California Solo Page #3

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F***.

The people of the state of

California

have charged

you with one count of violating

California Vehicle Code section

driving under the influence

of alcohol or a drug.

And with one count

of violating Vehicle Code

section 23-152-B

driving with

a blood alcohol content

of point-zero-eight percent

or greater.

These are misdemeanors and

carry with them

a maximum punishment of six

months imprisonment.

How do you plead?

Not guilty, your honor.

Defendant pleads not guilty.

We'll set the pre-trial hearing

for approximately 30 days...

Two shots, please.

Rough day, huh?

Tell me about it.

Yep.

Totally shite f***ing day.

Oh, f*** me.

There we go.

That'll be five dollars.

Hey, Beau.

Hey, Paul.

Two weeks runnin', eh?

Yeah.

How were the tomatoes?

Thank you for

pushing them on me.

Beau didn't uh, tell me

who you were last week.

Who am I?

Well, I was spinning

at a party that night

and I put on a song from

"Bank Street Waltz"

by The Cranks.

And I'm looking at the

back of the album,

the band photo.

And I'm like, holy sh*t.

There you are standing

right next to Jed.

The guy from the f***ing

farmer's market.

Man, "Bank Street Waltz"

is literally

my favorite album of all time.

Yeah.

He hasn't stopped talking

about it all week.

Look, I'm doing a party

in a few weeks

at Three of Clubs.

You gotta come.

No, thanks for the invite,

but I don't do anything

like that anymore.

Anything like what?

Anything interesting.

Oh, it's all you know, your

kind of stuff, man.

You see, Blur, Stone

Roses, Black Grape, Oasis.

Look, if you come, I'll

play the whole the entire

side one of

"Bank Street Waltz".

No, you know, I-I've

heard quite enough

of that album, thank you.

No, seriously.

You gotta come.

I really don't want to, man.

Babe.

He can't make it.

Shh...

He's coming.

Shh?

He doesn't want to.

All right, look,

if you change your mind,

it's Three of Clubs next month.

And um, you know, we'll

make you the guest of honor.

It's gonna be amazing.

I hope... I hope you

change your mind.

It's really nice to meet you.

Seriously.

It's a pleasure, it's an honor.

I'm really sorry

about your brother, man.

Cheers...

I appreciate that.

Yeah... Cheers.

So, you were a big

deal back in the day?

I was the guitar player

in a big deal band,

for a moment, yeah.

How come you never

said anything?

You ever heard of The Cranks?

No.

So what do you want me to say?

I don't know.

Something.

"I play guitar.

I'm a big f***ing deal."

Something like that.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't think it was

that bad, actually.

F*** off,

it's "not that bad."

$5,000 fine.

Four months in prison.

It's a first plea offer.

We can push back

on the prison time.

Okay, but we can't go any

further with that

until we find out

what is gonna work best

for your immigration situation.

Yeah, I know,

I understand that.

He says you still haven't

gotten back to him.

I'm trying, man.

It's just...

I know, I'm sorry.

I just don't have the money.

Okay, I...

I understand.

This is what he said

he could do for you.

He'll take a thousand up front,

as a consultation fee.

And then a thousand more to

be paid at a later date.

But we've got to get him

on board right away.

I understand.

I'm possibly interested in

selling an old guitar of mine.

It's a Les Paul 90-60

Sunburst.

How much will one

of those go for nowadays?

Well, that depends on what

kind of shape it's in.

Well, have you heard

of The Cranks, my friend?

Doesn't ring a bell.

No?

Album called

"Bank Street Waltz"?

"Glass Houses?"

No.

Well, they said that

the lead singer

was the British Kurt Cobain.

I thought that was

nonsense, but anyhow...

I... I'm not too big

on British bands.

Well, it was used by the

lead guitarist of The Cranks.

He bought it directly from

Paul Weller of The Jam,

who played it before him.

You're familiar with The Jam?

You work in a music store.

Let me guess, you're

the guy from...

The Cranks...

I was, yeah.

So what kind of

condition is it in?

Trust me, man.

This guitar is of

royal lineage.

It's steeped

in musical history.

Well, my partner is the vintage

guitar buff around here.

Trying to move it fast?

Well, when you finish

gauging interest,

why don't you

just bring it on by,

we'll take a look at it.

Sure, I'll do that.

Thank you.

You f***ing loser,

you f***ing loser.

I'm sorry I didn't

make it back.

I'll be in bright and

early tomorrow, I promise.

- Yeah, hello?

- Lachlan?

- Yep.

- It's Beau.

From the farmer's market.

Beau, how ya doin'?

Yeah, of course.

I forgot you gave me your phone

number a few months ago.

Yeah, well, yeah,

I forgot too, completely.

I was thinking that

tomorrow I might just want

to get in my car and drive.

Uh, could I come

check out the farm?

I tell you what, tomorrow

it just so happens

to be my day off, so you're

welcome to come

any time you like.

Okay, yeah, sure.

Thank you.

Hey... Welcome.

All right.

So this is where

all my food comes from.

Well, actually this row

here, see the empty row,

you eat all of that.

So, how did you

start working here?

I grew up on a farm.

I actually know how

to do some of this stuff.

A few years ago when an

opportunity came up,

I thought, back to my roots.

And what do you do here?

Are you immigration

or something?

- No.

- A lot of questions.

I'm just...

I am... I'm curious.

Well, I am, in actual

fact, the manager.

Oh.

Warren sells

loads of these, you know,

direct-to-the-consumer

baskets.

I deal with those and

also handle

the wholesale orders.

How do I sign up for a basket?

Well, I could tell you,

but then you wouldn't

have to come to the market

every Saturday.

True.

That is true.

So here we have Burt and Doris.

Oh-ho.

The mental chickens.

Want to help me feed them?

Um, I think I'm...

I'm good.

Thanks.

I'm good.

Watch this,

I'll just be a second.

Okay.

Get back, beasts.

Great.

No skill required.

You're cheating.

I know you're cheating.

I didn't cheat that time.

But you know,

anything for a win.

Warren, I want to see you,

but I'm on my last

legs here, man.

Yeah?

Pretty active

for a school night, huh?

Ah, come on, Warren.

I'm just having a drink.

All right.

I got your Gatorade.

So tell me...

why did you want

to come and see me today?

I don't know.

I guess I've had your farm's

address tacked up

on my fridge for like months.

And every time I see

you I feel like

you're just as sad as I am.

Oh...

Good night.

Night, night.

You know, I don't-I don't

think I should drive.

Well, neither can I.

Listen, my place ain't much,

but you're welcome to

come stay the night.

Oh, um...

It's cool.

Yeah?

No pressure.

We can get a taxi.

Okay?

Welcome.

You weren't kidding.

Well, I told you.

Well, it's not a bad space,

it's just, I don't know,

it needs a

little straightening up.

It's okay, you can say it.

It needs a woman's touch.

I think it's nice.

Do you still play?

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