Calamity Jane Page #2

-You got what he got!

-We don't want it. No, we don't want it!

Wait a minute!

He knows how disappointed you are.

Give him a chance and he' make it up.

-Won't you, iie?

-Sure. Anything.

He fooed us once, and he' foo us again.

iie won't do nothing for us.

He wi. He' get you an actress prettier

than the one you expected.

-Why, he's written for her aready.

-What actress? Who's he going to get?

A big one. A pum big one.

Who, Caam? Te us who!

AN:
We'd ike to know who she is.

Adeaid Adams, that's who!

t sounds too good to be true,

but it better be.

You've got Caamity Jane's word on it.

Get back to your tabes, you coyotes.

Enjoy the show!

LLER:
' make it up to you.

Adeaid Adams is in Chicago.

She woudn't be caught dead in this town.

think ' take a ong wak

off a short precipice.

[Laughter]

Look, figure....

y death warrant, she signed.

Adeaid Adams.

f you'd ony promised them

any other actress.

- don't know no other actress.

-That's why they ca her ''Caamity.''

Listen, you two-bit gamber...

didn't see you come up with an idea

when the chips were down!

At east you've sti got a theater.

What stops you getting this Adeaid?

This joint's the biggest godmine

in Deadwood. You can afford it.

-Why don't you send for her?

-Why don't send for the Queen of Sheba?

No good. They want Adeaid.

Look, nothing is impossibe for Caamity.

Didn't she save the stage

from 100 savage njuns?

Didn't she rescue her pretty ieutenant

from a fate worse than death?

Besides, she gave the boys her word

that Adeaid woud be here.

Caamity's word is sacred.

CALATY:
Bi.

-You reay have that much faith in me?

-Who knows you better than me?

You think coud go to Chicago

and bring Adeaid Adams back here?

You gave your word, and trust that.

About as much as do a bind rattesnake

with a brand new button on his tai.

[Bi aughs]

Hey, wait a minute.

-You no good four-fushing--

-You tak too much.

[Sing humorous duet]

Caam.

The night Adeaid steps on that stage,

' come dressed as a Sioux squaw...

ugging a papoose.

' bring her, Bi Hickok,

if have to drag her back with my teeth!

[Shouting]

CALATY:
Look out, Adeaid Adams.

Rattesnake!

Saary's no object.

Promise her anything, but bring her.

've got the cigarette picture, ' find her.

-Caam, do me a favor.

-What?

When you're in Chicago, notice the

women, how they act and what they wear.

Get yoursef

some femae cothes and fixings.

You know, dresses, ribbons,

perfume, things ike that.

-f you don't ike how sme--

-t's nothing persona.

f you ever crawed out of that deer hide

and doed up a bit...

got a hunch

you'd be a passabe, pretty ga.

Save your hunches for femaes who get

their pictures taken in ong underwear.

ain't one of them.

Come on. Get this schooner roing.

[Bi aughs]

[Upbeat instrumenta pioneer music]

[Honky-tonk piano music]

[Faint drum beating]

Scaps.

A massacre.

[Escaating instrumenta music]

Drop it, you murdering copperhead.

[Laughter]

' be hornswogged.

[Sweeping instrumenta music]

[Sings seductive song]

[Appause]

They ove you, iss Adams.

Shoudn't you take another bow?

t's your ast night.

'm gratefuy aware of that.

See that the trunks are packed,

and my costumes....

Get rid of those awfu things.

Se them or do something.

' make you a present of them.

' buy a whoe new wardrobe.

London, Vienna, Paris.

How different from this primitive Chicago.

These past few weeks

have been a dreadfu bore.

How can you say that, iss Adams?

They have been gorious.

f coud be on the stage for one minute,

to see a those peope ooking up at me...

istening, admiring....

Like ooking into the pens

at the stockyards.

Hurry up, Katie.

We mustn't keep r. Kingsey waiting.

aybe some day wi be on the stage.

Not a grand, beautifu star ike you,

iss Adams.

Just to sing a song maybe.

can dance and sing a itte.

Of course you can. 've heard you.

Very nice for choirs and weddings, but...

doubt that your voice woud

ever carry beyond the footights.

There, now. How do ook?

Beautifu, iss Adams. Just beautifu.

Even if never sang aone,

if were ony in the chorus...

coudn't you suggest it

to somebody sometime?

You're not serious, Katie. Not reay?

y dear, it isn't just your voice.

You other equipment is hardy adequate.

Cheer up. aybe ' send for you

when get to Paris. A right?

Good night, daring.

Good night.

[Light instrumenta music]

[Gigging]

[Sings Adeaide's seductive song,

makes the song sound payfu]

[Katie sings fainty]

[Shrieks]

What is it, ma'am? Where's the varmint?

Who are you?

y name is Canary, iss Adams,

most foks ca me Caamity.

came from Deadwood City to see you

and tak you into going back with me.

Gosh amighty,

you're the prettiest thing 've ever seen.

've never known a woman

coud ook ike that.

-How do you hod that dress up there?

-Pease!

- have to change cothes. Do you mind?

-Heping you? Why, sure.

've pugged men for ess than that.

f you don't get out of here this instant,

r. Canary...

or r. Caamity,

or whatever your name is....

ister?

Why, ain't no mister.

-You're a woman?

-Of course, 'm a woman.

You thought was a man?

Come to think of it, that ain't so funny.

'm sorry. But those cothes,

the gun and everything....

reckon do ook a mite strange

to a ady ike you.

guess ain't much to ook at.

But there ain't a woman can't out-ride

or out-shoot or....

Everybody can't have a figure

ike Adeaid Adams.

That's a matter of opinion.

n the opinion of Deadwood City,

there ain't no other opinion.

Now, et's get down to business.

'd ike to hire you

to come and sing in Deadwood.

e?

got a ot of nerve asking you, know.

Deadwood City ain't no Chicago...

and the Goden Garter

ain't no grand theater ike this one...

but they want you mighty bad,

and promised them you'd come.

Name your own saary.

We, the saary isn't important. t's just....

e?

Every prospector in the territory

is chewing himsef sick with tobacco...

just to get a picture of you.

Te Deadwood, iss Adams is sorry,

but she's going to Europe.

Coudn't you put that off unti

after you payed Deadwood?

Sure, coud, but....

aybe coud.

t's ridicuous. coudn't.

s this the ony picture

they have of me in Deadwood?

-The cigarette picture?

- reckon so, ma'am.

Where is Deadwood?

Dakota Territory. Out in the Back His.

-ndians?

-Sioux tribe.

But you needn't worry about njuns

when you trave with Caamity Jane.

Do trains go there?

Not for the ast 100 mies.

-But the stage is comfortabe.

-No teegraph?

No.

f you want to send a etter,

there's a dispatcher--

f refused, you'd poke that gun in my

back and march me to the rairoad station.

-We, now--

-'m at your mercy. Come hep me pack.

got a strange feeing

someone is being husted.

[Adventurous instrumenta music]

[Native American music]

[Batte cries]

[Dramatic batte music]

Come on, you redskin naked heathens!

Run up here and get your one-way ticket

to the happy hunting grounds!

Come on, catch us! And catch that!

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