Call Me Lucky Page #5

We would do the show

and after the show

the core would stay.

We'd lock up.

There are fights.

And they were

behind the bar, like...

the first thing I noticed

about the Boston scene

is they had the keys

to the bar.

This place is magic.

And there's been

a lot of magic here.

Kind of like that.

When I was 19,

I was at the other

club owner's party

and I had been drinking

and then I took some acid.

And I might have done

some coke that night,

I don't know.

I was a maniac.

I was blacked out

and I just ripped the

VCR off the television

and threw it out the

window in a snow storm.

I kind of just destroyed

the whole place.

The next day I couldn't

have been less popular.

Like, everybody

kind of abandoned me.

I felt so alone.

I felt horrible.

And Barry just reached

into his pants pocket

and gave me a couple

hundred bucks and he said,

"Why don't you go home

and figure out what you're

going to do with your life. "

And I've been sober ever since.

- We left the Ding one

morning, about 5:30, 6,

and we went to a place on

Mass Ave and it was closed,

or we were there too early,

and I said,

"Why don't we go to

Julia Child's house?"

Welcome to The French Chef.

I'm Julia Child.

1-

This is a cheese souffle.

- So we go down by the

river where she lived,

and we pull in.

Pull into Julia Child's

driveway.

Get out of the car,

bang on the door.

"Julia!

Wake up!

Make us breakfast,

you f***ing b*tch!"

And Crimmins is going'

"We're gonna get arrested,

this is where she lives. "

He looked at the mail,

he goes, I said,

"Yeah, I used to know,

I know used to deliver mail...

I was the paper boy,

like, I was... "

And I go, and he goes,

"You're out of your mind. "

And of course the

whole house woke up

and we managed to

evade the police.

- I remember one time being in

the dressing room with Crimmins.

He used to talk like, you know,

"We're gonna make

a difference here. "

And I'm like, "Uh... does

anyone have any coke'?

Is there coke around?"

- The most insane thing that

happened at the Ding Ho

is everybody became

a cocaine addict.

- So Barry, as you know,

hates cocaine.

- And we all kept it

from him, you know'?

- You doing drugs?

What kind are you on?

- Uh, cocaine.

You want some'?

Uh, no thanks.

- "No, I'm not doing coke.

No, no, no. " You know?

So, you know, "I gotta go

to the bathroom again. "

You know'?

And you go in.

Yeah,...

Do I look all right?

And he knew it.

- I get in the cab one day

to go to the Ding Ho,

where I worked for several

years to make the place happen.

And someone says, "You going

over there to get some blow?"

"Jeez, no, I'm going over

for the prostitutes. "

- Interestingly enough,

he wasn't the alpha.

The alpha was Lenny

and the beta was Barry.

- And he was, you know, he was

cerebral and did his politics,

and I was the exact opposite

end of the spectrum.

'Cause I love women.

Women are probably the

number one reason

why I'm not

a homosexual today.

Okay, I blew one guy but

I needed a ride real bad.

Ah, you're great.

I'm kidding you,

I'm teasing you, folks.

I didn't need the ride.

See, the thing is...

- He would overlook my,

my, my right wing,

my right wing nut job stuff...

because I pulled people

into the club.

And he was not a stupid man.

He saw me bringing people in,

and so he says,

"We'll put up with your bullshit

because you bring people in.

But you're wrong!

You're wrong!"

There was the night I

walked in with a chainsaw

and I f***in' sawed one

of the tables in half

and the f***in' place- I said,

"Any hecklers here tonight?"

And sawed the table m half.

And the f***ing

crowd went crazy,

and Crimmins was steaming,

just steaming.

Couldn't wait to f***ing get me.

And he says, "Are you

out of your f***ing mind'?

What if that f***ing chain broke

and went up and sliced someone's

f***ing face in half?"

I go, "Wow, man, that

would have been cool. "

But you know,

in retrospect, he's right.

What if I hit a,

what if I hit, like,

a screw or something,

and the chain, like,

you know?

People,

they don't want to maimed.

They want to laugh 'till they

puke or piss their pants

but they don't want to

be maimed, you know'?

I voted for Ronald Reagan.

To this day I think he

was a great hero to me.

And I'm sure he was the

Antichrist to Crimmins,

and he said so on stage.

But I'm testimony to the

fact that his compassion,

his humanity, isn't restricted

to people that agree with him.

- You know, we were very

close and very different.

He's more about anger and I'm

son of more about depression.

He's also one of the few

people I know who gets

more articulate the angrier

and more upset he gets.

- Forgive me, and if I seem

like I'm threatening stuff

or going after stuff,

I'm negative or whatever...

no, but there's just a lot

of bullshit out there

and I have all week

to notice it

and you guys don't so

I just try to report to you,

and I mean well, and if I

seem negative or whatever,

please, it just means

I'm still in there pitching

and everybody else has

given up so who's positive

and who's negative in

that deal? I don't know.

- You may recall, in 2005,

there was a woman,

Cindy Sheehan, who had

lost her son in the war.

And she wanted to

see George W. Bush.

And she went down to Texas

and she was waiting

outside the ranch.

- I don't want any

more children to die.

I'm a broken-hearted morn.

Why would I want

one more mother

to go through what

I'm going through

just because Casey is dead?

- It started off a little slow

with seven people

and then Barry came down.

He was there for weeks.

I mean, he... I mean, hundreds

and hundreds of media came

as a result of his efforts.

- I think he could also

see what was happening'

how the media and other

forces were coming

to kind of spread

their own message.

He is deeply offended

that the world doesn't

think these things

are as important as

the world says they are.

He would like the world

to be a principled place.

He would like politics to

be an honorable profession.

He would like the world

(o share his values.

And one of the ways it's

expressed when he's on stage

is in the tremendous

kindness that he shows

to the audiences

he's screaming at.

You know'?

- Barry Francis Crimmins

is f***ing ashamed

of the United States

of America right now.

You should all be... if

you've got no f***ing courage,

if you don't stand up

against this bullshit,

and you don't believe,

go read some Tom Payne

and then see what you

should do right now.

You decide what you do right

now because I'm embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed

to live in a country

where everyone's

cowed into bullshit.

"Oh, well, well, but

you know in the end

we're still the greatest land-

We suck right now.

The United States of America

in 2004 sucks right now

and is an embarrassment.

So lets see if that

makes the cut.

I hope it does.

If it does,

you're watching a good movie.

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