intentions.

Gotcha.

But, um...

can we keep fundraising?

You will tell me about

everything, okay?

I will keep the money safe here.

But for now...

yes.

Thank you, sir.

We're going to make this happen

and you will see. And you know,

we're practically there.

2800 bucks.

So... we're just gonna

steal their stuff?

It's not stealing. York buys

all-new equipment every year.

It's literally garbage.

Oh. Well, when you

put it like that...

I kind of feel

even worse about it.

I don't have to

help you with this.

I'm a Scrimmage girl,

you're a Hall boy.

We're from two different worlds.

Different universes.

We're across the road.

It's a wide road.

Okay, so...

why are you helping me, then?

That's my business.

Your business

is making up your mind.

Are you in or out?

All right.

So she's like, "Wow, Chip.

It's like you have

a double six pack."

And I'm like,

"Yeah. It's a ten pack."

Well, well, well. Come to see

what a real winner looks like,

swimmer boy?

Oh, yeah, Chip.

You know, I can't

imagine how you do it.

Well, we're mostly

on a protein diet. Eggs,

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