Cadillac Man Page #3

- She's got one.

It wouldn't hurt if you

set a little cash aside...

for Lisa's college,

like you keep saying you are.

Tina, I've always

taken care of you.

But I'm living in 2 rooms

as big as your garage, huh?

I'm living like a

f***ing cabbage seller...

like my old man.

Because you spend

your money on whores...

instead of your

daughter's education.

My lady friends are not whores!

- So marry one.

- You couldn't afford me to.

'Cause God forbid you might

have to get a real job.

I got a real job!

Catering! Remember?

Come on, Tina. Whipping up

a few cheese logs...

for your friends' parties

ain't a real job.

It was when I cooked for you.

You know what the real

job was? Eating it.

I didn't see you

getting any thinner.

I'm lucky I didn't blow my ass

off after eating your beans!

Do you feel better?

It's true.

How about this, huh?

$500 a month for

a college fund for Lisa.

Now do you feel better?

- Terrific, if you do it.

- I promise.

Why'd you come all the way here?

Just to talk to me about Lisa?

I was just driving by.

See you.

Where the hell are you

gonna get 500 bucks a month?

Joey, did you forget

why you came here?

Come on, boy.

Tina, I forgot.

Could you call your brother...

and tell him we're

having a sale tomorrow?

So that's why you came over.

He's got a car.

I'll cut him

a rock-bottom price...

straight to the floor.

I'll make him a deal...

even your tight-ass brother

couldn't refuse.

Why are you selling me?

Come on, do me a favor.

Get him to come down. Please?

I'll talk to him.

Thanks, Tina.

Why'd I ever leave you?

Well, you didn't

leave me, Joey.

I asked you to

leave. Remember why?

Divorce.

There's one woman

in my life, though...

who doesn't ask me for a thing.

She lives for me.

She really does.

Every time I see her,

I feel great.

She really knows

how to take care of me.

You know why, Joey?

That's the most important thing.

Ma, basta on the fagioli, OK?

No more beans. I got a date.

It'll be here

if you want some more.

Joey, why are you so unappy?

I'm not unappy.

I'm just not hungry, OK?

Come on. That's bullshit,

and you know it.

Don't bullshit your ma.

Bullshit the girls,

but don't bullshit your ma.

OK, look. I'm eating, OK?

I'm not jerking you around.

Have you talked to

your daughter lately?

Tina calls, you know?

But Lisa, never.

- I'll talk to her.

- Talk? Joey!

Lisa needs a regular family.

You know, like

you had with Tina.

Come on, Ma.

You couldn't stand Tina.

Now you want us back together?

So I ain't perfect.

- Who is, Ma?

- You are, Joey.

You are my perfect little boy.

Joey's central.

Cars are my life.

How you doing?

Great, Jackie.

Doing great.

I've got four potential sales

in the bag.

Listen, you seeing

someone tonight?

I guess I've earned

a little R and R.

Sure you did.

We all did.

So that means you won't be

using your pad tonight, huh?

Come on, it's Saturday night.

What's Donna going

to tell her old man?

You're pushing

your luck, cowboy.

I know what I'm doing, babe.

Believe me.

- So is that OK?

- Yeah, that's OK.

Mi casa es su casa, amigo.

Gracias, and keep

selling cars, you hear?

We need you at Turgeon.

Don't you worry. The only thing

on my mind is selling cars.

- Joey, don't.

- What?

- You'll mess me up.

- I can't mess you up.

Let's go.

How's your day?

It's been a drag

till I get to you.

Come here.

You want to know

what a drag is, Joey?

A drag is standing on

your feet all day...

That's it.

Spraying goofy-smelling

mousse on people.

Trying to make these old ladies

look like... they...

trying to make 'em look like

they walked off of "Cosmo"...

when they look like they got

hit by the lousy "A" train.

Joey, I cannot find my pumps!

Honey.

Where are my pumps, Joey?

Strawberry slides into home!

Do me something good.

Turn over.

We're playing

mandingo again, huh?

We're going to do your do.

- What?

- Your do!

There's gonna be celebs

there tonight.

There's gonna be

paparazzi there.

So you gotta look special.

You gotta look good.

I got you some clothes.

Special.

I got you some clothes.

Special.

Joey O'Brien, Turgeon Auto.

The Allante should be

a good car for you.

It's computerized,

does 140 miles an hour.

Better than that Rabbit

I saw you drive up in.

You gotta be doir this

all the time? Selling?

Sorry.

I can't help it.

Tomorrow we're having a sale.

Tomorrow?

I'll be there.

We've got to get in. There are

fashion people downstairs.

They're always lookir

for new talent.

I'll try, Lila.

Ricky, look in your book.

Lila. L-i-I-a.

I'm on your list.

Under "L."

Shoot here. Shoot this, huh?

Shoot me, I'm Lila.

I'm an up-and-coming designer.

I designed this stuff myself.

- Come on.

- She's gorgeous, huh?

Even a blind man

can tell she's hot.

She's a nobody.

She's nothing.

I take stars.

I take famous people.

This person is nowhere.

I'm not taking her picture.

I'm not wasting the film.

It's nothing personal.

Screw this joker.

You didn't have

to say that to her...

Have a nice life.

You know what you are?

You're an asshalf.

It takes two of you

to make an a**hole.

Hey, does this get us in?

You know Mr. Grant?

- You know him?

- All right.

All right. Gorge!

You wanna come in or what?

Gorge, where are you going?

We're in!

I'm not going in there, Joey!

- Will you wait up, Lisa?

- Who's Lisa?

I don't know, Liza. Come on,

what are you saying here?

- You doing a Lisa?

- No, no! Wait!

I know the difference

between Lisa and Lila.

- You said Lisa!

- No, I did not, OK?

I don't know a Lisa.

I'm not doing a Lisa.

The only lisa I know

is the Mona Lisa.

Gorge, come on. You're

the only girl for me.

Come on, Gorge.

Your time's going to come.

I know what I'm talking about.

I don't want to be just

some stupid bimbo, Joey.

Bimbo? You know what a bimbo is?

It's a little elephant

with big ears.

Hey, come on. Listen,

your dos are gonna be...

the hottest thing in

this whole goddamn city.

You really think so?

Really?

Am I a loser?

Gorge, think I'm gonna

waste my time with a loser?

You know what a loser

looks like?

Loser looks like this.

I'd like to see

the Allante, please.

Please show me the Allante.

I love you, Joey.

I really do.

Benny.

Legend, lover, salesman, right?

Take no prisoners today, Ben.

You got it.

What I got to do

this sh*t for?

Money.

- After you.

- No, apres vous.

He speaks French.

You and me, Moll. It's time

we got something going.

I'm free tonight.

I'd like that, but I'd

rather eat worms and die.

My worm doesn't have a hook.

You know what your problem is?

You're a pig.

And you're a chauvinist,

and you have no

respect for women.

I guess dinner and a blowj*b

out of the question.

- I guess.

- We'll forget dinner.

Telephone call

for Joey O'Brien.

- Big day, Joey.

- Almost.

It was right there.

It got away.

- Oh, God. It's Tina.

- Tina, what?

Lisa stayed out all night.

She didn't come home.

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