Bullets Over Broadway Page #5

- Thank you.

No, no, I mean it. It's so rare

that anything is really about something.

You know-- Well, there's Max Anderson

and Gene O'Neill.

- That's about it.

- You just named my two living gods.

I was a little reluctant at first

to play the part.

The character is so--

She's so, um... uh, colorless.

Colorless, yes.

Well, that's the idea--

- Then I realized what

you were going for.

- You did?

How profound, how complex,

her inner life really is.

I tried to give her

some contradictions.

I was worried.

I'm used to playing

more overtly heroic women.

Less tentative.

More alluring.

Certainly not

frigid.

No, yes, yes. Well, Sylvia Poston

is a mass of neuroses.

In spite of the fact that I

could really find nothing at all

in the play to brighten her up...

- no real passion, no seductiveness...

- Nothing?

I still think that

she's worth playing.

We could work it over, and

a touch here or there could be

changed to make sure you're...

- No, no, no, no.

I wouldn't dream of you...

- comfortable.

changing a word

of your work for me.

God, who am l, some

vain Broadway legend?

You... you're

a budding Chekhov.

I'm not saying I'll distort the play.

I'm just saying I'll reread it

with that in mind.

I mean, after all, Miss Sinclair--

Helen. May I call you Helen?

- Yes.

- Helen...

your instincts as an actress

are impeccable.

And I want the character

to have dimension. I don't mean

for her to be a drone.

- You see through me, don't you?

- Me?

You're clever.

You're brilliant.

What insight

into women.

Don't deny it.

I don't see why

she has to be frigid.

[ Nick ] Hey, how ya doin', doll?

How'd it go?

[ Olive ] Ah, they're all

so stuck up.

- Yeah? Anybody botherin' her?

- No.

They expect me to memorize

all these lines.

- Well, that's what you wanted,

isn't it? To be an actress?

- I know, I know, I know.

- I got a headache.

- Cheech'll help you

practice after we eat.

- Me?

- The girl's got stuff

to memorize, all right?

- Yeah, but, Nick--

- Go sit in the tub, honey. Go ahead.

I'm takin' you out to Delmonico's.

You want sirloin or a lobster?

- One of each.

- Listen, Nick, I'm not too good

at this memorizing, and I got a date--

All right, all right, knock it off.

I got a little errand for you to run.

- What kind of errand?

- A message for Charlie Masucci,

and we ain't got a lot of time.

##

Up a lazy river

where the old mill run

Meets lazy, lazy river

in the noonday sun

Linger in the shade

of a kind old tree

Throw away your troubles

Dream a dream--

- Up a lazy river

where the robin's song

- [ Water Splashing ]

Awakes a bright

new morning--

Can't you see...

you're living out

the exact same pattern...

your mother lived out

with your father?

I am?

Pray tell.

In some way,

you're trying to relive it,

and in the process

of reliving it, correct it.

As if that were possible.

Ha!

-It don't say "Ha."

-I know it don't say "Ha." I added that.

- What do ya mean you added that?

Are you allowed to do that?

- We're allowed to add things.

- How could you add something?

You can't do that.

- You're allowed!

- It's called ad-libbing.

- You can't do that!

I can do that. What do you know? You

don't know nothin'. Shut up and read.

- I think the whole thing stinks.

- I think you're a degenerate

zombie. Shut up and read!

- You better shut up! Just shut up!

- You shut up and read.

- You shut up!

- You're lucky you're Nick's girl.

You're lucky

you're an idiot.

What endeavors you...

to concoct a theory so tenuous?

Mmm-mmm-mm.

I sure pities the poor folks who gonna

have to pay to see this play.

- What ya thinking?

- Oh, just about Eugene O'Neill

and Max Anderson, you know.

Yeah. You've been rewriting all night

and it's only just the first day.

- Is that a bad sign?

- No. I just think that

I might have made...

the character of Sylvia Poston

a bit too antiseptic.

- She's gotta have a sexual side to her.

- No.

- I think she's the best female

character you've written in a long time.

- Says who?

David, you know you always have

problems getting into the female mind.

- I know that you think that.

- You've said so yourself before.

We've had this discussion.

All your friends are men. You-- You've

always had problems writing for women.

Witness your relationship

with your mother, your grandmother...

- your two aunts, your sister--

- I think I try to factor that

into my work.

But to be honest with you...

at this moment, I don't think

you really understand my work at all.

- Oh! Don't be so defensive.

- I'm not being defensive.

Perhaps my opinions just aren't

intellectual enough for you.

Maybe they're just not--

That's a horrible thing to say.

When you have a good idea,

I listen to it. I'm responsive.

- In this case, I think you're

wrong. That's about it.

- When am I right?

You're right about other things, but not

about Sylvia Poston and her sexuality.

[ David ] September 17.

The first week is behind me now...

and apart from a few minor incidents,

things seemed to go okay.

There was that moment

between Helen and Eden.

I can't do that speech if she's

going to be fidgeting around upstage!

- Well, that's why I think

I should sit. I'll sit.

- Oh, God!

Sylvia would never ask her to sit

in her own house. She despises her!

She doesn't want me to sit. She doesn't

want me to stand. I guess I could squat.

David, do you realize you're asking an

audience to believe that my husband...

would leave me

for this woman?

- Come along.

- Excuse me. Excuse me, but

I think it's made very clear...

in the speech about erotic attraction,

why he does that.

You fool! He's thinking of me

when he does that speech.

Don't you know anything?

- Only the part about the liver spots.

- Listen.

How long has it been since

you've had a real hemorrhage?

David, I wonder if now would be a moment

to do my soliloquy from Act II?

- [ Crying ] Did you hear what she--

- Please. Aspirin!

[ David ] All right, yes, why don't we?

And, Eden, just take five.

- I need an aspirin!

- [ Crying Continues ]

[ David ]

Mitch.

[ David ] Then there was the time when

I tried to cut one of Olive's speeches.

- I like that speech,

and I already got it memorized.

- But it's superfluous.

- It's-- What is it?

- Well, I've overwritten it.

We know how you feel

about Sylvia's breakdown when

you talk with the good doctor.

So it's my fault.

Um, the performance is fine.

But, um...

I like to say it.

- We-- We don't need it.

- Hey!

Are you tryin' to make

my part smaller?

- No, no, every--

- My part's small enough as it is!

Every play needs some cuts, and the size

of the role is not the important thing.

Did you hear what she said? She doesn't

want her speech taken away from her!

- Look, look, Mr. Cheech, I've about--

- I'd rather be shootin' crap myself...

but Mr. V. told me that she's gotta

be up there a lot!

- I wrote this play,

and I'm directing this play!

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