Carry On Cowboy Page #7

One minute to ten.

Her room, and she'll be waiting.

[Growls]

- Oh, hello.

- How.

Who's that?

It's me, Rumpo. Are you ready?

could you wait

just one moment, honey?

OK. Come on in.

[Big Heap] Down with Custer!

Big Heap. Just a minute, sweetheart.

I forgot something.

[Big Heap]

Let's all go and hold up the stage!

Big Heap.

What the heck are you doing here?

- It's my old friend, the Crumpet Kid.

- Rumpo Kid.

Same thing. I say, remember you got me

to hold up that stagecoach?

Shut up.

You want the whole town to hear?

What is this?

Where is everbody?

Charlle! What's going on?

Where you been?

I'm sorryy, Kid.

Some joker came in, shouting that

there was a gold strike at Bear Creek.

- Was there?

- I got three miles before I remembered.

There ain't no piace called Bear Creek.

Big Heap

take heap big paie face mickey.

[Laughs]

it was him. I'll kill him!

No, no.

I don't want no trouble, not now.

I've got some important business waiting.

Lock him up in the office.

Get him out of here. Quick.

[Laughs]

[Knutt] Hold it right there, Rumpo.

Now what?

- Marshal.

- That's right. I want to talk to you.

OK. Drop by tomorrow.

I'm kinda busy right now.

Are you gonna waik down

or do I have to shoot you down?

OK.

Fantastic. A fella can't even live up

to his name these days.

- What do you want?

- Rumpo...

[Guips]

I'm taking you in.

- You couldn't take in dirty washing.

- You heard me. I'm taking you in.

if you feel like tring to stop me,

just you try it. I'm ready for you.

[Thud]

I told you that was too loose.

I can't wear it any tighter.

it pinches me tummy.

Oh, you can laugh, Rumpo,

but we've really got something on you

this time.

Go on, Marshal, you tell him.

Well, it seems that last night

Colonel Houston's ranch

was raided again by rustlers.

- What's that got to do with me?

- That's got a lot to do with you.

They got away with 40 cows.

- Bullocks.

- I know what I'm talking about.

So do I. They was bullocks.

Oh, what does it matter

if they was cows or bullocks?

- It matters to them.

- Oh, this ain't getting us nowhere.

Now, take a look at this.

This here hide came off a Bar X steer

and we found it in your stable.

Yeah, and that ain't all.

The hoof prints on the back of my coat

match up with those of your horse.

You may as well admit it, Rumpo.

You stole his cattle.

We've got you by the shorthorns.

I'd like to help you,

but unfortunately I loaned my horse

to somebody else last night.

What?

Where were you?

Here, all night.

Belle will tell you what I was doing.

Not in my court, she won't.

I'm sorryy, gentiemen,

but the fella you want

is the fella that used my horse last night.

- Who was it?

- An injun, name of Big Heap.

Oh. Well, it looks like

we've got the wrong man, Judge.

That's right. if you'll pardon me,

I got business to attend to.

Yeah, but just you watch it, Rumpo,

because I aim to get you.

Yeah, you'll see.

We'll get something on you yet.

That's far enough, Marshal.

Shall I plug 'em, Kid?

- Nope.

- Yes. Go on, let him! Go on, Charlie.

- Hey, steady, Judge.

- That's exactly what we want.

Then we'll have something on them.

Use your nut, Knutt.

Oh, Judge. You know we got more sense

than to shoot a US Marshal.

Charlle was only kidding.

Now, Would you get out of here, piease?

We're ciosing for the night.

All right! But we'll be back!

- Now?

- No! Get out, you old fool!

Come on.

Well, here we go.

I heard you in there, Kid.

That was a smart trick,

saying Big Heap stoie those steers.

Yeah. But if the Marshal talks to him,

we're in troubie.

Like me to get rid of him?

Later. Just keep him locked up for now.

I gotta see Miss Oakley.

- Why? What's she done?

- Nothing yet. That's the troubie.

[Cari]

Hey, Kid! Big Heap's gone!

This just ain't my night.

He must have got out

through the window.

Don't just stand there.

He can't be far away. Come on.

- Up the Indians!

- Hey, you can't do that.

We gotta get him out of there quick.

it's not gonna be easy,

with that Marshal sieeping there.

No. We'll have to keep him occupied.

Why did this have to happen tonight?

I'll get Curly and the boys.

You tell Miss Oakley

I've been unavoidably detained.

Leave it to me, Kid.

[Knock on door]

Come and get it.

[Gunfire]

[Crashing beiow]

Oh, I'm terribiy sorryy.

I thought you were somebody else.

Good night, Mum.

[Knock on door]

Yes?

Just hold it right there.

I hope that's your gun, Marshal.

Miss Belle. What are you doing here?

Think of your reputation.

You think about it

and stop asking stupid questions.

Stop!

What are you getting undressed for?

- I wanna catch up with you.

- What? Oh!

Oh, you don't have to be

so modest with me, Marshal.

You're a finelooking man, you know.

- I am?

- I kinda go for men who wear long-coms.

I knew a fella who escaped from prison

in a pair of coms.

He got out through the trap door

at the back.

Yes. Coms really do something to me.

They do something to me, too.

itch.

You didn't come here

just to talk about underwear.

You're right, Marshal.

- How would you like it...

- Oh, no.

...if I gave you proof that Rumpo

was behind the stage hold-up

and the cattle rustling?

What?

But why are you telling me all this?

Maybe it's because

I go for you, Marshal, honey.

Don't you feel it,

that certain something between us?

Yes. it's my hot water bottle.

No, we were meant for each other,

you and me.

We go together like ham and eggs.

Oh, Mother.

[Knock on door]

What was that?

Are you expecting anyone?

- No, of course not.

- if it's Rumpo, he'll kllI me.

- I must hide.

- Where?

- Under the bed. Quick.

- Good idea.

No, not you, you fool. Me.

- Miss Oakley.

- Marshal, I've come to give myself up.

I've just killed a man.

Well, we all make silly mistakes

now and then.

- Kllied a man?

- Uh-huh.

Charlle the barman.

But it was an accident, I swear it.

Of course it was.

How did it happen?

- I shot him with a shotgun...

- Oh.

...a rifle, and two revolvers.

- It must have been some accident.

- It was.

I thought it was the Rumpo Kid.

You see, I found out tonight that he was

the one that killed Sheriff Earp.

Oh, Marsh, I feeI just... terrible.

Oh, there, there. Don't worry about it.

Come and sit down for a minute.

Ah! Oh!

My gun.

You're ver sweet.

I feel sort of safe with you somehow.

That's what they all say.

Oh, have you known lots of giris, then?

Oh, no. No, none at all.

It's my job, I suppose.

You don't get to meet them down drains.

Well, I'm glad because I've never felt

like this about anybody before.

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

I feel like we sort of go together like...

strawberries and cream.

- [Belle] Or ham and eggs.

- Yeah, ham...

- Oh, Lord.

- I'm sorry, Marshal, but I can't lie there,

Listening to this witch

talking out the back of her bustie.

- No other girls, huh?

- Wait a minute. I can explain.

Oh, don't bother.

And with an old bag like that.

And who are you calling an old bag?

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