Career Girls Page #5

- Shall we go and look for him?

- Yeah.

Could you tell him that

Annie and Hannah called, please?

- Right.

- Okay. Thanks a lot then.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Bye.

Bye.

Oh, hello. Didn't recognize you with clothes on.

Excuse me!

Is that Mr. Evans?

- Eh?

- Uh, we were supposed to be here at 2:00.

- Oh, it's Claudine, isn't it?

- Claudine?

- Has Andy put you up to this?

- Who?

I've heard all about you.

Who's your lovely friend?

Oh, right. I think we're talking

at cross purposes, actually.

We were supposed to be here

at 2:
00 to view the flat, yeah?

- And Jerry Wall said he'd spoken to you.

- No, no. That's bollocks.

- Well, didn't he phone you, then?

- No, he told me tomorrow.

- Oh, great. Bloody waste of time, this.

- No, he definitely said today.

- Uh...

- Oh, look. Just forget it.

No, no. Tell you what,

darling. Come up.

All right, darling.

Where shall we come?

Eighth floor, turn right. Okay?

- What do you think?

- Well, yeah.

- Is this the way?

- No, the lift's over here.

Like a bloody hotel, isn't it?

- Come on. It's great.

- I can't!

- You won't fall out.

- It doesn't make any difference.

- Don't know what you're missing.

- I don't care.

See, the reason it slopes is so that

when the chickens lay the eggs...

the eggs can roll

down to the bottom.

- It's a giant omelet factory, isn't it?

- Oh, thank God for that.

- Are you all right?

- Now I am, yeah.

- It's this way, isn't it?

- No, I think it's to the right.

- Hello?

- Yeah.

All right. Come in, girls.

- If this is inconvenient...

- No, no. I was just brushing my teeth.

Come in. Come in.

- Go on. Straight up.

- Hello.

Hello.

- You've got an upstairs.

- Yeah, it's a split-level.

Six-hundred square feet each floor.

So this must be the original artwork

Jerry was telling me about.

- Lady Godiva.

- No, that's my ex-girlfriend.

- Well, at least you have to look up to her.

- Hang on a sec.

- Fancy a cup of tea?

- Uh, no, thanks.

We can't stay very long, actually.

- No, that's right.

- How about beer?

- No, thank you.

- Glass of wine?

- No, thanks.

- I'll open a bottle. Come on.

Uh, is that a microwave?

Microwave, oven, hob.

So you are off the breast then?

- Feel free to look around.

- Oh, my God. Look at this.

- Oh, a hammock.

- Yeah, yeah. Fancy a swing?

No. I'll be sick.

I suppose on a clear day you can

see the class struggle from here.

- Yeah, on a clear day, you can see forever, love.

- It's like a porthole.

- Yeah. It's the ship effect.

- Oh.

- Smoke?

- Oh, no, thanks.

- Sit down.

- What is through the round window?

A blinding view.

That's, uh, Tower Bridge.

Just left of the crane

is, uh, Big Ben.

And over there, the City.

- So what's your name?

- Rumpelstiltskin.

- I like your telescope.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- Good for bird-watching.

- Is it safe to go out here?

Course it is.

- You going to buy it, then?

- Oh, yeah, definitely.

- With him thrown in?

- Yeah, thrown in the Thames.

Oh, no.

- Do you want the lav, love?

- No. I'm fine.

- She's got a touch of the Hitchcocks.

- You what?

- Is that your boat?

- No.

- What are the neighbors like?

- Don't know.

- Oh, that's cozy then, isn't it?

- Come and look at this.

Canary Wharf.

It's a shame they couldn't afford

an architect, really, isn't it?

- How long have you lived here?

- Four years.

- Oh, really? And why are you gettin' out?

- Fancy doin' a bit of travelin'.

- What, with the gypsies?

- No. Get a motorbike.

Do Africa.

Balloon across the Andes, up the Amazon.

What do you do?

- What, a crane driver?

- No, futures.

- Oh.

- What you doin' later on?

Nothing that involves you.

That's for sure.

- Who's the little girl?

- That's my daughter, Tuesday.

She was born on a bloody Saturday,

but her mother's bonkers.

- She's really cute.

- I never see her. So what do you two do?

Oh, uh, I'm a pathologist,

and she's a plastic surgeon, actually.

Oh, that's handy.

Fancy a whiff of spliff?

- No, thanks.

- We don't indulge.

- So do you get a lot of dry rot up here?

- No.

- What about rising damp?

- What, a hundred feet up?

- Could be high-rising damp.

- No, it's double-glazed.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Sure?

- No.

- Positive.

- Have many people viewed it yet?

Well, Jerry's got the keys. He was supposed to

take a couple of people around last week.

So are you sticking at your asking price?

This is my point, see. I reckon that

we could have a little coup on the go.

- What do you mean?

- Well, ax the parasite.

- Who, Jerry?

- Yeah. He don't have to know about it.

I'll bring down the asking price.

Bosh. Yours. Sorted.

- Sounds brilliant.

- How much will you come down by?

- What're you in the market for?

- You've got a couple of bedrooms here, haven't you?

- Yeah.

- Where do you keep them, then?

Downstairs.

Do you want to see 'em?

- Can't wait.

- Come on down.

- Fancy a cognac?

- No, thank you.

- No, she's driving. Aren't you?

- That's right.

This is the master.

I see you've been

looking through your family album.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah.

That's my sister, that, God bless her.

En suite bathroom.

Power shower.

Lot of storage space in here, obviously.

- Yeah, okay. Thanks very much.

- Yeah.

- We've got to go now. We've got another appointment.

- Yeah, we have.

- So are you two looking for a place together, then?

- No, no.

- No, I'm the one who's buying.

- Oh, right. Thought you was geezer birds.

- Oh, you wish!

- No, we're not.

- Don't mind or anything.

- Oh, thanks very much.

You know, love the life you live

and live the life you love.

- This is my study.

- Okay, see you then. Thanks very much.

- You haven't seen the other rooms yet.

- No, it's okay.

One, two. Bath as well.

Never use 'em.

This is the second bedroom.

Yeah, all right.

Thanks a lot. Bye.

- Where are you going? We haven't started yet.

- No, it's okay.

- Hang on.

- Sorry. Bye.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

- What a bloody nightmare.

- I wanted to use the loo as well.

What a tosser!

- That flat's gross.

- Don't be rude about my future home.

Beg your pardon.

- Fancy a glass of champagne?

- No, thanks.

F***!

Come on.

Press the button.

Listen. Why don't we go downstairs?

I'll show you around the pool.

We'll come back up, and we drink this, yeah?

- No, thank you.

- You got a problem or something?

- What the f***in' hell is the matter with you?

- Bye!

You got a problem?

You got a f***ing problem?

Slags!

I just don't believe that.

What an idiot!

He was coked out of his head,

though, wasn't he?

- Was he?

- Yeah, of course he was.

- How can you tell?

- Oh, bloody hell!

You Wakefield girls!

You're half asleep, ain't ya?

I'm so naive.

When are you moving back to London?

Oh, well, I don't know.

Oh, dear.

Now, ahem, this next flat

we're gonna look at...

we're actually meeting

the estate agent, Lance.

No, he sounds like a gentleman.

I've spoken to him on the phone.

Oh. Sir Lancelot.

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