Bye Bye Birdie Page #5

Well, in that case, your daughter

is the former future Mrs. Hugo Peabody.

Oh, Hugo,

stop acting like a child.

Kim! Where is he?

Can I see him?

Conrad's asleep, poor dear.

You may peek through

his keyhole while I...

while I discuss this tempest

in a tea bag with Hugo.

You're lucky people.

What'd we ever do

to deserve such a daughter?

We got married.

Marriage.

- But, Kim...

- Hugo...

- Yeah, but, Kim...

- I don't have time for a debate.

Ursula's waiting. I've got to learn

my speech tor tomorrow's rehearsal.

Wait a minute, Kim.

Don't go yet, please.

You don't know what I've been through

with all the guys buggin' me...

well, about you

and that Birdie creep.

Oh, that.

Yeah, that!

Why, that's silly.

He means nothing to me.

One boy

One special boy

One boy to go with

To talk with and walk with

One boy

That's the way it should be

Yeah, yeah,

that's the way it should be.

One boy

One certain boy

One boy to laugh with

To joke with, have Coke with

One boy

Not two or three

One day

You'll find out

This is what life is all about

You need

Someone who

Is living

Just for you

One boy

One steady boy

One boy to be with

Forever and ever

One boy

That's the way it should be

That's the way

It should be

Now is that the kiss of a woman

interested in any other man?

I don't know.

How do I tell?

- Ah, but he made you faint.

- Oh, he did not!

I was just exhausted,

cramming for my English exam.

You've got to try

to understand me as a woman.

Now, I might like

Conrad as a friend...

but when it comes

to the real thing...

the grand passion...

well, that's something

special, Hugo.

That's you.

One day you'll find out

This is what life is all about

You need someone who

Is living just for you

One boy, one steady boy

One boy to be with

Forever and ever

One boy

That's the way it should be

That's the way

It should be

Homework!

Hey, I got homework to do.

When will he find out

This is what life is all about

Will he ever see

I need him

And he

Needs me

- One boy

- One special boy

- One special boy

- One boy to be with always

One boy to be with

- Forever and ever

- Forever

- I love him

- One boy

- Love him, I love

- That's the way

- Him so

- It should be

That's the way

It should be

That's the way

It should be

Hello, Sweet Apple Drive-in?

I'm looking for my mother,

Mrs. Peterson.

Are you sure there's no one left

in your drive-in? Okay, thank you.

Don't worry, partner.

Your mother will get along fine.

Sweet Apple's

full of friendly folk.

It anything happens to her,

I'll never forgive myself.

- What kind of a dump is this?

- "Dump"?

Conrad. Let's humor him, partner.

If he walks off

the Sullivan show, we're sunk.

Gotcha.

I can't tind no church key

in my room.

Church key? We've had

a church here, but it's open.

A can opener, man.

You're from nowherelike.

That's my favorite brand.

Well, it's bedtime, huh, Conrad?

Okay for tonight,

but tomorrow's Saturday...

and that's my real tense night.

Thanks, Mr. McAfee.

The next time I have a daughter,

I hope it's a boy.

I am a lucky man though, Albert.

Meeting up with

a biochemical wizard.

Peterson and McAfee

are going right to the moon.

I've got to, not just

for my mother, for Rosie.

Well, I guess I'll get

a little air and turn in.

Take all the air you want, chum.

Hi, Rosie.

Rosie, you don't have

to worry about Mama. She'll show up.

- I'm certain she will.

- Then you ought to be happy.

Kim's on the show.

Conrad does my song...

and I promise

I'll tell Mama about us.

Come on.

Why look so awfully tragic

Put on a happy face

Smiling can work like magic

Put on a happy face

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy

It's not your style

You look so good that

you'll be glad ya decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook

Stick out that noble chin

Wipe off the full of doubt look

Slap on a happy grin

And spread sunshine

all over the place

Just put on a happy face

Flowers?

Put on a happy face

Put on a happy face

Why do you mope around so sourly

It's such a strain

I always try to chuckle hourly

It clears the brain

I knew a girl so gloomy

She'd never laugh or sing

She wouldn't listen to me

Now she's a mean old thing

So spread sunshine

All over the place

Put on a happy

So put on a happy

Face

Well, like I said,

you're a genius, Dr. Peterson.

Oh, honey,

you sure have put up with a lot.

But this time we're gonna make it!

Let's live in a small town

like this.

- Anything you say, dear.

- Okay?

Wow, the last time

we were alone together...

last summer at Palisades Park.

- We went through the tunnel of love.

- Your mother sat between us.

Oh, honey, I told you. From now on,

things are gonna be different.

- Yoo-hoo! Albert!

- It's Mama.

Mama?

Boy meets girl,

boy loses girl...

boy gets mother.

- Mama, where have ya been?

- Neglected! That's where I've been.

I tried to find ya.

Have you had any dinner?

A mother doesn't need tood. Besides,

I'd rather be with my famous son.

Albert, what is it?

Oh, it's your mother.

- Oh, good evening!

- How are ya, ma'am?

How can I be... ripped from

my native land, alone in this jungle?

Gosh, Albert, I wish we had room

to put up your mother.

Thanks. A motel mattress full of lumps

is good enough tor me.

Comtort is for my loving son.

I just came to tuck ya into bed.

See, Mama's got a condition.

She won't tell me what it is.

Why worry a growing boy?

Okay. You insist?

I got, maybe,

one tenth a normal heart.

A mother doesn't need a heart.

Well, soon as Albert and I get

our new deal a-rollin'...

you'll have the finest doctors

in the country.

Deal? What deal, Albert?

Well, Mama, I'm quitting the music

business and goin' back to chemistry.

That Rosie!

She's finally turned you against me!

Oh, please, Mama. She didn't.

Albert, go... desert me.

But when I was expecting him

in the maternity ward...

three days I waited...

did I desert him?

No. I stayed right there so

he wouldn't be alone when he was born.

Mama, please don't excite yourself.

Mama, you know I love ya.

- It's just Rosie and I have plans.

- Okay!

Lou, I'll be right up.

Start dealing.

Just bury me on your front lawn

so Rosie can walk all over me!

Mama! Mama, please!

It's not gas. It's electric.

Doris!

Doris, how do you like it?

Isn't it exciting?

No! I told you

not to dye your hair!

Oh, but I wanted to!

Isn't it a gas?

- You dare defy your mother?

- But it's my hair.

- Not till you're 21.

- What's the matter, Papa?

Young lady, you stay in your room

till it changes back! Do you hear?

- I won't!

- I demand respect around here.

- It's my hair!

- Respect. Do you hear? Respect.

- I respect you, Papa.

- I don't want your respect.

Who wants respect

from a ten-year-old kid?

Kids, I don't know what's wrong

with these kids today

Kids, who can understand

anything they say

Kids, they are disobedient

disrespectful oats

Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers

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