Career Girls Page #6

Gonna be a bit late, actually.

- Oh, it's quite nice, isn't it?

- Yeah.

I love these old London houses

with the steps.

Oh, no. Another camera.

You can be Claudine this time, though.

Oh, Lance is in a hurry.

Oh, nice hall.

Hello. Miss Mills?

- Ms. Mills, actually.

- I do beg your pardon, Ms. Mills.

- Are you Lance, by any chance?

- No, I'm not Lance.

- Oh.

- Lance is ill. I'm covering for him.

- Adrian Spinks.

- Thank you very much.

- After you.

- Thanks.

- So what's wrong with Lance, then?

- Lance?

- He went out for a vindaloo last night.

- Oh, spare us the details.

- It's a very nice white room, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Why have you got the shutters closed?

- I've just got here.

- You're my first lot.

- Not 'cause you're trying to block out the tower block?

Light up your life.

It's not very scenic, is it?

Nice big windows.

Yeah, but what can you see through 'em?

So what's in there?

Take a peek.

It's the en suite.

It's not a very large bath, is it?

- You can get two in there.

- Yeah, two bars of soap.

You, uh, looking

for a place together?

- No.

- Hm. Thought you might be.

There's a lot of cracks

in these walls, isn't there?

- It's purely cosmetic.

- What, you painted them on?

- No, it's the weight of the plaster.

- So?

- It shrinks, it cracks.

- Oh, yeah, I can see that.

It's just not very good, is it?

I agree.

Get what you pay for.

Oh, I see you haven't got your selling heart

where your selling mouth is.

Honesty is my policy.

So what's in here then?

Oh, I see. Right.

So it's a sort of kitchen, breakfast,

wining, dining, living, dying sort of room.

Fridge-freezer,

washer-dryer, dishwasher.

Save your hands for a rainy day.

- I don't use my hands on a rainy day.

- Excuse me.

Did you, um... Did you say

your name was Adrian?

Mm-hmm. Adrian Spinks.

I thought so.

That's an original Victorian fireplace.

No, it is.

Come and have a look.

You can have an artificial

gas coal fire plumbed in.

Or you can burn your own logs.

The choice is yours.

I don't believe it.

- Honest.

- Oh, my God.

- Excuse me.

- Yeah?

Are you just a girl

who can't say n...

No!

Thought so.

This is a party, you know.

I don't think much of your dress sense.

I thought it was meant to be a funeral.

You're wearing black.

Well, I've got "funereal" disease.

Will I catch it if I have sex with you?

Well, you won't be,

so you won't know, will ya?

No biting! Ow!

Oh, right.

That does it.

No!

Excuse me.

I'm a lady.

- Well, come on then.

- I'm in the passenger seat. You're driving.

Ain't got a gear stick, have I?

This lady's not for turning!

- Fancy breakfast?

- They also serve, sit and wait.

- Sausage and egg?

- Sausage and two eggs would be better.

- It's gettin' cold. Eat up.

- Do you wanna fight?

- Pacifist.

- I want the toilet.

And when I get back, young man...

we'll have more eat and less talk.

Well, hurry up!

It's just I can't.

No, really, I can't.

Mum, I've got to get it done.

Oh, hiya.

Workin' on a Saturday?

Bit keen.

I'm makin' some notes for an essay.

I've got as far as the emotional responses to fear.

- What's it about? Ghosts?

- No, it's about the erection of, uh...

- Ooh, talkin' dirty to me.

- No, the erection of body hair and things like that.

Are you lookin' for a new erection in life?

Would you like some chocolate?

Very kind of you.

Thank you.

Help yourself.

- Nice boxer shorts.

- My ex-girlfriend got them for me.

Excuse me. Are you having a tutorial?

She was just askin'

about my ex-girlfriend.

- I weren't!

- You're tryin' to do some work?

Yes, actually, I am.

Right. Come on, Casanova.

This isn't a bordello, you know.

Can't just walk into every boudoir

and choose a different bint.

Got to go and feed the world.

- Oy!

- Try telegrams!

What's your problem?

North London Poly, yeah?

Yeah. Were you there?

- Yeah. We both were.

- You were a BABS, weren't you?

- Were you BABS?

- No, she did English.

- What did you do?

- Psychology.

- I got a 2.2.

- Oh, bully for you.

Spent too much time in the pub.

I got a 2.2 and didn't spend

too much time in the pub.

I got a First and I smoked a lot of dope.

- I had a brilliant time.

- Oh. Nice for you.

Population of China. Good luck trying to

get through, 'cause it's usually engaged.

- Do me a flavor. Give me my bus fare.

- Yeah. You must be joking!

- See you then.

- Lend us 40 pence?

- No!

- What for?

- To get home, else I'll have to walk.

- Yeah.

No, she will not lend you 40 pence.

- Why not?

- Because we're not a bank! That's why!

- Sorry.

- Have you been listening to me?

- Ha ha!

- What?

- Lend us 40 pence?

- What for?

- Brain surgery!

- I'm skint.

Give us a kiss then.

Hey, Annie. Don't you reckon she should

pay me for use of me fetid stump?

- F*** off!

- Oh! She likes it rough, she does.

- Out!

- 'Cause when I f*** a woman, she stays f***ed.

So why do you think

he hasn't phoned then?

I don't know.

Maybe he's lost the number.

- Are you bothered?

- No.

- Are you?

- No.

- What's he like?

- What do you mean?

- You know, in the sack.

- He's like a sack of potatoes in the sack.

I hate those things.

They give me the creeps.

That looks like my mum.

Hey, Hannah,

Hey, the Flowerpot Men.

Lavinia.

That's really nice. It really suits you,

you know. Very Paddington Bear.

Hey, Hannah, look at this. Great. I like the color.

Yeah. It's okay.

- Think it goes with me hair?

- Makes you look like a carrot, doesn't it?

- What do you reckon?

- Nice, yeah.

Twins!

- 50p. Great.

- Think we should get them, then?

- Definitely. Yeah.

- All right. Excuse me!

- Where's the geezer?

- Don't know.

"And then she sat on my face,

Constable."

Good morning.

Would you like some breakfast,

a little f*** on toast, maybe?

A woman's place is on my face.

Useless.

I've got this, uh,

recurring fantasy about...

Um, well...

in this fantasy, uh...

I'm having sex...

Well, actually,

I'm being forced to have sex...

with somebody.

And the thing is that...

there's a lot of men, you know...

Watching us.

Oh?

Don't get me wrong.

It's only a fantasy. It's not reality.

It's a myth that a lot of men believe,

but it can lead to rape...

you know, the idea

that a woman means "yeah"...

when, like, um...

she means "no."

I could bring me mates after

five-a-side to watch if you want.

So what's through

the square window then?

- It's a divided garden.

- Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

The furthest bit belongs to this flat.

Well, it's a bit barren, isn't it?

You can spice it up with your green fingers.

You don't recognize us at all, do you?

You're vaguely familiar.

I recognize you.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- What about her?

- What's your name?

Annie.

No. Sorry.

Right. Where's the second bedroom?

Now there's an offer I can't refuse.

- You just lost your commission.

- Ouch.

Ow! Bloody well bit the wrong place.

Bite's worse than me bark.

Oh. She loves me.

Thank you.

- What's that?

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