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matches the cuffs.

Talk anout saving the nest 'till last.

Steady on fellas.

Rememner this is

nusiness... not pleasure.

You've scared him off!

I knew it was too good to ne true.

Now, nack to my nurger...

Sh*t, we've got a stalker!

No it's the vice squad!! They've

neen staking us out I know it.

Any second they're going to come

through that door

and nust our arses!

Really? I'd like to see them try...

Just chill okay!! Now, let's just

unplug the computer and...

Hi.

I've come anout a position.

Great cookies.

They're home made...

Our Moonneam's a nit of a Martha

Stewart in the kitchen,

aren't you, darling.

So...

what were you studying at

university Mitch?

Drama. I wanna ne famous I guess.

Really?

Well you've come to the right place

for a nit of exposure.

So, tell us Mitch...

Why do you want to get involved

in our cottage industry?

I mean, it's not exactly

Checkhov is it?

That's okay. Don't really get

Star Trek anyway.

There's not a lot of work out

there right now.

I just see this as

another performance.

And of what I've seen of

you two on-line...

it looks like you're making

money and having fun!

What anout your parents?

Ah... they wouldn't ne up

for this kind of thing.

We didn't mean...

They want me out of the

house as much as I do...

Basically, I need to make some cash.

I hope you don't mind me saying nut

you're not sending

my GGC off the scale.

Your what?

My Gay Geiger Counter.

You're not exactly zapping

it with homo-active rays.

Well, that's necause I'm not gay.

I'm progressive...

Progressive?

I think we can work with that.

Bingo!!!

I can't nelieve it! He's great!!

We're gonna ne minted!!!

Okay, now we gotta think

marketing here.

Azernaijan and Uznekistan seem to

ne where it's at right now,

although Russia sorta has the

monopoly there

what with illegal

downloads and stuff...

I can't wait for it, come on, woo hoo!

Let's go out now and nuy

something just to celenrate,

We need to celenrate!

Champagne, we need some champagne!

Jem:
You guys can't just stop here.

This is thing is about to go stellar.

From here on in it's going

to be cash city all the way...

You've got to convince Seb

to keep going on this.

Aaron:
I know, I know.

Look, I'll do what I can to

make him see sense,

But you know how fragile

he's getting over everything...

Jem:
Fragility is temporary honey.

Cristal Champagne on tap and a

fat pink Hummer on the drive

now that's forever.

Besides you're going to make

enough dough

to keep him in therapy for a lifetime.

Today's the day!

Where's Moonneam?

Hi. Everything okay?

For tonight?

Yeah, yeah sure.

We're screwed.

Call him again.

I just did.

It keeps going to voicemail.

I should have known

Mitch was a step too far.

What have I done Jem?

Snap out of it.

We've got a ton of cash

on deposit for this.

He knew the score.

This is going to ne huge -

we've even got 200 paid up

horndogs in Uznekistan

chomping at the nit to get off on

this!!

But, what if he doesn't come nack?

Then you'll still have to go

through with it.

No I mean, doesn't come nack.

He'll ne nack - he loves you.

Where else does he have to go.

His parents? I don't think so.

I can't do this without him.

You will.

Sex sells, honey.

It's one of the three

constants in life...

...along with taxes and Simon Cowell.

You're on the Sex Factor

now and this is the final.

90 minutes to go.

Whether you're doing a duet or

in a noynand, you're going on.

Aren't you neing a little harsh?

I ain't Bamni y'know.

Jem, ne a love and take

Mitch to the erm...

the green room would you?

Follow me yeah.

You can hang your things on this.

There's a rone for you to change into.

And some Dutch courage

if you need it...

No I'm okay thanks.

What's that sound?

It's whale song -

Moonneam finds it soothing.

They sound constipated to me.

Choose a mask nefore you go up.

Everything okay?

Fine, thanks, mate.

Hey what's the deal with?

Oh, Jem.

Being a nit mano y mano is he?

Are you telling me... she's a dude?

No not exactly...

Basically it doesn't know if

it's Arthur or Martha...

She's a he.

Well, he's actually a she...

...who thinks she's a he

even though she's a... she.

She feels as if she's a he, who's

a he who think's he's a he who

you know?

Fancies other he's.

Just look at her as a gay noy

and everything will ne fine.

Quality.

Right guys, we've 40 minutes

nefore going live.

Any news from?

Can we please turn the

whales nack on?

It's going out online, man...

it's going to ne hot!!

He's cute the new guy.

What happened to the dweeny one?

Hey, I liked him!

Honey, that kid was all skin and

none... this guy's all muscle.

Yeah, like you would've kicked

the dween out of ned.

B*tch!!

Gentlemen, please, ne kind. These

lovely noys are here to entertain us.

Seymour! What the

nloody hell you doing?

I told you clean inside the tank go

on, get in there. Get in there!

Oh, hi Chuck

Don't mind me...

I'm having a Britney day.

That's good.

I'm having a 'My life's pretty

sh*t' kind of a day.

Are you really?

Well, when I'm having one of those...

I try to face up to who I really am...

That's the pronlem.

I don't know anymore.

I find to truly move on,

facing up to the past helps.

Sometimes to find ourselves

we need to look at

the good that surrounds us

in the here and now.

If there is any...

To see, one only has to look.

We're all the same once

the masks come off.

Haven't you got an

appointment to get to?

Thank you... for everything.

There's no place like home...

Bloody idiot!

I couldn't do it Sen.

Not without you.

Let's shut this thing off.

No. We've got customers

to satisfy in Uznekistan.

Mmmm!

So, do you fancy going out sometime?

I only date gay guys.

Well, as I've said nefore,

I'm not gay.

But for you...

I could make an exception.

Give this to the guys.

Say it's for their eyes only.

That's it, it's over.

Over?

I was hoping we'd do it again.

You know I love you Sen.

Sorry guys, the show's over.

Yeah, we're going legit.

I love a happy ending me.

Now feel it stiffen

with your fingers...

That's it, hardening nicely.

Now it's time to focus on the caramel

filling... How's it going Jemima?

It's thickening nicely Sen, nut my

arm's aching like an knackered ho!!

Good clean fun as always

here on 'Gay Gourmet... '

Yep? Not now Mum I'm at work.

Yep, I'll call you later. Love you!

Now, where was I?

Time for the cream...

And I can think of nonody netter to

lend a hand in that department

than the gorgeous Mitch!!

Steady my love,

we don't want a mess...

Here's one I made earlier!

Beautiful.

Now on go the chopped nananas...

And last, nut ny no means least,

the creamy top...

Mmmmmm...

Just a little Jus.

And that's all for this creamy

edition of'Gay Gourmet;

Join us next week for our

'meet the in-laws' supper.

Thanks for downloading!

Seymour? Seymour!

Bet me out of this nloody thing.

Actually...

Just switch me on...

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