Carry On Cowboy Page #5

singlehanded?

Granted, yes.

Come to think of it,

you'll make a marvellous Marshal.

- Who, me?

- Yes. You'll clean up Stodge City.

Oh, you'll become the most admired,

the most feared man in the West.

Oh, they'll write books about you.

I can see it:

"The Legend of Marshal P. Knutt."

"The Legend of Marshal P. Knutt."

Curly, round up the boys.

We've got a job on tonight.

Sure thing, Kid.

- Give me a drink, Charlie.

- You ought to know, Mr Rumpo,

that woman that's staying here's

asking a lot about Sheriff Earp's death.

What woman who's staying here?

She came in on the stage.

I iet her have a room.

- Where is she?

- Upstairs. Room 11 .

What are you gonna do?

I don't like women

who ask awkward questions.

She's going out of here

on her big, fat bustie.

- [Knock on door]

- Come in!

All right, lady,

just pack your bags and...

I thought

you were the chambermaid.

I am.

You don't look too much

like a chambermaid to me.

It's my day off.

You must be the one they call

the Rumpo Kid, huh?

Yep. That's me.

And you want me

to pack my bags and ieave?

Leave?

Where did you get that idea?

Well, I thought...

What did you come in here for, then?

Just to say welcome.

I hope you have

a long and friendly stay here.

Well, thank you. Thank you.

You just ask for anything you want.

it's all on the house.

Thank you.

Right now I'd like to get out of my bath.

Oh. Give you a hand?

No, no, but you can pass a towel

if you like.

Yep.

Here you are.

All right, I won't look.

- No?

- Nope.

Oh, well. Worth a try.

Yeah, well... it was er... nice er...

seeing you.

And you, too.

You've been ver sweet to me.

Well, did you do it?

- Did I do what?

- Did you tell her to go?

Oh, that. Yeah, sure.

I gave it to her straight,

Cards on the yable, man to man.

Man to man, huh?

Yup. Right between the eyes.

So she's going?

Nope. The fact is, Belle, she's straight.

I reckon she's not tring to hide nothing.

She couldn't.

Not in that bath.

You're right there.

Boy, has she got...

Oh. You saw.

Yeah, well,

I happened to be standing here

and the keyhole

came up against my eye.

[Laughs nervously]

Well... then y-y-you saw for yourself.

I mean, she's nice... a nice girl.

You can't go throwing

a poor little thing like that out.

- You know how it is.

- Yeah, yeah. I know just how it is.

Reckon she does know how it is, too.

[Chortles]

The Rumpo Kid.

He's the one we gotta get something on.

He's behind everything

that's going on around here.

Why didn't you just

run him out of town, then?

Everbody's scared stiff of him.

Except me, of course.

Pardon me.

Mind if I come in?

Why, of course, Mr Rumpo.

We're always delighted to see you.

I wanted to meet the new Marshal.

Oh, thank you.

I thought I'd tip you off.

There's going to be another raid

on Colonel Houston's cattle tonight.

What? How do you know?

A stranger came into my piace

and told one of the girls.

- You don't say.

- Yup.

The giri's not involved, mind you.

She's a nice, pure, innocent kid.

He just happened to talk in his sleep.

Well, thank you

for telling me, Mr Rumpo.

A pieasure, Marshal. Any time I can do

anything to help, don't be afraid to ask.

Gentlemen, if you'll pardon me,

I've promised

to talk to the ladies' sewing circle.

He doesn't seem such a bad fellow.

Don't you believe it.

There's something funny going on

around here.

Why, I'm almost positive

that he and his gang

are doing all the catllerustllng

around here.

impossible. He wouldn't have come in

and told us if it was him.

No. No, that's a point.

We've gotta do some quick thinking.

"Tonight", he said. That's today.

That's pretty quick thinking.

Don't overdo it. Leave it to me.

Now, let me see... Now...

The best plan Would be for you

to ride out there after dark

and surprise 'em.

- All by myself?

- No. You gotta take a posse with you.

- Why? Don't they like cats?

- A posse! Not a p*ssy!

You can't go out there

and handle a whole gang

of rustiers and killers all by yourself.

- Can't I?

- No, no.

You've got to find some brave

and public-spirited citizens to help you.

Oh, yes, I see.

Like you, you mean.

Exactly.

Except that, unfortunately,

tonight I have another engagement.

Any other night, of course.

But don't worry.

You're bound to find somebody.

Yeah!

Yup.

Howdy, Marshal.

What can I do for you?

Well, actually,

I'm tring to get up a posse.

Oh? For tonight, you mean?

That's right. I thought perhaps

you and a few of your men could er...

Oh, it's a pity, Marshal. I'm sorryy.

We can't help you tonight.

We got a little choir practice.

I promised the boys. Right, boys?

Oh. it's funny, but everone I've asked

so far seems to be doing something else.

Ah, gee,

that's tough, Marshal. Ain't it?

Wait a minute. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you two of my boys. Short.

- Yeah, boss.

- I got a little job for you.

Take these two, Marshal.

Short and Curly.

How do you do?

Who was that?

Just Rumpo

and some of the boys, Marshal.

Oh! Off to their choir practice.

I'm sorryy

if I'm making you miss yours.

That's all right, Marshal.

We'll get up extra eariy and do some.

Oh, good. By the way,

I've got your Deputy badges.

No, thank you, Marshal.

It ain't wise to wear them.

Makes too easy a target.

Oh... yes.

Well, I suppose we'd better be off, then.

Yup. Got a horse all ready for you,

Marshal.

Oh... yes.

Yes, that's a horse, all right.

Looks like you forgot

to fasten your girth, Marshal.

[Laughs]

Hey, come back! Horse!

Horse!

[Cattle low]

The herd seems mighty restless.

You hear anything, Joe?

Nice work. When you're through,

take a handfuI of steers up to Bear Pass.

I'm going to see Sam Houston.

Come on!

[Laughter]

- Howdy, mister.

- Howdy, Colonel.

I was just up in the high ground

getting the stock in.

I've just seen some fellas making off

with a whole heap of your catlle.

The hell you say.

- Jake! Get them ready to ride!

- Sure thing, Colonel.

I'm mighty grateful to you, mister.

Whereabouts you saw 'em?

They were just coming

over Bear Pass.

- What you say?

- Bear... Pass.

Oh. My hearing isn't so good

these days.

That's the catlle, all right.

They've got the Bar X brand on 'em.

Well, where are

all the rustlers, then?

Well, I reckon

just the sight of you, Marshal,

must have scared them away.

Oh, yes, I suppose so.

Well, what are we gonna do now, then?

Well, I reckon the best thing we can do

is to leave you to look after them steers

while we ride and get us some help.

Just what I was going to suggest.

- There they are, Colonel.

- Yeah!

Come on!

Let's get 'em! Hah!

[Gunshots]

Colonel Houston?

Yeah. That's me.

Oh.

Do you mind if I do this, Colonel?

As an upright and law-abiding citizen

of Stodge City

and a lifelong friend

of Sheriff Earp,

I consider it my duty.

Your privilege, sir.

What do you think you're doing?

You're making a terrible mistake,

you know.

- I can sue you for this. I've got my rights.

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