
Call Me Lucky Page #5
We would do the show
and after the show
the core would stay.
We'd lock up.
There are fights.
And they were
behind the bar, like...
about the Boston scene
is they had the keys
to the bar.
This place is magic.
And there's been
a lot of magic here.
Kind of like that.
When I was 19,
I was at the other
club owner's party
and I had been drinking
and then I took some acid.
And I might have done
some coke that night,
I don't know.
I was a maniac.
I was blacked out
and I just ripped the
VCR off the television
and threw it out the
window in a snow storm.
I kind of just destroyed
the whole place.
The next day I couldn't
have been less popular.
Like, everybody
kind of abandoned me.
I felt so alone.
I felt horrible.
And Barry just reached
into his pants pocket
and gave me a couple
hundred bucks and he said,
"Why don't you go home
and figure out what you're
going to do with your life. "
And I've been sober ever since.
- We left the Ding one
morning, about 5:30, 6,
and we went to a place on
Mass Ave and it was closed,
or we were there too early,
and I said,
"Why don't we go to
Julia Child's house?"
Welcome to The French Chef.
I'm Julia Child.
1-
This is a cheese souffle.
- So we go down by the
river where she lived,
and we pull in.
Pull into Julia Child's
driveway.
Get out of the car,
bang on the door.
"Julia!
Wake up!
Make us breakfast,
you f***ing b*tch!"
And Crimmins is going'
"We're gonna get arrested,
this is where she lives. "
He looked at the mail,
he goes, I said,
"Yeah, I used to know,
I know used to deliver mail...
I was the paper boy,
like, I was... "
And I go, and he goes,
"You're out of your mind. "
And of course the
whole house woke up
and we managed to
evade the police.
- I remember one time being in
the dressing room with Crimmins.
He used to talk like, you know,
"We're gonna make
a difference here. "
And I'm like, "Uh... does
anyone have any coke'?
Is there coke around?"
happened at the Ding Ho
is everybody became
a cocaine addict.
- So Barry, as you know,
hates cocaine.
- And we all kept it
from him, you know'?
- You doing drugs?
What kind are you on?
- Uh, cocaine.
You want some'?
Uh, no thanks.
- "No, I'm not doing coke.
No, no, no. " You know?
So, you know, "I gotta go
to the bathroom again. "
You know'?
And you go in.
Yeah,...
Do I look all right?
And he knew it.
- I get in the cab one day
to go to the Ding Ho,
where I worked for several
years to make the place happen.
And someone says, "You going
over there to get some blow?"
"Jeez, no, I'm going over
for the prostitutes. "
- Interestingly enough,
he wasn't the alpha.
The alpha was Lenny
and the beta was Barry.
- And he was, you know, he was
cerebral and did his politics,
and I was the exact opposite
end of the spectrum.
'Cause I love women.
Women are probably the
number one reason
why I'm not
a homosexual today.
Okay, I blew one guy but
I needed a ride real bad.
Ah, you're great.
I'm kidding you,
I'm teasing you, folks.
I didn't need the ride.
See, the thing is...
my, my right wing,
my right wing nut job stuff...
because I pulled people
into the club.
And he was not a stupid man.
and so he says,
"We'll put up with your bullshit
because you bring people in.
But you're wrong!
You're wrong!"
There was the night I
walked in with a chainsaw
and I f***in' sawed one
of the tables in half
and the f***in' place- I said,
"Any hecklers here tonight?"
And the f***ing
crowd went crazy,
and Crimmins was steaming,
just steaming.
Couldn't wait to f***ing get me.
And he says, "Are you
out of your f***ing mind'?
What if that f***ing chain broke
and went up and sliced someone's
f***ing face in half?"
I go, "Wow, man, that
would have been cool. "
But you know,
in retrospect, he's right.
What if I hit a,
what if I hit, like,
a screw or something,
and the chain, like,
you know?
People,
they don't want to maimed.
They want to laugh 'till they
puke or piss their pants
but they don't want to
be maimed, you know'?
To this day I think he
was a great hero to me.
And I'm sure he was the
Antichrist to Crimmins,
and he said so on stage.
But I'm testimony to the
fact that his compassion,
his humanity, isn't restricted
to people that agree with him.
- You know, we were very
close and very different.
son of more about depression.
He's also one of the few
people I know who gets
more articulate the angrier
and more upset he gets.
- Forgive me, and if I seem
like I'm threatening stuff
I'm negative or whatever...
no, but there's just a lot
of bullshit out there
and I have all week
to notice it
and you guys don't so
I just try to report to you,
and I mean well, and if I
seem negative or whatever,
please, it just means
and everybody else has
given up so who's positive
and who's negative in
that deal? I don't know.
- You may recall, in 2005,
there was a woman,
Cindy Sheehan, who had
lost her son in the war.
And she wanted to
see George W. Bush.
And she went down to Texas
and she was waiting
outside the ranch.
- I don't want any
more children to die.
I'm a broken-hearted morn.
Why would I want
one more mother
to go through what
I'm going through
- It started off a little slow
with seven people
and then Barry came down.
He was there for weeks.
I mean, he... I mean, hundreds
as a result of his efforts.
see what was happening'
how the media and other
forces were coming
to kind of spread
their own message.
He is deeply offended
that the world doesn't
think these things
are as important as
the world says they are.
He would like the world
to be a principled place.
be an honorable profession.
He would like the world
(o share his values.
And one of the ways it's
expressed when he's on stage
is in the tremendous
kindness that he shows
to the audiences
he's screaming at.
You know'?
- Barry Francis Crimmins
is f***ing ashamed
of the United States
of America right now.
You should all be... if
you've got no f***ing courage,
if you don't stand up
against this bullshit,
and you don't believe,
go read some Tom Payne
and then see what you
should do right now.
You decide what you do right
now because I'm embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed
to live in a country
where everyone's
cowed into bullshit.
"Oh, well, well, but
you know in the end
we're still the greatest land-
We suck right now.
in 2004 sucks right now
and is an embarrassment.
So lets see if that
makes the cut.
I hope it does.
If it does,
you're watching a good movie.
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"Call Me Lucky" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 11 Mar. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/call_me_lucky_4956>.
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