Carry On Cowboy Page #6

- Pipe down, will you?

What are you getting so excited about?

I can't help it. I've always been nervous

and highiy strung.

You're about to be strung

even higher, pai.

Right, we'll just take the other end

and make it...

[Marshal whimpers]

...good and tight.

Yahoo!

Ruffians!

Marshal! Marshal!

It's me, Judge Burke.

[Knock on door]

What are you doing in there?

You can't stay iocked up all the time.

You're supposed

to be keeping law and order.

Oh, no.

He's out to get me. I know it.

That Rumpo.

Don't be silly. They wouldn't dare

do anything to a US Marshal.

"wouldn't dare do anything", he says.

Judge, I was neariy hanged

the other night, like a common criminal.

Oh, you don't wanna worry about that.

Some of my best friends

have been hanged.

There ain't no stigma

attached to it out West.

Well, they can't fool me.

It was Rumpo's doing.

He arranged the whole thing.

Oh, come on, now.

You're imagining things.

Both he and old Sam apologised

ver nicely the next day.

it was a naturaI mistake

to make in the circumstances.

Do I look like a cattle rustler?

No, but you don't look

like a sanitary inspector either.

I am not a sanitary inspector!

I am a sanitation engineer, first ciass!

Shh. Do you want everbody to hear?

Look, first of all the Indian attack

on the stage coach.

Then this cattle rustling business.

That didn't happen by accident.

That was planned

to get me out of the way.

And it Would have worked

if that fella hadn't come to my rescue.

Yeah, who was he?

I don't know. He just untied my hands

and he galloped off.

- But I'd know him again, all right.

- How?

He had a ver strong smell of perfume.

Really?

We're getting a funny lot round here.

[Knock on door]

Who is it?

Sam Houston.

What is it?

What's the matter?

They were at my piace again last night.

Yes! Got away with 40 head.

Who were they?

Did you see 'em?

It was too dark to see much.

Yeah, but I recognised

it was one of Rumpo's men.

Marshal, you've gotta do something.

Well, I don't see what I can do

without any proof.

Here's proof for you.

Take a look at that.

You match up those hoof prints

and you've got your man.

But how did they get up there?

What have you been doing?

Well, I was out courting.

There's no law against it.

No, no, of course not, but I can think

of more comfortable piaces to do it.

Marshal, I think it's time

you and Rumpo had a little talk.

Well, if you think there's evidence.

You know, personally, I don't...

Now, there's nothing to be afraid of.

They wouldn't dare do anything

to a US Marshal.

Here they come now! Stop 'em!

Well, gentlemen, a toast.

To our own beioved Marshal P. Knutt,

accidentally run over today

by a band of unknown horsemen, RiP.

[Laughter]

[Wolf whistling]

What's the matter?

[Growls]

# The night is young

# And we're not too old

# Why wait for fate

to give you a shove?

# When I am yours

# To have and to hold

# This is the night for love

# For I am wllllng

# And awfully weak

# And just the kind

to take advantage of

# So why not push

# Your new iucky streak?

# This is the night for iove

# My arms are yearning

# To hold you ever so near

# My lips are burning

#? Just for your kiss

# There's no returning

# To me it's all very ciear

# There'll never be

another night like this

# So hold me close

# Till daylight is near

# Closer than a hand in a glove

# And say those words

# I'm longing to hear

# This is the night

for holding me tight

# For this

# is the night for love ?

I didn't know you could sing.

Well, I've hardly seen anything of you

since I arrived.

Have you er... been avoiding me?

I shouid say not.

I got a lot of business to do iateiy.

- At night?

- Why, it's the most convenient time.

My customers are asleep then.

Say, it's awful crowded in here.

Is there somewhere private

where we could talk?

Yep. My office. I got a nice

big couch there for sitting, talking on.

Well, what are we waiting for, then?

Well, you go right ahead.

I just gotta get something.

OK.

Charlie, quick. Come on, Charlie!

Gimme a bottle.

Sure thing, Kid. Champagne?

What else?

- You... you can't go to her, Johnny.

- Don't talk so silly.

Don't turn our stor into a burning tale

of lust, jealousy and passion

under a white-hot desert sun.

Don't make it a saga of sex, vengeance

and sudden death in the primitive West.

Are you delirious?

But, Johnny, she's no good.

Take it from me, she's after something.

if you get out of the way,

she's gonna get it.

But, Johnny, have you forgotten?

I'm your little Ding Dong.

I hate to have to say it,

but your Ding has lost its Dong.

[Sniggers]

Reckon you iost him, Belle.

How about doing

a little something for me, eh?

OK.

[Laughter]

Here's to us.

Oh, no, Johnny. No, don't.

Annie, I'd do anything for you.

I'd buy you diamonds, furs.

I'll make you a partner.

I'll shave ever day.

I know, but, you see, it's no use.

- I'm saving myseif for another.

- Another what?

- Another man.

- Who?

The man who killed the man

who killed my man.

I got lost.

Would you mind repeating that?

OK, I'll try and expiain.

You see, there once was a Sheriff here

called Earp, Albert Earp.

Yeah, what about him?

Well, a long time ago,

he once shot somebody very dear to me,

and I just long

for somebody to kill Earp.

They have. He's dead.

I know.

And whoever it was that shot Earp

is the one I'm saving myself for.

You see,

I have nothing else to offer as a reward.

it was me.

I shot the old codger.

- You're...

- The man who killed the man

who killed your man.

Oh, I hoped it would be you.

My search is ended.

You can stop saving yourself now.

- Oh, no, no. Not this way!

- What other way is there?

I mean, not here.

Not here in an office.

Come to my room at ten o'clock

and I'll be waiting for you.

- Your room?

- Uh-huh.

- Ten o'clock?

- Mm-hmm.

You'll be waiting?

Mm-hmm.

[Growls]

What are you doing?

That ain't fair!

They said you were dead!

A fine doctor you turned out to be.

No, he was dead when I took his pulse.

I swear it.

When you took his pulse?

I never thought of that.

My watch has stopped.

What happened?

Rumpo and his gang,

they rode their horses right over you.

Well, that does it.

I've had just about enough of Rumpo.

I'll get something on him

if it's the last thing I do.

it probably wllI be. Yeah!

We're here.

Oh, good.

What's on the clock?

Little Heap make no charge

for his own father.

Oh, that's a good boy.

Well, now you can run along home,

straight home.

No stopping to pick up

any stray bits of scalp.

You take big risk,

going in saloon, Father.

Rumpo say he kill you

if he see you again.

Well, I can't help that.

I've got to have fire water.

How you buy fire water

with no dollars?

Ah-ha-ha. Big Heap has inherited

all the cunning of his forefathers.

Give me a hand, son.

Gold strike at Bear Creek!

It never fails. it never fails.

Oh!

[Laughter]

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