Career Opportunities Page #2

I got him for forty-five.

No, he's right here.

What do you mean

he missed the plane?

Then who the hell

am I talking to?

Ohhh!

I'll, uh...

I'll get back to you.

I know a great,

little Italian place...

that has the best pasta

primatonis in the wor...

Excuse me a minute,

will you please?

- Lovely wife you have there.

- Dodge, James?

Mm-hmm.

James, I'm afraid we have

a little misunderstanding.

You see, I thought

you came in for the, uh...

operations manager's job.

I have you down here

as night cleanup boy.

Well, I'm a little overpaid...

for night cleanup boy,

wouldn't you say?

The truth is, James,

I can offer you $4.44 per hour.

Uh, four, four...

$4.44...

- $4.44.

- What about the benefits?

Two fifteen-minute breaks

and a half hour for lunch.

And the title is, uh,

night... cleanup boy.

Yes.

I'll take it.

Oh, and, uh...

Iose the curl.

- Welcome to the Target team.

- Thank you.

So the parrot says,

"Of course I can talk."

Can you fly?

I don't want any damn Japanese

automobile plant in this town.

It... it means jobs.

I don't need a job.

Your governor's tryin' to use

my town as a political chip.

I resent that.

There could be some specific

benefits for you personally.

Josie!

- Yeah?

- Come here.

Meet these gentlemen

from the governor's office.

Come on in here, honey.

Honey, I want

you to meet Bill, uh...

Uh, Bob. Bob Bosenbeck.

Bob.

Dave.

My pleasure, Dave.

Right. Dave Hockner.

I don't want to interrupt.

Very nice to meet both of you.

Bye.

Bye.

Josie?

Josie!

You pull another stunt

like you did today,

I'll beat the livin'

daylights outta you!

All right, out!

Out of the vehicle, ma'am.

Get out of here!

Get out of the car!

Right on time!

Everything's going as planned.

You ordered a limousine?

Of course.

My first day of work.

How's it gonna look

if my dad drives me?

A little treat

for getting the job.

It was only fifty bucks.

- Right on time, Henry.

- Yes, sir.

Henry, the sign... very wrong.

Ciao!

Hey, Jim, where you going?

Hello, boys.

Going to Paris on an F-14.

Got a peace meeting with the

vice president of Bulgaria.

Business, you know?

Then I'm going to Venice,

for a spaghetti dinner

with the princess of Austria.

A beautiful lady...

really big bones.

Remember to brush

your teeth, Melvin!

You, too, Sidney!

Adis!

Jim is so cool!

Bobby.

Got a loose tile here.

In the morning...

take care of it.

I don't need a lawsuit, okay?

I've got enough to worry about.

Who's he?

Attention, shoppers.

The store will be closing

in five minutes.

Bring all your purchases

to the front.

- Are you a slacker?

- No, uh, Presbyterian.

What did you say?

What did you say?

I'm askin' you

a simple question.

- Are you lazy?

- No, sir.

The last guy that wore that uniform was

a lazy slacker, and I fired his butt.

Uh, about the uniform,

will I be getting my own?

You work out, which I doubt,

you can have a new name patch.

Would I be able to have it laundered?

It smells a little like Darnell.

I don't think you know

who you're messin' with.

After you clean the

ladies' and mens' crappers...

and you'd better be able

to eat off those bowls...

you clean my coffee maker,

then wax my desk.

Uh, clean what?

- Clean my coffee maker and wax my desk!

- I got it!

Sweep the aisles,

startin' with health and beauty.

Work your way over to

juniors and misses.

Ups and downs, leaving your

debris in the cross aisles.

So, I start with

health and beauty...

I just said to start

with health and beauty!

Then you do

your cross aisles.

That'll bring your

dust bin into play.

Take the debris.

Load it into the dustbin.

Take the dustbin out

to the loading dock...

and empty it into

the receptacle.

- Got that? Easy as pie.

- Yeah.

I was employed briefly

at Del Taco, and...

I don't care about your

Del Taco experience.

We've got this problem

in this store with grazers.

- You know what a grazer is?

- Is that a farm term?

It's a customer or employee

that eats off the shelves,

similar to a cow grazing

in a field of grass.

Only this isn't a field of grass,

and you're not a cow.

There's no eatin'.

You're not being paid to eat, so don't!

- Any questions?

- Not right off hand.

- Think you can handle it?

- I'll give it the old college try.

Don't touch me!

Well, despite our

age difference,

I think I'll enjoy

working with you.

Let's get something straight.

You ain't workin' with me.

You're working for me.

- Still, it'll be fun being around you.

- I ain't gonna be near you.

I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties

out of Colleen Jackson.

- You're not going to be here?

- Hell, no.

I'm gonna be here

by myself?

That's right. And you'd better

stay out of the ladies' undergoods.

Wait a minute!

Nobody told me I'd be here alone.

- What are you doing?

- Saving money.

Wait! Are you

turning off the lights?

In 25 seconds, you got

light in every third aisle.

When the sun comes up,

turn off all the lights.

I don't understand.

Hold on!

I don't understand.

Hold on!

I'm locking you in.

When I come back at 7:00

to open up,

I'll let you out.

- You're locking me in?

- What do you take me for, a fool?

Nobody gets keys on their

first night. Nobody!

Get to work!

- What if there's a fire?

- The fire department will come.

- I could perish!

- Ha-ha-ha. Boo!

You can't do this.

I'm locked in, alone, in the dark.

That was not a part

of my employment agreement.

# You got to wash with

the crocodile in the river #

# You got to swim

with the sharks in the sea #

# You got to live with

the crooked politician #

# Trust those things

that you can never see #

# Ay yeah, yeah

Ay yeah, yeah #

# Ay yeah, yeah

Ay yeah, yeah #

Agh!

# It's a cruel, crazy

beautiful worid #

# Every day you wake up

I hope it's a blue, blue sky #

# It's a cruel, crazy

beautiful worid #

# One day

when you wake up #

# I will have to

say good-bye #

# Say good-bye #

# It's your worid

so live in it, good-bye #

# It's your worid

so live in it... ##

9:
17!

Time for a break.

Hello.

Anybody out there?

When I accepted...

the post of president,

grand poobah of Target,

realizing that

I had brought...

meaningfulness,

peace, and happiness...

into the lives of

thousands of people.

Jim Dodge, of Monroe,

top moneymaker on the tour.

His father's here today,

Bud Dodge,

and sister Penny,

a sad, sad story,

was just admitted to

University Hospital.

While trying to pop a zit,

her head mysteriously exploded.

Dad! Hi!

Do you know

what time it is?

I'm starting to think about

Christmas and gifts,

because I'm in a big store

and I'm getting gift ideas.

- Hi.

- Mom, hi!

How's it going?

I finished all

my janitor stuff.

Most of it. I've got

to save some for later.

- It's easy as hell.

- Uh, honey, it's a little late.

It is kind of late.

Sleep tight.

See you in the morning.

Love you, too.

Mr. James Dodge!

He can't be happy as

the night cleanup boy.

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