Bullets Over Broadway Page #3

- Olive, ah, your--

well, your experience?

- I love the play.

- Well, I, uh--

- Oh, she ain't got no experience.

- I do too. I have too.

- She's a natural.

- I have experience.

- They ain't talkin' dancin', Olive.

- He doesn't know

what he's talkin' about.

- You don't mean dancin', do you?

She used to wiggle at this joint

in Hoboken. Pick up quarters

off the tabletops with her--

- Hey! Butt out, why don't ya!

They're talkin' to me!

- I'm tryin' to break the ice.

- Who wants a drink?

- I'll have a double anything. Be great.

- [ Marx ] No, I have an ulcer.

- Venus, a double whiskey.

- Make it two, Venus.

- Do you want the blue

stuff or the green?

- The imported, dummy.

- Oh, you mean from the clean bathtub.

Mm-hmm.

- So you never acted before?

- Honey, honey. Yes, I have acted.

I have acted. I've acted a lot.

I was in a musical revue.

Can you light this for me?

Geez. No manners.

No gentleman.

Yeah, I did a musical revue

in Wichita.

Maybe you heard of it. It was called

Leave A Specimen. I had two songs.

- [ Phone Ringing ]

- Two numbers. Two thrilling,

show-stopping numbers.

I'm actually feeling

a little sick, really.

I'm actually feeling a little faint.

Can we sit down?

So, one thing I was wonderin'

is who's gonna be playing

the part of Sylvia Poston?

[ Chuckles ]

Only Helen Sinclair.

Helen Sinclair? [ Laughs ]

I never heard of her.

- Uh, you follow the theater?

- What are you trying to insinuate?

Hey, don't

gimme that sh*t!

You tell Masucci he don't play

ball, I'll come down there,

I'll chop his f***in' legs off!

Don't you pay any attention to Nick.

He's in one of his depressed moods.

I'll cut his throat. I'll come

down there, I'll pull his guts

out through his windpipe!

- Ya hear me?

- What'd ya do? Walk up?

- No!

- You're sweating like a pig.

- I have a bit of a blood sugar

situation now and again.

- Blood sugar?

- What is that?

- Olive, you-- you like the play?

- Mmm. It's sad.

- Well, it's a tragedy.

I'll say, but I got some ideas

how we can goose it up.

- Ideas?

- Mm-hmm. I go to

the movies all the time.

- I got a million clever ideas.

- You burn it down, Cheech!

Burn it down, I said.

- I want it to look like arson!

- I got a crick.

- When?

- A crick?

Everything's tight.

I think maybe we should go.

Oh, no, no, no.

Don't go.

Hey, Venus, let's go

with that hooch!

Uh, uh, Olive, when did you

get interested in acting?

Hey, listen, you think

I came to this town to swing

it around in a chorus line?

Tits and ass. Tits and ass.

That's all they care about. Thank you.

Hey, didn't I tell you

to make "horse durves"?

I don't make nothin' out of horses,

especially "horse durves..."

'cause I don't know what

they are, and neither do you!

Oh, ain't you the big mouth

since you hit your number.

- And I said the imported stuff.

- The imported stuff ate through

the bottle. It's gone !

A likely story. It's very hard

to get good help these days.

- Sorry you guys had to hear that.

- I'm feeling fairly dizzy.

- Some problems with the firm.

- Really? What type of firm is it, Nick?

- [ Chuckles ]

- It's a "don't stick your nose in

other people's business...

- and it won't get broken type of firm.

- Yeah.

- [ Panting ] I see, I see. Thank you.

- That's what kind of firm.

I'm feeling a bit unstable.

I think maybe I'll go...

and check into a sanitarium

and get the help that I need.

- And we'll talk later because

it's been good. Hasn't it, Julian?

- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

- It's been good.

- This is gonna be

a big event on Broadway.

- Thank you.

Absolutely not!

No!

- You'll work with her, mold her.

It'll be a challenge.

- Out of the question!

She'll win an award. It'll be a great

show business anecdote.

- It will not happen!

- A tribute to you as a director.

You use your actors like clay.

Julian, have you lost

all reason?

Do you believe that that woman

could play a psychiatrist?

That woman? That thing?

- Her voice, her grasp.

- All right.

- She's the woman who picks

quarters off tabletops with--

- Let me level with you.

This is a dog-eat-dog world,

not an ideal world.

If you wanna get your play on, you're

gonna have to make a few concessions.

Life is not perfect.

Plus, it is short.

If you can't figure that out,

you might as well pack up right

now and go back to Pittsburgh.

- [ David Screaming ]

I sold out! I sold out.

- [ Ellen Gasping ]

- I sold out.

- David.

[ Panting ]

- [ Gasps ]

- What's wrong?

- [ Screaming ] I'm a whore!

- Oh, my God!

- I'm a prostitute! I'm a whore!

- David, pull yourself together.

- They'll call the police.

- [ Panting ]

David. Oh, my God!

You look horrible.

Oh, I feel sick.

Please, you'll wake the Finkelsteins.

You want an aspirin?

- David. David.

- Oh, my God! My art! My work!

- What's wrong with you?

- Do I want success that badly?

- David. Come back to bed.

- The answer's yes. The answer's yes.

- Please come back to bed.

- When offered to have my play

backed by a hoodlum, I said yes.

- Please come back to bed.

- It's a deal with the devil,

and the penalty is...

- his girlfriend plays a part.

- Who are you calling at 3:00 a.m.?

[ David ] Hello, Julian? It's David.

Who do you see in the male lead?

Oh, kid.

[ Groans ]

It's 3:
00 a.m.

- I see Warner Purcell.

- Nah, too fat.

You seen him lately?

Nah, the man's a compulsive eater.

Doesn't matter.

I talked to his agent...

and he's been on a new diet

for four months. He looks fine.

I want him for Lieutenant Masters.

Then maybe I can live with all this.

I can live with

these compromises.

I'll have Warner Purcell

and Helen Sinclair, and then

I can live with that gun moll!

No, not Warner, kid. No.

I had him in Nuns Aplenty.

He'll turn over a new leaf. Then he'll

get insecure; he'll start eating.

By the time we get to Boston, he'll be

as big as my sister-in-law's ass.

No! No more compromises!

It is my play, and I want him!

I want him, and I want him,

and that's it. I'm not a whore!

- David, David, David!

- [ Sighs ] I'm all right.

[ Nick ] Olive starts rehearsal

for a show next week.

- I want you to stay with her.

- [ Cheech ] Yeah.

I want you to make sure

they treat her right up there.

Those theater characters

I don't trust 'em.

The show's costing me a bundle,

and I'm gonna get my money's worth.

- She wants to be a star.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- And I promised her.

- Mr. V., look, it's not

that I don't wanna do it--

Cheech, I'm giving you

an order. What do you do?

I know.

[ David ]

Monday, September 10.

Today rehearsals began,

and I've decided to keep a journal.

Perhaps my experience

will be of value to others...

just as I pore over with relish

the notes of my idols:

Chekov and Strindberg.

Rehearsals began promptly

at 10:
00 a.m.

Warner Purcell was first to arrive

full of bonhomie and good humor.

- Good morning!

- Warner Purcell.

Hello, I'm David Shayne.

- Oh, David, how marvelous

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