Carry On Cabby Page #8

- Wentworth Street. Who's on the station rank?

- Allbright.

lt would be. Tell Allbright to go to the south end

of Wentworth Street and block it.

Now listen out, all cabs.

Hello, Allbright. Hello, Allbright.

Proceed to the south end of Wentworth Street

and block it.

That won't stop 'em at all. They're here.

- They might turn up Dawes Road.

- That's what l want 'em to do.

lf we can get 'em to go down Dawes,

right into the Aldershot Road,

we'll have 'em out in open country

on a road with hardly any turnoffs.

But they might turn round

and go back up Wentworth Street.

Yes. Tell Len to follow up and make dead sure

he stops 'em going back up Wentworth.

Hello, Len. Hello, Len. Follow up and make sure

you stop 'em going back up Wentworth Street.

What the hell's going on?

ls everyone nuts in this town? Turn around.

Hello, Sarge, l stopped him.

He's turned and going back up Wentworth.

Right. Follow him.

We want to make him turn down Dawes Road.

All right, but l don't know what

the union's going to say about this.

- (Whistle blows)

- ..the union.

Well, really.

What's this idiot think he's doing?

He's gonna ram us. Here, turn off! Turn off!

- Guv, we've done it. He's gone down Dawes.

- Good boy.

Ted, we've got him going now.

Tell Len and Allbright to follow up,

make sure he doesn't double back.

No.23 to the intersection of Dawes

and Aldershot to make him turn left.

Hello, 23. Hello, 23. Proceed to

the intersection of Dawes and Aldershot.

Objective:
make the enemy turn left.

1 6 to cut off possible right turn into Henry Street.

Hello, 1 6.

Cut off possible right turn into Henry Street.

- 1 6.

- lt is 1 6, look.

- Give it to me. Where was it?

- There.

Damn these cabs.

- Where does this road go, eh?

- Aldershot.

Aldershot? We don't wanna go that way.

We've got no choice, stupid.

They're using the cab radios to head us off.

We've got to dump this cab fast.

He's going south on the Aldershot Road.

Lovely. Tell Len, Allbright and the others

to follow up slowly.

32 and 1 6 to cut 'em off at the top of Snow Hill.

Slow up.

- lt's another of those damn things ahead.

- lt's all right. Look, there's nobody in it.

Empty?

Here, who said there weren't a Santa Claus?

Pull up in front of it.

Let go of my arm.

Here, cop this.

Hey, that's my cab!

Oh, l do feel such a fool.

l don't understand it. Where have they got to?

The boys on Snow Hill should've spotted 'em

coming by now.

Unless they turned off into Mill Lane, here.

Oh, gawd blimey, l forgot that one.

'Ere, wait a minute, Pintpot was near Mill Lane

when he had his sump trouble.

- Where is he now?

- l don't know. He hasn't called in since.

That big nit! Just when we need him. Find him!

Come in, Pintpot. Come in, Pintpot.

Come on, let's have you.

What is going on here? What is the matter?

Why doesn't somebody spot 'em?

Why doesn't somebody call in?

lt looks like we've lost 'em somehow.

Give me that.

Hello, Charlie calling Pintpot.

Charlie calling Pintpot.

Pintpot, come in!

- Pintpot, where the hell are you?

- Here.

Thank gawd for that.

Now listen carefully, Pintpot.

Where exactly is ''here''.

- By the door in your office.

- Right. l want you to get down...

What are...? What are you doing back here?

Well, one of the Glamcab drivers pinched

my cab while l was working on it.

You great big twit, those were the crooks.

- Yeah, but, where was this?

- On the Aldershot Road, just past Mill Lane.

- Mill Lane...

- They must have turned down here, Charlie.

lf they've gone down there, mate,

we can still stop 'em.

There's no turning off that road for ten miles

till you get to Riseley.

Except this little road that leads to the heath.

Well, that's it! That's it, Ted.

lf we can drive 'em down that road

onto the heath...

Sarge, get some of the boys to go to

the Riseley end of Mill Lane and head 'em off.

- The rest can move in from here, right?

- Check.

Come on. You and l come in

from the other side of the heath. Come on!

RADlO:
Look out for a stolen taxi believed

proceeding in the direction of Aldershot.

- Over and out.

- OK. Let's go.

- Mill Lane, you said this was.

- Yes.

Ahh.

Leads to Riseley.

Turn right there

and we're on the main road to London.

Do you reckon we're clear now, then?

Yeah, course. Not even looking for this old cab,

are they? Nothing to stop us now, mate.

Blimey! They're all crazy.

l don't believe it.

There's bloomin' thousands of 'em.

The ones behind are still coming.

Mr Hawkins, they've taken the heath road.

Hooray!

Sarge, tell 'em to follow on that side of the heath

and get the rest to follow me.

- Right?

- Check. Over and out.

Ted, we've got 'em, mate. We've got 'em.

- Hey, what's this bloke think he's doing?

- Not again.

One, two, three, four... Can't be.

Hello, Charlie. Hello, Charlie.

Enemy reported approaching the heath.

- Enemy approaching the heath.

- Sarge, l love you!

There's five of the boys behind us, Charlie.

- Six.

- Lovely.

Now listen, you lot, and listen good.

Fan out across the heath and move in.

Fan out and move in.

That's it, now stay nice and tight. Move in.

We've got him now. He's trapped.

Mr Hawkins! Quick! Grab 'em! Hold on.

Good. Now you, sir.

(Bell rings)

Come on.

- Give us a hand 'ere.

- Break it up. Come on. Come on.

Got him?

Peg, what is it? What have they done to her?

lt's all right, she's only fainted.

What do you mean only fainted?

We've got to get her to a doctor.

She's been to a doctor, Charlie.

lt's not unusual for someone in her condition

to faint, you know.

ln her condition... ln her condition?!

Might as well be getting home.

Yeah, l can just see it there,

written up on the old board. Marvellous.

''Charles Hawkins and Son. Cabs for...''

Yeah, perhaps you're right.

Hey, what's coming? Wait a minute. lt's Pintpot.

He's coming straight for us. He's gonna hit us.

(Crashing)

(Hissing)

Got you, you crooks. All right, come out...

(Chuckles) Ooh, l say.

What will you think of me?

He kills me. Give me the mike.

(Pintpot laughs)

Look at this! Ooh!

(Pintpot giggles)

Oh, what's the use. Call me a cab.

Right.

(Chuckles)

l shan't be a minute.

Cab! Cab!

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