Car Dogs Page #4

in hopes of earning

the manufacturer's favor

for the new store

in the east valley,

but what you might not know

is that last week,

we were chosen

to be one of the finalists.

All right.

Yes.

Which resulted in Detroit

sending us some

new payroll software,

in the hopes that by the time

the new store is awarded,

we would have had

the bugs worked out.

Now, clearly

that has not happened,

so I went to my old man, and I convinced

him to manually cut your checks,

so in addition to the $5,000

in spiff money I have

for you guys this weekend,

I can also guarantee

that you will be paid on Monday.

My man.

All right.

Whoo!

Forgive me for not joining

in the festivities,

but it's not like we haven't heard

this before, and quite frankly,

it's always turned out

to be a load of horseshit.

Yeah, seriously, boss.

Yeah, well, guess what.

I'm not Reynolds.

Clearly, but, uh, why don't you

tell 'em the catch, boss?

What the f***, Reynolds?

Just hang on, everybody.

Calm down.

F***! See?

Here's the horseshit.

Hey, Max, how many f***ing cars

do you have out for the

month, anyway? Four?

You think you're even

getting a check?

Sh*t, if I were you,

I'd be more concerned

about getting my walking

papers than a check.

What's the catch?

300 cars.

By when?

5:
00 P.M. today.

And where are we now?

Pbbt.

35 cars in eight hours?

I mean, I don't want to

piss on the fire with Max,

but this isn't exactly 2007.

I mean, what do you

think the odds are

of accomplishing that

when our best day

in the last five years

has been 20?

Well, I don't know.

How many cars do you

have out this month, Christian?

Okay.

And I'm sorry.

Just refresh my memory.

What's your bonus payout,

just roughly, on those 26 cars?

Uh, roughly $4,373.23.

Roughly.

So what do you stand

to make if you hit 30?

30-unit bonus, an additional

five or six grand.

Whew.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would say the chances

are pretty good.

'Cause with the exception

of a few of you,

Christian's not the

only one in this room

with a seat at that table,

so the way I see it,

hitting 300 is the only option.

So what does that mean?

It means that today,

every single person

that steps foot on this lot

is a stone-cold buyer,

without exception.

What does that mean?

It means that they're

properly greeted.

Hello,

Mr. and Mrs. customer.

Welcome to

the Chamberlain auto team.

My name is mark.

How can I help you today?

You take control

of that deal from the start,

doing all of those little things

that that Jack-off

at the store they just left

didn't do. I'm talking

about prequalifying them,

landing them

on the right vehicle,

giving them

the proper walk-around.

You go with them

on the test drive.

Assumptive closing

the whole way.

So, Mr. and Mrs. customer,

where do you plan on taking that

first vacation in your new vehicle?

They answer you, it means

they're taking ownership.

You assumptive close

when you get back to the lot

by having them park that car

in the sold row.

They do, they're taking

ownership again.

Then you bring them inside,

you sit them down,

and you get them something

to eat and drink.

Now, quick, $250 cash in fist

right now

to the first person

who can tell me

why we provide

free hot dogs and sodas.

And, no, before you say it,

it's not to keep your asses fat.

Hey, Brady,

I'm talking to you, pal.

Quinn, now. Go.

Uh, because after you've eaten,

you're always tired

and less combative.

And...

And when you're

given some for free,

you feel more

obligated to listen.

Bingo.

So, last, but not least,

it means that you get

those three cs,

credit app, cash,

and commitment.

You ask for that sale.

You don't leave

a penny on the table,

and no one...

And I mean no one...

Leaves this store with fewer than

three people talking to them.

I don't care if you're having

a problem with the customer.

You turn them,

because half of something

is better than...

All of nothing!

All of nothing!

Now, do you understand me?!

Yes! Yes! Come on!

I said,

"do you understand me?!"

Yes!

Yes!

Let's get fired up and go

sell some f***ing cars!

Let's do this, boss man.

Nice one.

Let's go, guys. Come on.

Boyd:
Bam. Bam.

Go get 'em.

Come on.

Let's go, Griggs.

Let's get to it.

Not bad, Knute Rockne.

Thanks.

Let's sell some cars, right?

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Let's go, Griggs!

Let's sell some cars!

Whoo!

This is the 4-square,

where the negotiating begins.

Remember the number one rule

in the car business.

You sell on your feet.

You negotiate in your seat.

By the time the customer sits,

the question isn't whether

or not they're buying,

but how do they plan

on paying for it,

and more importantly, how

much money are we gonna make?

Max:
You shitting me?

Don't look at me like that, Max.

Come on. You know

on the first pencil,

you gotta scrape 'em

off the ceiling.

Go make the deal, man.

Boyd, what office?

64-03.

Sure. Call and negotiate

if you want, but come on.

You know he's up there plotting

with his manager, just trying to...

There's not

a customer on the planet

that won't tell you the same thing.

"F***ing hate the negotiation process.

"Why do you have to keep going back and

forth, checking with your manager?

Why can't you just give me the

bottom-line price right off the bat?"

'Cause, green pea, listen,

if it truly was the bottom-line

price I was giving them,

they would still feel like

they were getting f***ed.

Because of the number one

rule in the car business.

Sell on your feet.

Negotiate in your seat.

The customer always

has to feel like he won,

like he got himself a good deal.

It's one of the main reasons

why we negotiate.

And trust me,

he wants nothing more

than to walk

in the office on Monday

and say, "those cocksuckers

didn't get over on me.

I got over on them."

Wow, man, you gotta

be kidding me.

Really? 665 a month?

Come on. Are you trying

to screw me up the...

Now, another reason we negotiate

is we can pencil in high

on the first round of numbers,

because you never know.

You might get lucky,

step on your own dick,

and find the guy

who's willing to pay it

because of the number one rule.

The customer always want

to feel like they won.

Sit on...

Sell on your feet.

Negotiate in your seat.

You can always go down

in price, green pea,

but you can never,

ever go back up.

You know there's three

number-one rules, right?

Mr. Stephens, I can

fully appreciate that.

I'm looking at the ad myself,

but you're comparing...

apples to oranges, Mr.

Brenner.

If you're looking at

price, that's fine,

but I gotta warn you...

It's a widely known fact,

Mrs. brown,

that nice cars aren't cheap,

and cheap cars aren't nice.

Sheri, I am sorry.

I am not showing

any dark graphite metallic

four-doors in stock.

Sure. I would be happy

to check for you.

Uh, can you call back

in, say, 10 minutes?

What the f*** are you doing?

Put her on hold.

Sheri, can you, uh, hold

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