Capers Page #6

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on our own.

We need to prove ourselves.

- Let me show you something.

- We've been on this case

since the beginning.

- But when we started

surveillance,

we realized we weren't the only

ones watching this place.

You didn't know

about each other,

but we knew about you.

And while we watched

you all fumble around,

we just gathered evidence

and waited to make our move.

- The boss had noticed us

working late every night,

and now suddenly,

he was taking an interest.

- Girls, I've noticed

something recently.

You seem unsatisfied.

Is everything okay?

- Well, no.

- What's wrong?

- Why are we still doing

desk work?

- Why haven't we been promoted?

- Honestly, girls,

you still haven't proved

yourselves in the field,

or, for that matter,

in this office.

[giggling]

[together]

We want to go undercover.

- I like the sound of that.

Now, let's see how you handle

the head of the FBl.

- I think I figured out a way

we can both relax.

- Mmm, I'm all yours.

- Hey!

This one was imagining us

as lesbians, Samantha.

I saw him!

- No!

No, I wasn't thinking that.

- Listen, jackass, we're not

here for you to drool over.

- We are senior agents

of the Federal Bureau

of lnvestigation, buddy!

- Okay!

Okay, you followed us here.

No lesbian stuff happened.

- Okay, everyone,

drop your weapons

and put your hands up!

- What are you doing?

- What they said.

- Pick up your gun.

We got 'em outnumbered.

- No, that's okay.

I wanna go with them.

- Dino, pick up your gun.

- Drop 'em or he dies.

Now, I've done this

a few times already.

So if I kill him,

makes no difference.

But you two are gonna

get in some serious trouble.

So I suggest you throw

those guns on the ground.

Somebody tie 'em up.

- I'll do it.

- So what do we do about the--

What the hell?

Did she just swallow that thing?

- Fat American.

- Emily, did you just eat that?

- Why'd you do that, baby?

- Chocolate.

- It was chocolate?

- Emily, honey,

that wasn't chocolate.

- Oh, so it's my fault?

- Somebody needs to

make that girl throw up!

- Cough it up, kid!

Cough it up!

- Whee!

- Put her down!

Put her down!

- No one's got an extra gun?

- Either she coughs it up

or I gut her right here.

- Put her down, Big Jim.

We said we'd split the loot.

- We don't even know

what that thing is.

- They do.

- What was in safe?

- Spit it out.

- It's the Double Eagle.

- What's that?

- First issued in 1850,

the Double Eagle gold piece

was struck using gold ore

from the California Gold Rush.

- President Franklin Roosevelt

discontinued the coin

when he eliminated

the Gold Standard

during the Great Depression.

- Yes.

All coins in circulation

were confiscated.

All but three were recovered

and melted.

Two were given

to the Smithsonian.

- The last was retained

by King Farouk of Egypt.

- But the king was deposed

in a coup d'etat,

and the coin disappeared

for 50 years.

[together] Dino.

- I'm Dino.

Sorry.

- Shortly after September 11th,

a relief worker admitted

to stealing a coin

he'd found outside a destroyed

World Trade Center vault.

- He confessed to selling

the coin to a certain pawnshop,

but local police

suspiciously dropped the case.

- Connie.

- We're senior agents

with the Federal Bureau

of lnvestigation.

- Numismatics Division.

- That is so hot.

- How much is it worth?

- It doesn't matter.

You can't steal a coin

that famous

and then auction it.

- Yeah, yeah,

just give us a number.

- It is a priceless

American artifact

and a symbol of our history.

- Estimate.

- The Smithsonian auctioned

one of theirs

Iast year at Christie's

for $8 million.

- Big Jim?

Why don't you put the kid down

real slow.

- Emily, are you okay,

sweetheart?

- Don't be scared, baby.

- We are splitting little girl,

correct?

- Y'all need to back up.

- It's worthless!

- You just said it's worth

- We told you,

you can't auction it,

and you can't fence it either.

No one on the street

will touch it.

It belongs to Connie.

- We ain't got to worry

about her anymore.

- And what about her ghost?

- Where?

- What do you mean?

- You killed her.

- But we didn't mean to.

- Doesn't matter.

You'll have every goon

in the country chasing you

for the rest of your lives.

[horn honks]

- Sounds like

they're right outside.

- Come on, move it, move it.

Hurry up.

- We can make a deal.

- We can protect you.

The goons don't have to know

you were ever here.

Let them blame the Feds.

- We can give you anything

you want.

- Anything?

- Anything.

- We want a boat.

- We want green card.

- Cold hard cash.

- Diversified portfolio?

- I want a pony!

- I want a pony!

- Okay, okay, stop.

We'll take care of all of you

if you just give us the girl.

She's got the coin.

- No deal.

We're not giving her up

for nothin'.

- You are going to be running

from us

and from them forever.

- Connie!

Connie!

- Is that really what you want

for your little girl?

- All right.

- Ronald!

- I don't want her on the run

for the rest of her life.

- Connie?

- Are you all right in there?

- Well, help me.

- Hey, sweetie.

You're gonna have to go

with the girls now.

- But what did I do wrong?

- You didn't do anything wrong,

baby.

It's just that

that coin you ate,

well, it doesn't belong to us.

So you're gonna

have to give it back.

- Oh.

Okay.

- Give me that crowbar.

- Open this door!

- The deal's still on?

- Well--

- Hey, you got the coin back.

- A deal's a deal.

- Or we could leave you

tied up for goons.

- I'm giving you

to the count of three.

One.

- The deal is still good.

Just untie us

and get out of here.

- I got it.

- What's going on in there?

- Open up, I said!

- See you ladies

down at headquarters.

- Open this door

or we're gonna break it down,

I swear!

- Hey, who's in there?

- You better let us in.

I'm telling ya.

[giggling]

- Hi.

- Connie!

Connie!

[together] Freeze!

[sirens blaring]

- Hey, take it easy, huh?

I'm going in; I'm going in.

- Lieutenants.

You'd better come

take a look at this.

- I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

a Yankee Doodle do or die

A real live nephew

of my Uncle Sam

born on the Fourth of July

I've got

a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

she's my Yankee Doodle joy

[cell phone rings]

- Manhattan Cable.

Slava speaking, how I help you?

Mmm.

Okay.

I be there between today

and Thursday.

If you not home,

I never come back.

Thank you for calling

Manhattan Cable.

- I am

that Yankee Doodle boy.

- All right guys,

let's take five.

We'll come back, do it again.

- It looks good.

- Mommy, can l

skip chess practice?

- You ready for your tournament?

- Yes.

- Are you sure?

- I'm working late, baby.

- I haven't seen you all week.

- I'm sorry,

but they're working me.

- I haven't seen you either,

Daddy.

- I'm sorry, sweetie.

- Well, they need to give you

a day off.

- That's the deal, baby.

Come on now, ready for school?

- Guys, let me congratulate you

on your first boat.

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