Bucky and the Squirrels Page #4

and what does she have with her?

Mound.

She's a big mountain.

No, she's not the mountain.

She's going around...

She's a big mountain.

She ba... walking...

Yeah! Or riding.

It depends which verse

you want to do.

Walking.

She'll be walking

'round the mountain?

- Mountain.

- Okay.

All:
She'll be walkin'

'round the mountain

We can do it slow.

...she comes

She'll be walkin' 'round

the mountain

When she comes

Yee-ha!

Yee-ha!

She'll be...

Yee-ha!

'Comin 'round

the mountain

Yeeeee...

ha!

(slams keys)

Fellas!

(dance music plays)

Remember to breathe, everybody.

You're doing great.

Keep going.

Forward, forward march.

Very nice.

Where is Bucky?

Good job, guys.

Bucky, you're supposed

to be exercising, honey.

You're supposed to be

moving your body now.

And where did you get that?

Mr. Fisher's lunch.

Oh, hold on.

Guys. That's 25 minutes.

You can stop now, stop walking.

(music continues)

(Squirrels screaming)

Oh, no, no, no,

my fault, my fault!

You gotta keep walking

until the machine stops.

(groaning)

The treadmill

is still on.

Bucky:
Keep going.

Joyceann:
No, no, no.

No, I'm stopping it.

Bucky:
Oh, no, no!

Stopping! Stop, it's stopped.

The machine stopped.

Machine stopped.

Stop! Everybody stop.

Good workout.

I'm here with

Dr. Laura Adams,

chief staff

psychologist here

at Appleton Cryonics.

I'd like to begin by

asking you your name

and what your

position is here.

Didn't you just say it?

Oh, yes, I did.

So...

we'll just move on.

What about your

background and work

here at

Appleton Cryonics?

What about it?

Would you tell us

about it?

Oh, of course.

I have a doctorate

in psychology,

specializing in the field

of biopsychology,

and for the past five years,

I've been doing

theoretical research,

specifically,

on what the psychological

ramifications might be

if someone were to be

resuscitated

after years of being

artificially frozen.

And?

And?

And what are

the ramifications?

Oh, um, at this point,

we basically don't know.

S...

So, would you say that

at this point,

you basically

don't know?

That's what I just said.

(whispering)

Oh, boy.

Okay, there

you have it.

Steve Schmidt,

ANC News.

Okay, so now what we're going to

do is, I'm going to say a word

and I want you to say the first

word that comes to your mind.

Okay?

Dog.

Underpants.

Cat.

Weiner.

Day.

Spoon.

Hot.

Mon... key.

Black.

Book.

Light.

Bulb.

Happy.

Birth... day cake.

Okay.

Tall.

Water.

Tall

Water.

Tall...

Wa... ter.

Thirsty.

Water?

Oh, sorry, sure.

Here you go.

Got it? Okay.

(chuckles)

Better?

Homes and gardens.

Yes!

Terday.

Terday?

Yes.

Terday.

All...

my...

troubles...

seemed so...

far away.

Beatles.

Adams:
Very good.

Very good.

(sneezes)

You know, the Squirrels really

affected me in a big way.

I first heard

the Squirrels song,

uh, in an elevator,

uh, going up to the, uh...

to one of several doctor's

appointments that I had.

And, uh...

I was feeling pretty good

until the song came on,

and I looked

around the elevator,

and everyone started doing

this dance, the Squirrel dance,

and, uh, I was so shaken by it,

I pissed in my pants.

I wore black after I heard

the song the first time.

I was a happy guy.

But when I heard that song

and realized

how stupid society is

and how they go after

such crap...

I mean, they turned my

whole life around in a bad way

in college

when I heard that song.

I got deeply depressed,

and I was basically mourning

for myself for even appreciating

that song.

I... I blame them

for all the hundreds

of thousands of dollars

that I spent on psychotherapy.

It just triggered something

in me, and now they're back.

I'm sorry for rambling because

the Squirrels have gotten me...

I'm only doing this because

I need some closure

in my life now

with this group.

So, you know, I'm very upset.

I'm going to need a little rest

after this interview,

to be honest.

Dr. Adams is about to enter

the next crucial stage

of the Squirrels' counseling

when she reveals to them

the full extent

of what has happened to them.

My producers tell me we're

about to go live right now.

Yes, we are.

We now cut live

to Dr. Adams' office

right n...

now!

First of all,

you have each

improved greatly.

You've regained much

of your ability to talk

and to walk.

Your cognitive speech patterns

and coordination

have all improved

greatly.

Well done, everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're

quite welcome.

So are you.

So, I think it's time

to explain something to you,

why we have kept you

separated

from the rest

of the outside world.

It was to be certain

that you had the tools

to...

understand, react to,

and psychologically deal

with what I'm about

to tell you.

Uh-oh.

Why uh-oh?

Bucky's worried,

that's why uh-oh.

Well, I'm not worried.

Well, I am.

Well, I'm not.

Well, I am.

Adams:

Okay, boys.

I'm not.

But I am.

Adams:
Boys,

focus, please.

- I'm not.

- But I...

Adams:

I know.

I need to caution you that,

at first,

this may be very difficult

for you to understand

and accept.

Okay, now I'm worried.

I am, too.

When your plane crashed

and you were buried

in the snow,

it wasn't, as you believe,

for a relatively

short time.

It was longer.

Longer?

It was longer?

Adams:

Yes, longer.

How much longer?

Like a couple

of days longer?

Much longer.

Much longer?

Was it a week lon...

It was

longer than a week?

Adams:

It wasn't a week.

It was longer.

It was...

It was actually...

for almost 50 years.

(chuckles)

No. Seriously.

Adams:

Seriously.

No. Seriously.

Adams:
Yeah, really,

really seriously.

- Seri...

- Like...

Seri...

Seriously?

Adams:

Seriously.

Like, three weeks?

No, Bucky.

50 years.

(symphonic soundtrack swells)

50 years?

50 years.

50 years.

50 years.

The shock that the Squirrels

had virtually been

in a state

of suspended animation

for the last near half-century

finally registered with them.

Dr. Adams

has spent the last week

giving them a crash course

in the last 50 years

of cultural history.

Woman, whispering:

This just came in.

This just in.

The pilot of the Squirrels'

downed aircraft,

90-year-old

Captain Frank Fowler...

now Father Fowler...

has just learned that

the Squirrels didn't perish,

but were all found alive.

Now, if you recall,

Father Fowler,

out of guilt for parachuting

from the plane,

joined a monastic order,

took a sacred vow of silence,

and has not spoken

in nearly 50 years.

Upon learning the news,

the shock apparently caught

the father off guard.

He blurted out "holy sh*t"

and was promptly excommunicated.

Uh, I would like to apologize

to the viewers at home

for my language.

I just was...

handed this report

directly off the wire.

Did not have a chance

to proof it.

I, of course, would never

have intentionally

said "sh*t" on the air.

(whispering)

Sh*t.

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