Bulletproof Monk Page #2

Because you stole from me.

Oh, yeah. That.

But your fighting is very impressive.

Where do you study?

Golden Palace.

Golden Palace?

You studied with the venerable

fighting monks of Jinn Gong?

Whatever, man.

Look, it's been really great spending

more quality time with you and all that,

but I gotta run, okay?

Sorry about stealing

your whatever the hell that is.

Good luck with that enlightenment stuff.

The most undisciplined youth

I have ever laid eyes on.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Not so fast.

Not so fast?

I've been trying to get down with you

for a bloody long right time,

and every time

we're about to go all the way

you up and run out on me.

Nobody knows where you go,

what you do.

No one knows anything about you.

You know I'm worth waiting for.

Sorry, baby. You're on my list,

but you're not at the top.

What?

Piss off, you little tart.

I'm finished with you.

Hey, girl. Where's your necklace?

Oh, sh*t.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

Hey, sh*t! Come on! Let's go!

Relax, folks. Enjoy the intermission.

We have warm soda, stale popcorn,

and dried seaweed snacks

at the concession.

MAN:
Hey, dickweed! Fix it!

I'm on it. I'm on it.

You missed the reel change.

Anybody asks for their money back,

I'm adding it to your rent.

They already saw half of it.

And I'm through taking your messages!

My name is Kojima,

not Sony, Sanyo, Toshiba.

Whoever heard of a Japanese guy

owning a Chinese movie theater anyway?

(EXCLAIMING) I heard that, you smart-ass!

(CHUCKLING)

You have two choices, Kar.

You can sit on your butt and do nothing

or fly like a phoenix from

the ashes of your pathetic life.

I'm flying. I'm flying!

People, relax.

MAN:
Come on, projection boy!

Hey, I'm tired of the white screen!

Give me some color here! Hey!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(WHISTLING)

So, this is the Golden Palace

where you learn how to fight.

What the hell are you doing here?

I should have known

from your sloppy technique.

This is my place, okay?

Get out right now.

An enlightened man would offer

a humble traveler shelter for the night

and share a quiet conversation

over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

Really?

Well, I guess I ain't that enlightened.

'Cause I was thinking more

of kicking your freaky ass

back to wherever the hell it comes from.

For someone who says

he wants to kick my freaky ass,

you do a lot of talking.

Really?

Well,

I warned you, old man.

(EXCLAIMS)

Got a little quickness in you, don't you?

Okay. Fine.

Guess I can't make you get out.

I overheard people calling you car.

Spelled with a K. It's Cantonese.

Funny. You don't look Cantonese.

It means family, okay?

I figure I never had one growing up,

but from now on I'll never be without it.

I'm afraid you are mispronouncing

your name, sir.

It should sound more like ga.

Look, it's my name, okay?

I'll pronounce it however I want.

What about you? What's your name?

I don't have one.

What do you mean?

You gave yourself a name. I gave mine up.

Hey, what are you doing?

Put that down. Come on.

All right. This is a Rolex.

You don't touch that.

I know.

So,

why did you steal the girl's necklace?

I didn't steal it.

I just I borrowed it.

Look, I think she's into me.

I mean, I know she's into me.

So, I'm gonna return her lost necklace,

thereby making her

instantly indebted to me

and placing me

instantly in her good graces.

Deeply in her good graces.

It's foolproof.

Except for one fool, which would be you.

If she realizes what you did,

your entire plan will backfire.

(GRUNTS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're sleeping in my bed?

It is quite comfortable, thank you.

You're absolutely crazy.

You eat my food. You sleep in my bed.

That's great.

You can at least tell me

why those guys were chasing you.

All right.

Let me put it in language

you will understand.

Okay.

Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10,

while hot dog buns

come in packages of just eight?

(EXCLAIMS)

What the hell is that?

You can't answer my question

with another question,

especially one as stupid as that.

When you attain a state of enlightenment

that allows you to answer my question,

I will answer yours.

Good night.

What?

NINA:
Ladies and gentlemen.

As the newly-appointed executive director

of the Human Rights Organization,

I would like to welcome you all here today.

Please, pardon our appearance.

As you can see,

we're still under construction.

But we wanted you,

our most generous supporters,

to have a preview of our new exhibit.

You see, out of the rubble that was Europe

at the end of World War II,

men and women of good will,

people like yourselves,

decided to build an organization dedicated

to the prevention of human rights abuses

all around the Earth.

And today I am here to tell you

we failed.

Thanks to all of you

and many others like you,

we are able to continue this fight.

This fight against hate,

violence, oppression, and cruelty

in all its forms.

Excuse me?

Yes?

Do you ever worry that some of the people

that come here may be inspired?

I hope each and every person

who comes here will be inspired.

I mean, inspired to do it again.

Oh.

Well, granted. There are an awful lot

of sick people in this world.

But, thankfully, most of them

don't attend our functions.

I have an idea.

How about instead of showing atrocity,

you do an exhibit that shows

man's humanity towards man?

You don't help anyone

by shielding them from reality.

Tell me.

Deep down inside,

in the very bottom of your soul,

who would you choose to be?

The one about to be shot

or the one about to do the shooting?

I really must go. It's been a pleasure.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's going on?

The event was quite successful.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Have you found it?

Yes. Now,

unfortunately, we also lost it.

I am surrounded by weakness and failure.

No. That was before.

Now I'm here.

You are surrounded

by respect, admiration,

and love.

We'll find the scroll.

It's only a matter of time.

Time

is the one thing I'm running out of.

For 60 years,

I have been chasing the scroll.

It holds the power to rejuvenate me,

to make me young again,

and to finally cleanse the world

of all inferior races,

as it should have been cleansed

all those years ago.

That's the power

you let slip through your fingers, Nina.

I have men combing the city

as we speak, Opa.

Here you go. All right. Who's next?

WOMAN:
Plain with mustard, please.

Okay.

All right. Coming right up, ma'am.

Hey! Watch it.

Excuse me, sir!

I believe you dropped this.

Thank you. Thank you.

You're welcome.

What the hell was that?

Sleight of hand.

I thought I was through with you.

Now you show up again

and you're picking my pocket?

The pocket was yours,

but not what I picked.

Don't you have anything better to do

than follow me around

and screw up my attempts

to make a little extra cash?

Here you go.

Thanks, man.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa.

What? You got something

against hot dogs now?

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