Caddyshack Page #7

Driver, please.

Don't smile at me a lot, okay?

The Judge and Mr. Czervik

have a $1 00,000 match going on!

What do you want to do?

Five on Mr. Czech.

Hello? Anybody home?

Hello, Mr. Gopher! It's me, Mr. Squirrel.

Just a harmless squirrel.

Not a plastic explosive or anything.

Nothing to be worried about.

I'm just here to make your last hours

on earth as peaceful as possible.

Don't mind this. This is doctor's orders.

You don't mind if I just pop in there

for a few laughs?

That's right. Or in the words

of Jean-Paul Sartre:

"Au revoir, gopher."

This is going to be sweet.

That kangaroo stole my ball!

"What's up, Doc?"

I don't understand it!

I'm playing the worst game of my life!

Don't put yourself down, Al.

You're not...you're not good. You stink.

Fifty bucks the Smails kid picks his nose.

All right, kid, take your time.

Fifty bucks more says he eats it.

Don't do it, kid!

That kid will eat anything!

He was hungry.

What do you say, Al? Shall we press on?

Hey, Judge, cheer up, will you?

My boat needs exactly $20,000 worth

of repairs.

So does your brain!

You want to double it?

Fine! $40,000 apiece!

All right! You've got it!

Hold on, Judge! That's my office.

I better get going.

No. You're in for half of $80,000.

Probably just a routine emergency.

Why did I double it? I should have

stayed home and played with myself!

I saw Smails before. He was cheating.

Nobody likes a tattletale...

except, of course, me.

My arm ! It's broken!

What has this buffoon done now?

Okay, let's have a look.

That might be a fractured ulna.

I'm afraid you forfeit.

Who says so? The match is a draw!

You don't play, you lose. Right, Lou?

That's right,

unless you allow him a substitute.

Spaulding can play out his holes.

Actually, Judge, I think it's up to us

to pick a substitute.

Who do you want?

Sonja Henie is out.

We'll take Danny Noonan.

Danny is an employee of the Club.

He can't work and play,

particularly in something as illegal as this!

Makes a lot of sense.

If you win, I'll make it worth your while.

I'll play.

You don't want that scholarship, do you?

I guess I don't.

I guess you don't!

Don't worry. It's good luck.

In Haiti!

You've got to win this hole.

I thought winning wasn't important.

Me winning isn't! You do!

Great grammar.

See your future. Be...your future.

Make...make it!

Make your future. I'm a veg, Danny.

Give me this. Take it easy, will you, Ty?

Hey, Mr. Gopher?

Gentlemen, this match is all even.

Final hole. Doctor, you are away.

Spaulding, this calls for the old Billy Baroo.

This is a biggie!

Don't let me down, Billy!

Forty thousand dollars...Billy!

I knew you'd do it!

"Silver wings upon their chest...

"...these are men, America's best."

Don't worry about this one.

If you miss it, we lose.

Hey, Judge! Double or nothing

he makes it!

Eighty thousand dollars!

What's that, Judge?

You're on!

We're waiting!

Noonan...you can do it!

You lose it, buddy!

Fore!

It's a birdie!

All right, Smails, that's 80 grand.

Now fork it over!

I'll give you nothing!

Absolutely nothing, you understand!

I figured as much! Hey, Moose!

Rocco! Help the judge find his checkbook.

Well, l...l will.

Hey, everybody!

We're all going to get laid!

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