Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Page #7

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Don't you say that, Harold!

Don't you leave me!

Attention everyone!

Poopypants here with a little

update on the Poopageddon.

Due to the success

of my plan thus far...

We decided to wipe out laughter

on the entire planet.

After that, you know,

I'll probably

move on to other planets...

Jupiter, Mars...

can't forget Uranus!

Wait. Did he just say...

Your anus.

I know!

Uranus!

Yeah, and once I'm through

with the gas giants...

I figure I'll go

after the other galaxies...

What?

It feels so good to laugh!

No, stop it! Stop laughing!

You're ruining everything!

Yikes!

Extra credit or survival?

Extra credit or survival?

I choose survival!

Uh-oh!

Oh, yeah!

Wow!

No, how could this be happening?

Never underestimate

the power of laughter,

Poopypants!

Oh, that's the stupidest thing

I've ever heard.

Oh!

Ah! Whoa!

Harold! Harold, we did it!

Harold?

I think I bruised a rib.

Because I've never laughed

so hard in my life!

Oh, we'll see who's laughing

once I shrink you down...

where you will live

in my pocket forever...

amongst my

cherry-flavored lip balm...

my butterscotch-flavored

lip balm...

Oh, neato!

My mint-flavored

lip balm...

my extra-moisturized

SPF lip balm...

and all of my lip balms!

Why does one person have

so much lip balm?

Help!

Help!

Please, anyone! Help!

Help!

Ooh, I hope you can find

tiny enough pens...

to make your small,

little comic books with...

'cause you're about to

get smallified!

Tra-la-laa!

I feel...

awesome!

No way!

He has real superpowers!

Oh, that is an obvious twist

that I did not see coming...

despite my many years

of comic book studies!

I have come to save the day!

Yay!

Yeah, and I've come to ruin it!

So back off, buddy!

Ha-ha!

Ew, that's gross!

Oh, there's more

where that came from.

Monday! Tuesday!

Wednesday! Thursday!

Ha-ha! Unlimited underpants!

I am so glad that we gave him

that superpower!

My Sizerator!

Well, it's mine now!

Alas!

The final failure

for Professor Poopypants.

Hmm. What does this button do?

Oh...

Well, hello down there!

No!

Must be holding it backwards.

Yup. That was it.

Wow. He is super dumb.

I can't reach.

Time to take you down

once and for all, Poopypants!

Buzz off!

Captain Underpants!

Fly over here

so we can make you big again!

Crackerjack idea.

George, just don't...

No!

Ha-ha!

Give him a big hand

for that one, everybody!

Get him.

Whoops.

Look what I've got.

A tiny school

filled with tiny children...

and their tiny teachers

whose tiny salaries...

reflect their size and also...

the value society puts

on education.

I'll take that!

Oh! Then I'll take that!

Ow! Did you just slap me?

Yes, I did.

And you deserved it.

No, I didn't! Your hand

is huge! That hurt a lot!

Give it back, it's mine!

No! Hands off!

No fair! No backsies!

Give it to me!

Would you just give me that?

Now look what you've done!

Give it!

George!

Gotcha!

Yeah, that's more like it!

Nice work, sidekicks!

I'll just put this back down

right here.

No, no, no!

Captain Underpants...

There we go. Back to normal...

like it never happened.

Oh, no, where'd he go?

You'll never catch me!

You can't stop

Professor Poopypants!

Get back here!

I can't reach!

Get him, Captain Underpants!

A bee!

Get away from me!

I'm free!

What? What the...

Why would you do that?

You just let

the bad guy get away!

Come on, guys. Pretty sure

the bee wasn't the bad guy.

What the heck happened here?

You're welcome, peace keeper!

Would you keep it down?

Did not see that coming!

Take that, Doctor Diaper!

I can't believe we made him.

And he's even dumber

in real life.

Oh! Look! Little dolphins!

We have to get rid of him,

don't we?

I think we do.

I mean,

he's a way bigger problem

than Mr. Krupp ever was.

But, you know, George...

bringing back Krupp

permanently...

we'll never be

in the same class again.

Yeah, I know.

But just 'cause we're

in separate classes,

doesn't mean

we can't be friends...

Well, yeah. I mean, we'll

always be friends. Right?

Yeah. Hey, in fact,

you know what?

Let's do a blood oath.

But minus the blood. I don't

wanna see the blood. No blood.

Pinky swear?

No, that's lame. Mmm-mmm.

Oh, got it!

Oh, no. What? No!

That's not sanitary.

Can't we just do

a verbal declaration

of friendship or something?

Oh. Okay. Yeah, wow.

I haven't really

prepared anything, but...

I, Harold...

hereby declare George

as my best friend,

permanently, forever.

And I, George, accept

the permanent rights...

that Harold has given me

to be his best friend forever...

and the constitution

of friends...

America, friendship.

And the United States

of America.

Land and the United States.

Good, okay, yeah.

It's done. All right, cool.

Phew.

What a relief.

Yeah, no kidding.

I mean,

why were we even worried...

about that whole classroom

thing in the first place?

You know, I don't know.

We were younger then.

Clearly, we have grown.

Clearly, we have.

Chums!

Thank you for chronicling

my surprisingly

grounded biography.

The truth is a slippery thing.

And you nailed it.

Now it is time to fly again!

Farewell, my dear sidekicks.

Goodbye, Captain Underpants.

Goodbye.

George! Harold!

What am I doing in your

tree house again?

You boys are in big trouble!

I don't know how big yet...

Why does this keep happening?

Where are my clothes?

Where are they?

I don't get it.

Why is Krupp so angry

and Captain Underpants so happy?

Maybe it's because

Captain Underpants had us.

You know, he had friends.

We could fix that.

Yeah, you know, we could.

So that's how we came

to pull the rarest prank

of all...

The prank...

for good.

Huh?

"Do you want to go a date?"

A date?

"Love, Edith."

"Principal Krupp."

Oh!

Benjamin Krupp, you sly dog.

Edith, the lunch lady.

Big plans tonight, Mr. Krupp?

No! What?

That's none of your business!

But, if you must know...

yeah, I actually do.

By the way,

I was tidying up my office...

and I believe

these belong to you...

Our comics?

Did you just pull that out

of the garbage can?

Well, I read them...

and considering

they're completely

implausible, juvenile...

and filled with

the lowest form of wit...

potty humor...

they're actually pretty funny.

See ya later!

Well, how about that...

That's a good one.

You know, it feels good to do

something nice for Mr. Krupp.

Yeah, you know what? It does.

Promise we'll never do it again.

Promise.

Oh, my!

I've never been to

such a fancy restaurant before.

Well, I had to go all out

for m'lady.

Okay, if you say so, my man!

Once again,

that brings our story

to its happy conclusion.

I think there's some valuable

life lessons in there...

somewhere.

What the?

Eat 'em up, yum, yum!

You gotta be kidding me! No!

Yum, yum! Eat 'em up!

Oh, no!

Waiter! Check please!

Principal Krupp!

Oh, no!

Help!

Hang on, sidekicks!

I don't get it!

I really thought

breaking that ring

would get rid of his powers!

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