Bucky and the Squirrels Page #3

"defrosting"?

When you come up with a better

name, let me know.

Oh, doctor, I've never seen

such elaborate equipment.

So...

what is this large,

complex-looking

electronic system

in the corner?

Oh, that's

our sound system.

When we're not using the

equipment to defrost people,

the room doubles

as a tanning salon.

Woman:
I can't believe what's happening

here! You must come and see!

- Man 1:
Tissue regeneration...

- Man 2:
The vitals aren't normal.

Well, I'll be damned.

(frantic,

overlapping comments)

L-ladies and gentlemen,

what you are witnessing

is truly

groundbreaking.

This is

a scientific first!

(alarm wailing)

Whoa, what's that?

Oh, that's lunch.

What's today, Wednesday?

Ugh! Split pea soup.

Ugggh!

(alarms beeping)

I'm here in the recovery room

of Appleton Cryonics,

where, miraculously,

all four of the Squirrels

were resuscitated two days ago.

Appleton Cryonics has given us

permission to film here

and record the event

while they document the recovery

of the Squirrels, for research

and insurance purposes.

Let's go to the Squirrels.

(burp)

Good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

(clears throat)

Good morning.

Can you say good morning?

(Squirrels murmuring)

This is Dr. Adams.

She's our staff

psychologist.

(Squirrels mumbling)

I will leave you

in her capable hands.

(whispering)

Don't leave me.

No, it's okay.

You'll be fine.

(Squirrel burps)

Okay.

(belch)

Adams:
We all have

a lot of work to do.

You're going

to have to learn...

or rather relearn...

to eat,

to talk, to walk.

(belch)

(sighs)

So...

(gurgling,

belching)

(jazz theme song plays)

Back in the '60s, the Squirrels

were unquestionably the most

talented rock group ever.

Of course, next to the Beatles.

Which would naturally

make the Squirrels

the second most talented

rock group ever.

Sorry, I take that back,

the Rolling Stones

were around in the '60s.

Which would make the Squirrels

the third most talented

rock group ever.

The Beatles, the Rolling Stones,

and the Squirrels.

Then again, who can forget

the Beach Boys?

Apparently, I did,

and I'm not gonna do that.

Because when I think about it,

I also forgot the Kinks,

uh, Aerosmith and The Who.

But still there's

absolutely no doubt

that during the '60s,

the Squirrels were clearly,

if not in the top 10, then,

minimum, in the top 15.

If you don't count

Jefferson Airplane

and Led Zeppelin.

And I think you

have to count them.

Uh...

Think you also have to count

the Temptations.

And the Miracles.

And the Four Tops.

Uh...

Dion & the Belmonts

and the Mamas and the Papas.

So, just to be safe,

let's say the Squirrels

were unquestionably

in the top 20.

Let's be safer,

let's make it top 30.

Or 35.

Or... 40.

Because now that I think

about it,

there was really a number

of great groups in the '60s.

The Four Tops, the Shirelles,

the Doors,

Martha and the Vandellas.

Simon and Garfunkel.

Cream.

Jan and Dean.

The Everly Brothers.

Frank Zappa

and the Mothers of Invention.

Creedence Clearwater Revival.

The Lovin' Spoonful.

Gladys Knight and the Pips.

Gladys Knight without the Pips.

The Pips without Gladys Knight.

Then there were the Doors.

Sly and the Family Stone.

The Shangri-Las...

that's 456, 7 and 8.

So...

It's just to say,

while the Squirrels were good,

they only had one hit, and...

Now that I think about it,

they only had one song,

which means that either

the back of their record was...

totally blank or it just had

"Do the Squirrel" on both sides.

To be honest,

I barely remember the song.

I'm not sure

I ever really heard it.

I was about 9 when it came out.

And... that was like

50 years ago.

And it was only on the charts

for a couple of weeks.

It's not like it was a classic.

I'm guessing, if the Squirrels

hadn't been frozen

and defrosted...

nobody would be making

a documentary about them.

Do I still get paid for this?

(sighing, mumbling)

Ahhh.

Yaaa.

(straining)

Peekaboo!

(snorting)

Steve Schmidt here at Appleton

Cryonics with...

Joyceann Miller.

So tell our viewers,

Joyce,

what exactly is it

that you do here?

It's Joyceann.

Oh, sorry.

Joyce-Ann,

please tell us

what it is that

you do here.

Joyceann.

Joyceann.

It's all one name.

My mother had a hard time

deciding on names.

Everybody

gets it wrong at first.

It's the same deal with

my brother, Bobdave.

Okay, well,

Joyceann...

what exactly is it

that you do here?

Nothing yet.

I'm just starting.

But I was teaching

movement and music

at the Baby Badgers

Preschool over on...

Both:
College Avenue.

That's where Dr. Fisher's

granddaughter goes.

And he called me up one day

and offered me a job

making three times

what I had been making,

so I said, yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

So, what did Dr. Fisher

say the job would be?

So, he said

it would be doing

pretty much what I had

been doing,

but I'd just be working now

with giant toddlers.

Steve Schmidt,

ANC News.

Boys, are you ready?

(Squirrels

murmuring agreement)

Go!

(rock-and-roll plays)

Okay, come on.

Oh-wo-wo.

Yes!

Oh, we got

a leader here.

Anyone gonna

beat him?

Without running.

Use your feet.

Use your feet!

Congratulations.

Enjoy your treat.

Everybody congratulate

your friend.

No grabbing!

No, no, no, no.

All right, give that

back to him.

That was his win!

Bucky, no!

Bucky! Back to him!

Hey, Bucky, I'm not kidding.

Back! Open! Open!

Here you go.

You did that fair and square.

(Randy howls)

That's right, that's...

Come on.

Come on, there you go.

Come on.

Easy.

Pretty, huh?

I'm going to have to...

Ooh! come on, Bucky.

Come on, this way.

There you go.

On the path, guys.

On the path.

On the path.

There we go!

(Squirrels mumbling)

There you go! Okay.

Yes, that's right,

this way.

Come on, up we go.

Come on.

We've got

a situation here.

All right, everybody stay.

Stay!

Stay, stay!

Stay, Bucky, stay.

Stay.

Everybody like this.

Look.

That's good.

(Squirrels laughing)

We got it.

There we go!

Well done.

Whoops, stay.

Hold on.

We got a leash off.

Hold it, stay there, guys!

I got it, I got it.

Hold it, hold it.

Well done.

Bucky! Stay!

No bench.

Walking time.

Walking time.

(Squirrels laughing)

This way, come on.

Freeze, everybody!

Bucky, stop!

Stay!

Squirrels singing off-key:

She'll be

Comin' 'round the mountain

when she comes

Smile!

- 'Round the mountain...

- She'll be comin'

But sing!

- When she comes

- Yee-ha!

Good!

She'll be comin'

'round the mountain

She'll be comin'

'round the mountain

She'll be comin'

'round the mountain

When she comes

Mountain, mountain.

Fountain, fountain.

Joyceann:

She'll be ridin'...

What's the problem?

- Mountain.

- Fountain

- Mmmountain.

- Fountain

Not a fountain,

a mountain.

Not a hountain,

a mountain.

'Cause she's going

over a big mountain.

She'll be comin'

'round the mountain

That's why it's

so exciting, right,

because she's coming around,

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