Captain Newman, M.D. Page #4

be dangerous.

I know it's dangerous,

but you've got to do it.

He might kill himself.

If I try to take that

knife away from him,

he'll kill me.

All right.

Hold him in the shower

till I get there. Right?

Jake! Jake!

Let me out of here!

Damn you.

(SHOUTlNG)

Doc said

take away the knife.

Who?

He didn't say.

All right, all right!

I'm elected. Let go.

Are you sure?

No, I'm not sure,

you dumbhead.

All right!

One, two, let go.

Pigs!

(GRUNTlNG)

(MEN GROANlNG)

Pharmacy key.

KOPP:
Come on.

Everybody, get back.

Come on.

Back in your beds.

Come on.

Doc, look at this baby.

I better go in with you,

that Bliss is as strong

as an ox.

Bleeding to death,

I'm not.

You just wait here.

You... You filthy,

scheming meddler.

I'll kill you,

kill you, kill you...

You are not gonna

kill anyone,

do you hear me?

Where the devil do

you think you are?

In some jungle

free-for-all?

What do you mean,

coming in here

endangering my men?

Who asked you to

meddle in my life?

Who gave you

the right to probe

and to spy on me?

You did.

By your actions.

Take a good look

at yourself, Colonel,

and then tell me

I did the wrong thing.

Look at yourself.

Is this what

you would have

done overseas?

Damn your eyes.

God shrivel your heart

and consume your

monstrous brain.

You're vile.

Vile! Vile! Vile!

Vicious contempt.

Get hold of yourself.

Remember who you are.

You are Colonel

Norval Algate Bliss.

A command officer.

Remember that.

Colonel Norval Algate Bliss.

Now behave yourself.

Put your arms down, Colonel.

Put your arms down.

You swine. You...

You clever,

scheming swine.

Take it easy, Colonel.

You need lots of sleep.

Why do you fight me?

Here we go.

Let's get to bed.

Right now.

Into bed. Into bed.

Peppy.

All right. Show's over.

Everybody back to bed.

Okay, Doc.

That's all.

All right.

You better have Blodgett

take a look at that cut

and hit the sack.

I'm on duty, Doc.

Well, get Ruskin

to relieve you.

I'm relieved

enough already.

Come on, Stan.

I suppose you...

You had to shout

at him like that.

I wasn't shouting at him,

I was shouting

at his symptoms.

Good night, Doc.

Good night, Ralph.

Everything's fine.

Mama? Mama, please

get me out of here.

Hello, Dave.

Hello, Dave.

Mama, please.

Mama. Please, Mama.

Get me out of here.

Did you write to your

girlfriend today, Dave?

Please, Mama.

Get me out of here.

Mama, Mama, please.

Did you write to

your girlfriend today?

You said you would.

Did you write to her?

Yeah.

Yes, the same

old malarkey.

(LAUGHlNG)

Same old malarkey.

Well, why don't you

write to her again

tomorrow, huh?

NEWMAN:
Give her a break.

DAVE:
Okay.

Good night, Dave.

Good night, Doctor.

Good night.

GAVONl:
This way, fellows.

Can you spare four beds

and a room, Lieutenant?

I think so.

Good. Here.

Come on. Straight ahead,

fellow. Everybody's your

friend here.

Just follow your buddy

in there. It's okay.

Straight ahead.

Come on, buddy.

Nothing to worry about.

Straight ahead.

Room C, Arkie.

All right.

Jordan is scheduled

for pentothal at 2:00.

Okay.

Do you want me to

give you the rest

of the scam

on that kid in Ward 3?

Leibowitz, it's not part

of an orderly's duties

to run around the hospital

drumming up new business.

From such business, who,

but the sick, can profit?

His name is Tompkins.

He's a corporal, like me.

Now, for five nights

in a row, he has

snuck out of his ward

and got himself plastered.

They seem to think

they've got an ordinary

lush on their hands,

but in my opinion,

he is a disturbed

personality.

Cocky, but tense.

But he doesn't fool me.

My diagnosis is

depression, agitated,

troublemaker.

Well, I hope you

didn't tell him that.

Maybe I'm fresh.

Stupid, no.

What I did tell him,

though, was to come over

and take a load off

his emotions and see you.

Boy, did I give you

a terrific recommendation.

Thanks. Young doctor

starting out needs

all the help he can get.

Say, I thought

I told you to shave.

I beg your pardon, Captain.

What you said was,

"Why didn't you

shave this morning?"

That's not an order.

That's a question.

To which you have

an answer which

I've already heard,

"lf God had intended

men should have

clean cheeks,

"would he have

invented hair?"

Shave.

I understand, Doc.

You are releasing

your hostilities on me.

Very good.

I want you to do it

because I don't want you

should develop an ulcer.

I don't want you

should develop a beard.

You'd better get into

the ward. Bliss has

started to move and talk.

When did it happen?

Must have been in

the last hour or so.

I pulled Blodgett's

morning report.

"Sixteenth day

of observation,

"patient still lethargic,

still refuses to speak."

We'll need 15 replacements

for operational aircraft.

Recent strikes at Rabal

suggest that a monthly quota

be set up for this unit.

Ground personnel is

adequate but borderline.

I granted no appointment

for this hour. Dismissed.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm dismissed before

I've even come in.

Oh, the caduceus.

You're a doctor.

I'm Captain Newman.

And from my dreary abode,

I conclude that

you're one of

the perceptive ones

who babble brightly.

You see, Doctor,

I'm thoroughly conversed

with your psychiatric jargon.

Please, do come in.

Come in.

Well, proceed.

This should be refreshing.

I'm bored, Doctor.

I am bored with

being beleaguered

by brainless,

benighted blockheads.

And I'm bored with B's.

I think I shall

concentrate on P's for

the rest of the afternoon.

How do you feel?

(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)

Standard opening.

You disappoint me.

Have you no imagination?

I'm holding it in reserve.

You've got enough

for both of us, Colonel.

Colonel? Colonel?

My name is Future,

not Colonel.

I see.

What a pity

Mr. Past is not here.

He'd be

amused by you.

Mr. Past. Who's he?

He's a friend.

A very close,

very special friend.

I gave my word, sir,

as an officer

and a gentleman,

never to reveal

his whereabouts.

Lips sealed.

Ergo, in your hospital,

you have me, Mr. Future,

about whom

you know nothing,

while in your files

rests a dossier

on Mr. Past,

who is nowhere to be found.

One patient with

no case history,

one case history

with no patient.

(LAUGHlNG)

What a paradox?

No. What a triumph.

Well,

I can see that

we're just wasting time.

Oh, no, now please,

don't go.

I'm enjoying your visit.

Well, I don't doubt it,

but, you see, I didn't

come here

for the purpose

of providing

a patronizing patient

with a plethora of

private pleasure.

Bravo, bravo, seven P's.

Is Mr. Future mad, sir?

I repeat.

Is Mr. Future mad?

Or is he not mad?

Mr. Future is

an invention.

Bless my soul.

Oh, penetrating prophet

of the psyche.

Is he incurable?

I can't tell yet.

You see, most people

talk to reveal.

You talk to conceal.

But to a good psychiatrist,

isn't the act of concealment

very revealing in itself?

Mr. Future,

you're too intelligent a man

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