Bruno Page #7

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for the host of the brand-new TV show,

Straight Dave's Man Slammin' Maxout.

Give it up for Straight Dave!

Straight Dave. Straight Dave.

Are you ready for

some man-slamming action?

Who's ready for

an old-fashioned heterofest?

Are you 100% hetero like me?

Who out there is proud to be straight?

Let me hear you say straight pride.

-Straight pride.

-Straight pride.

Straight pride.

-Straight pride.

-Straight pride.

I am so straight

that when I bought my house,

the first thing I did

was brick up the back door.

You know why?

Because my a**hole's just for shitting.

Let me hear you say that.

-My a**hole's just for shitting.

-My a**hole's just for shitting.

It's great to have an evening

with straight people.

It's great not to have any fags here.

You're a f*ggot!

Who called me a f*ggot?

Whoever called me a f*ggot come up here,

and I'll beat your Arsch.

Who called Straight Dave a f*ggot?

Come up here.

Let him in.

Who wants to see me beat this fag's ass?

Who wants me to beat this...

F*** him up!

Get him, motherf***er!

Beat his f***ing ass!

Kick his ass!

F***ing fag!

-Homo! Queer fags!

-Motherfuckers!

Stop! Stop!

Get out of my town. You all are sick.

Tell him we don't have no faggots here

in Arkansas. Take that sh*t somewhere else.

You p*ssy-ass f*ggot motherf***er!

F*** that sh*t! F*** that sh*t!

F*** that sh*t! F*** that sh*t!

The footage went everywhere,

und Brno became ber famous.

As for Lutz,

we decided to get married in California.

But because of the law,

we had to be a bit inventive.

I feel this is the biggest step

you'll ever make in your lifetime.

-It's a very big moment.

-That's right.

Am I going to be able to meet her

before we actually start?

Sure.

I... I don't marry 2 men or 2 women.

If she's a man,

then how did it give birth to our son?

You gave birth to a little black child?

Yes.

When did you have the baby?

I don't even know why

I'm asking that question.

But even though marriage

was a nicht-nicht,

we weren't gonna let it get us down.

We were happy. We had each other.

And we had O.J. back,

although he did cost us a MacBook Pro.

Plus, ich was now so famous

that I was able to record

mein very own charity video.

I've written a song

that I hope is gonna

bring the world together

Put down your guns and bombs

and just make love forever

Okay, then.

He's come to heal the world

and make all nations calmer

I am the Austrian Jesus

He is the white Obama

He's the white Obama

War's just based on hate and fear

Stop fighting, North and South Korea

You're both basically Chinese

And he's Brno, dove of peace

Hey, yo, Brno, where the b*tches at?

You are Brno, dove of peace

You do it, fashion model

You got the cute hos

You are Brno, dove of peace

You know, I love black guys.

I'm a chocoholic.

Du bist Brno, dove of peace

Brno wants peace.

Either we gonna have peace,

or we gonna have motherfucking war.

I have a dream for the Third World

Clean water, food and teaching

In every village and every town

a place for anal bleaching

We need to rid the world of hunger

I'm like Bono, except much younger

He's only 19

Ich bin Brno, dove of peace

Hey, hey, he gay, he gay

Okay.

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