Bucky and the Squirrels Page #2

Okay, fine, it's Bullwinkle.

I'm sure a lot of people

confuse the two, so...

I don't.

No, one's a very tall moose,

one's a small...

Fine, great, everybody,

Rocky and the Squirrels!

It's Bucky, actually.

(applause)

- Girl 1:
Yay!

- Girl 2:
I love you, Bucky!

Well, here's a brand-new dance

that's makin' news

Ooh-wah-ooh

So come on, come on,

get your dancin' shoes

Ooh-wah-ooh

Move your hips

Twist and twirl

Grab your guy

Grab your girl

Shake your tail

We're gonna do the Squirrel

To the left, to the right,

You can do it all night

Do the squirrel

Move it back, move it forth,

to the south, to the north

Do the Squirrel

Groove to the rhythm,

let your feet get to it

Feel the beat,

anyone can do it

One, two, three,

come dance with me

And do the Squirrel

From Maine to California

They're Squirrelin'

in the street

Squirrelin' down

the avenue

Everywhere you go,

everyone you meet

Is gonna do

the Squirrel with you

To the left, to the right,

you can do it all night

Do the Squirrel

Move it back, move it forth,

to the south, to the north

Do the Squirrel

Groove to the rhythm,

let your feet get to it

Feel the beat,

anyone can do it

1, 2, 3,

come dance with me

And do the Squirrel

(scattered applause,

giggles, laughter)

(cheering, applause)

Sadly, as we know,

Bucky and the Squirrels

never completed

their ill-fated tour.

With more on the story,

live from downtown Appleton,

here's Barbara Harris.

Barbara?

Barbara Harris here

in front of Squirrel Mania,

a combination local retail

and local shrine

to Bucky and the Squirrels.

Let's look inside.

Grab your girl

Shake your tail...

Follow me, we're gonna try

to get an interview

with Mort Fishbeck,

the manager of the Squirrels.

(song continues)

Mr. Fishbeck.

Do the Squirrel

Mr. Fishbeck!

Move it back, move it forth,

to the south, to the north

Do the Squirrel

Are you crazy?

You scared the hell out of me.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

I practically wet myself.

You could have just

walked up and said,

"Excuse me,

Mr. Fishbeck."

I did.

Oh. So, what can I

do for you?

Would you mind turning

the music down?

Would you mind if I

turned the music down?

Hang on a second.

From Maine to California...

Too much loud rock-and-roll.

But I guess if it isn't loud,

it isn't rock-and-roll, is it?

Should have worn earplugs.

Reminds me, hang on a second.

Squirrel earplugs.

See? They're shaped

like peanuts, get it?

Squirrels, peanuts?

Wanna buy some?

Maybe later.

Half off.

Maybe later.

Mr. Fishbeck,

I'm sure you know

that the plane that was

carrying the Squirrels

was just found.

Yeah, it breaks my heart.

The thought of those kids

frozen for 50 years

like Popsicles.

You know, if you don't count my

brothers, Sid and Marty,

those boys were

the brothers I never had.

I was supposed to be

on the next plane.

I still have

all their instruments.

Got their clothes upstairs.

That's all I've got left.

Can you tell us about the first

time you heard the Squirrels?

Oh, awful.

Beyond awful.

Every song, note for note,

right off the sheet music.

It was like being trapped

in an elevator.

And it is my understanding

that in those days,

Bucky was

in the background.

Oh, he was so far

in the background,

he was in

a different zip code.

He was embarrassed because

of his buck teeth.

Could open up

a pop bottle with 'em.

Pop!

I said to him, "Shmuck!

Being different is

a good thing.

It makes you sound

different."

I said to him,

"You don't want to end up

like the Barlow Brothers,

do you?"

Who?

I rest my case.

Oh, and now we go to Steve

Schmidt for a news bulletin.

Barbara, I'm sorry to interrupt

this incredible interview,

but we've just received

an update from the crash site.

Here's Mitchell again

with that report.

Mitchell?

Mitchell:
Steve, uh, hold on.

The construction crew has just

dug the plane

out of the frozen tundra

and is prying

the cockpit doors open.

My God, I don't believe it.

Bucky and the Squirrels are

encased in ice in the cockpit,

and from what it looks like...

yes, this is really scary...

they're perfectly preserved

like mummies.

There's a lot of confusion

as paramedics have joined

the workers

and they're descending

on the crash site.

I'm not quite sure

what's going on.

While we wait on that update,

here's a sidebar.

British pilot Frank Fowler,

the captain that flew

the small chartered plane

carrying the Squirrels

to their concert,

panicked and parachuted

out of the plane.

He was discovered days later

by the monks at the monastery

of St. Benedict.

Out of a great sense of guilt,

Frank Fowler joined the order,

took the sacred vow of silence,

and has not spoken a word

for over 45 years.

Oh, just a minute.

I believe we have an update

from Mitchell.

Mitchell?

(indistinct shouting)

Mitchell:

Th-that's correct, Steve.

Experts in the field of cryonics

have just been contacted

and are unanimous

in their assessment.

If it is at all possible

to revive any of the Squirrels,

the shock of their awakening

in unfamiliar surroundings

could cause

irreparable psychic damage.

Consequently, it was decided

that they be airlifted

back to a facility

in their hometown

of Appleton, Wisconsin.

Uh, what you hear

in the background

is the arrival of four

CH-47F Chinook cargo

evac helicopters.

The ground crew has loaded

the entombed frozen bodies

into the aircrafts

and they've taken off,

a sight I'm sure

many of your viewers

will never forget.

(indistinct shouting)

Man:
Here in Appleton Cryonics,

we're fortunate in having

some of the world's

most sophisticated

defrosting equipment.

(bell dings)

Ice-cold.

But what's the surprise?

Everything in this place

is ice-cold.

I'm here with

Dr. Albert Fisher,

director of

Appleton Cryonics.

I'm sorry, doctor,

you were saying?

Uh... Oh, right.

The equipment here is

the finest anywhere.

Although, I must admit,

until, uh, now,

we haven't had

the opportunity

to actually try

any of it out.

And I just want

to make clear

that we did not

freeze the Squirrels.

If they don't,

you know, pull through

or end up taking

a dirt nap,

well,

we're not responsible.

I'm sorry,

do you mind my asking

what your

specialty is?

Oh, I don't think

that's important.

Well, I think our viewers would

probably like to know.

Uh, well, I'm not

an actual medical doctor.

Okay, then your

training is in...?

Something else.

And that would be...?

Uh...

motel management.

Really? Because I would

have thought it would be...

No, it's okay, a lot

of people make that mistake.

Yeah.

So, what is going on

in here?

Uh, uh, research.

On?

You know, scientific stuff.

I try not to get involved.

Uh, here, follow me.

Woman:
Dr. Winston, you're

wanted in Preservation Lab.

Dr. Winston, you're wanted

in Preservation Lab.

Anyone in the vicinity

of the Bio Lab,

please report to assistance.

Oh. One second.

Hmm.

Hah! Hmm.

Wait, that's what you call it,

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