Calamity Jane Page #3

And that!

Get the steam up in them horses.

Are you comfortabe in there,

iss Adams?

We, it's a over.

tod you, you had nothing to worry about.

Not when you're riding with Caamity.

iss Adams, you a right?

iss Adams.

AN:
Caamity's back,

and she brought Adeaid Adams.

[Cheering]

CALATY:
Quiet! Listen to me!

A right,

you mangy pack of dirt-scratching beetes.

promised you Adeaid Adams,

and brought her.

[Cheering]

Quiet! Wait a minute!

Everybody stand back.

Let's give her a rea Deadwood wecome.

CALATY:
Throw them bags down,

Rattesnake.

-Your servant, ma'am, Bi Hickok.

-Wid Bi Hickok?

f am, you coud tame me, ma'am.

Lieutenant Danie Gimartin, iss Adams.

Yours to command.

Thank you.

This way, iss Adams.

iss Adams, you are here.

'm unworthy. y theater is unworthy.

But you're a true artist. You are here.

Yes, 'm here.

iss Adams, permit me to introduce

a feow thespian, aso from the East.

r. Francis Fryer.

How do you do, r. Fryer?

Fryer. Don't know you from somewhere?

We payed St. Louis

the same week ast year.

At different theaters, of course.

How nice to see you again.

Sha we go inside, iss Adams?

Caam, you did it!

coud shoot mysef with happiness.

aybe shoud shoot mysef

for bringing her.

iss Adams, ' show you to your room.

Finest room in the house.

Had it speciay decorated.

Thank you.

Gentemen.

[Laughter]

-Congratuations, Caamity.

-Ony Caamity coud do it!

bet if she went after Sitting Bu

she'd bring him back, too.

Did you see the show?

Did you see iss Adams work?

What is it ike in the big city?

Boys,

Chicago's the biggest noise in inois!

Listen.

[Sings upbeat song]

[Faint honky-tonk music]

Hurry up. This isn't just any night.

This is Adeaid Adams' night.

Hear that crowd!

You've got to know. 've got to te you.

That gir, she's....

Oh, never mind.

iie, that Adeaid Adams, she isn't....

mean, she's....

What's the use if she is or if she isn't?

She's got to be.

Because if she isn't, that crowd....

We' a be....

' have two fast horses waiting

at the stage entrance.

Why? 'm not going anywhere.

Actors are crazy peope.

Scared, aren't you, Katie Brown?

You thought it was smart

posing as Adeaid Adams.

You'd ike to run ike mad, woudn't you?

Catch a train, get out of this crazy town.

But you can't. You're trapped.

There is no train.

Oh, cever, cever you.

[Knocking at the door]

LLER:
Five minutes, iss Adams.

KATE:
' be ready.

Five minutes, and ook at you.

You haven't even got a face.

[Drum ro]

[Appause]

Gentemen and.... Gentemen.

[Laughter and appause]

The great moment has finay arrived.

There are no words to describe the beauty

of the ady you are about to meet.

No meody as sweet as the voice

you are about to hear.

[nfant crying]

Gosh amighty, it's Bi Hickok!

[Laughter]

Ain't he gorgeous?

Wid Bi Hickok, sweetheart of the Sioux!

Where are the rest of your kids,

Pocahontas?

Here, take him.

Thanks. Everybody get out of here.

A right. That's enough, do you hear?

[Sience]

Bi Hickok!

The funniest sight 've ever seen.

Caamity, pease! He's mad.

Don't break up the show!

A right, Caam. paid my debt.

The next man that aughs

is going to get his head ventiated.

[Sience]

[Caamity aughs oudy]

Caam, pease! iss Adams is waiting.

The one and ony, iss Adeaid Adams!

Go on out there

and give them everything, Katie.

Katie?

-She don't ook much ike her pictures.

-She's prettier.

[Katie sings offkey]

What's the matter with her?

She didn't sing ike that in Chicago.

AN:
Where's your voice, Adeaid?

You eave it in Chicago?

[Laughter]

-That's the great Adeaid Adams?

-The poor, fooish kid.

Sing out, Adeaid, ike you did in Chicago!

can't. 'm not Adeaid Adams!

[Shocked murmurs]

You're not....

[Sience]

She's joshing.

Of course she's Adeaid Adams.

brought her mysef, didn't ?

ought to know. ''Not Adeaid Adams.''

Don't joke ike that, Adeaid.

These gaoots ain't got no sense of humor.

t's not a joke. wish it were.

[Angry shouting]

Pease don't be angry with me.

know shoudn't have done it, but--

Let's get this straight.

You say you're not Adeaid Adams?

No, ma'am. Sir.

'm Katie Brown.

Katie Brown?

Caamity!

You were Adeaid Adams in Chicago,

in her dressing room.

was her maid.

She gave me her costumes.

She was going to Europe,

and wanted so bady to be on the stage.

-Caamity framed it.

-Yeah, bringing in Adeaid's maid.

She ought to be run out of town.

Feows, isten.

What's Adeaid Adams to us, anyhow?

f this is a doube-cross...

you can doube-cross me ike this

every day of the week.

didn't know. thought she was Adeaid.

'm just as surprised as you are.

So hep me, Bi, can't understand.

Pease don't bame Caamity.

She didn't know. She didn't!

fooed her just as tried to foo you.

t's a my faut.

thought coud make you ike me.

[Angry shouting]

Don't et her bu-nose you.

She ain't getting away with it this time.

There, now. That's better.

Ain't you ashamed of yourseves,

treating a ady this way?

A right, so she ain't Adeaid Adams.

She made off she was

because she wanted to be an actress.

And she thought maybe

we'd give her that chance.

What's wrong with that, anyhow?

We're a here on the same ticket.

You a came here to Deadwood

ooking for something...

you coudn't find anywhere ese.

You're a ooking for that pot of god,

and Katie here ain't no different!

We, what have you got to say?

Are you going to grouch about a picture,

or are you going to give a rea ive...

and pretty young ady

a chance to prove she beongs here?

t's up to you.

-As ong as she's up there, et her sing.

-A right, give her a chance.

What do we've got to ose?

That's a we want to hear.

Let her rip, Katie Brown.

Give it a you got. Do it your own way.

Pay.

[Sings payfu song]

[Appause and cheers]

She is great! Deadwood doesn't need

no imported actress. We ro our own!

Let me oose!

Let me oose! Quit it, Bi Hickok.

So hep me, ' shoot your ears off.

Quit it, say. Let me oose!

You hear what say? Let me out of this!

Bi Hickok, ' get you,

if it's the ast thing do. Let me down!

You no-good sneaking sidewinder.

Let me down out of here.

Adeaid Adams?

And me in this squaw getup.

You've got the biggest mouth

in the whoe Dakota Territory.

You fap-eared varmint, et me down!

[Laughter]

You dirty, mangy, moe-egged,

miserabe son of a sinking coyote!

Let me down out of here!

Fap your wings, Caam, you can fy!

Let me down!

' get you for this.

Here we go.

You're eaving aready, iss Brown?

You ony opened ast night.

'm sorry.

was hoping to get better acquainted.

Getting better acquainted with him

is ike making a pet out of a poecat.

think that woud be very nice,

r. Hickok.

t ain't ikey ' turn up in Chicago.

Chicago? 'm not going to Chicago.

You're not? Where are you going?

t ain't none of your business, squaw man.

'm moving into Caamity's cabin with her.

-You're what?

- brought her, and 'm responsibe for her.

-What's the matter with the hote?

-Nothing.

There aren't many women in town...

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