Carry on Regardless Page #4

Oh, but you are.

Ich bin es nicht! Ich bin

eine tief leidenschaftliche Frau.

I'm not.

I'm a deeply passionate woman.

Oh, I know, I know.

Du behandelst mich

aber nicht als eine Solche.

You don't behave as if I was one.

How can you say that?

Fur eine ganze Woche hast du mir

kein Zeichen deiner Liebe gegeben.

For a week,

you've shown no love towards me.

I was too tired.

Ja, gewiss - meiner Mude!

Yes, tired of me.

No, no, darling.

Es ist alles die Sekretarin.

It's that stenographer.

There's no need to be so convincing.

I can't help it.

I think your wife's got a point.

You're here to translate, not judge.

Do you come from a broken home?

As a matter of fact, I don't.

Well, I do.

I beg of you, think of your children.

Ja, aber horen Sie!

We haven't got any children.

You won't have, like this.

You tired, you with your hats.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Please... don't upset yourself.

I can't help it.

You're back in English.

Does that mean...

It means our trivialities are

nothing compared to the turmoil...

..of this delicate and wounded soul.

Make up, you two.

That's the only thing to help me.

If only for my sake, make up.

All right, then. All right.

Yes. Yes, nice.

Seconds out.

Lofty Benson! Cor blimey!

Bert Handy. A little older, but I'd

recognise that ugly mug anywhere.

You helped make it like this!

Let's sit down and have a natter.

This is business, can't stop.

I need a couple of seconds tonight.

You're not going back in the ring?

Only the corner. I'm in management.

My fighter's Dynamite Dan Grimsby.

Never heard of him.

You will after his fight tonight.

Who's he fighting?

Mickey McGee.

Massive Mickey? Are you punchy?

My kid's dynamite.

I'll come myself tonight, gee him on.

Will you?

And the seconds are on the house.

Good old Bert!

Hulking great brute!

And such a show-off!

Bit nervy. There, not to worry.

Just one big whack in his fat belly.

That'll knock the wind out of him.

Who? Me?

I give the advice around here.

Massage his back.

Aargh! Oooh!

So sorry. I do beg your pardon.

Owww! He's hurt my finger. Owww!

Get this one off, too.

Oooooh!

You'll be all right, son.

It's a right horrible sprain.

I can't fight.

You've got to.

With one hand?

How can you be so inhuman?

Shut up! Listen, Dan, Dan...

..is a very hurt man.

Ready, champ?

Ready?

No, not tonight.

Eh?

He's only sprained his little finger.

Ladies and gentlemen,

your attention, please.

Dynamite Dan Grimsby is forced to

withdraw owing to a

sprained little finger.

In place of the main bout...

Oh, you unsympathetic lump!

Why doesn't somebody punch him?

Why don't you? It's your fault.

Gabe!

Come here, Gabe.

Hey, you. Come on back and fight.

What are you waiting for?

Do I have to strike the first blow?

Very well, then,

don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, no, I'm not ready.

Hey, ref! He can't hit him,

he's got his glasses on!

Come on, Gabe! Get at him!

Run, Gabe! Run!

Faster!

Get out! Jump out!

He's coming, Gabe!

He's got him!

Well done, Gabe!

Yes?

I see. How very disappointing.

I shall have to make

alternative arrangements.

Take care. Goodbye.

Helping Hands Ltd.

I beg your pardon? I'm sorry, sir,

I can't understand...

Oh! Too loud now.

I still can't understand.

Now, sir, what was it you wanted?

Yes... yes...

The what?! Are you sure?

Well, I'm sorry, but I find it

difficult to understand you.

Yes,

of course I've got a note of it.

Forth Bridge, rest assured.

Goodbye.

Oh, I wish I'd turned it down.

I'm glad you didn't.

I mean, this to me is... it...

..it's adventure. It's like -

what's it called? - "The 39 Steps".

Oh, I didn't hear him very well.

It's all so indefinite.

But these things usually are.

The agent cool, alert and debonair.

He's only ever given a rendezvous;

he receives his instructions there.

I might even be contacted

on the train.

Ah, Scotland -

lot of hydroelectric stuff up there.

Bet this has something to do

with atomic energy.

Gracious,

I hope you don't end up in Russia!

If I do, I shall behave as an

ex-corporal of the Pioneers should.

Name, rank and number,

and hands off my shovel.

Don't go! Think of brainwashing!

How can they wash what isn't there?

Er, by that I mean

I don't know anything. Yet.

Excuse me, Miss Cooling, my train.

Well, au revoir, Miss Cooling.

Or maybe goodbye.

Oh, dear!

Going all the way?

Uh-huh.

That's our man, then.

Oh!

Thank you.

You're not English.

And you're not Chinese - so what?

So this -

we might be on the same journey.

Of course we are.

OK, I'm persevering.

I don't like it.

Quit the pretence, I'm your man.

What?!

I'm glad we met. I wasn't looking

forward to jumping off the train.

Huh?! But if you say

we jump, then we jump.

Can we talk this over

somewhere less public?

Sorry, mate.

Ugh, brown Windsor! Ugh!

' This is it.

Here's the bridge.'

'Listen, you've got to jump out.'

There's not going to be any contact

on the train.'

'When you jump,

let every muscle go slack.'

'NOT NOW, STUPID!'

'When you jump.'

'You're not nervous now, are you?'

No!

'OK, kid, near the bridge now

- your rendezvous,

the bridge. Get going!'

'Maybe... maybe there is a contact

on the train... waiting for you.'

'Yes, that's it - waiting till the last

minute - yes - to test your nerve...

to see if you will prepare to jump.'

'Scuse me.

Have you any orders for me, sir?

Orders?! I just want to pass.

Sure, sir?

Quite sure.

Don't you want me for anything, sir?

No, I do not!

Helping Hands... Oh, yes...

Oh, it's you!

Oh, yes, most honoured we are, sir.

I trust it's going according to plan.

My man went to the Forth Bridge...

Went where?

To the Forth Bridge, as you said.

No! I wanted a fourth at bridge!

Oh... a fourth at bridge...

This is it, Mr Handy.

Thank you, Miss Cooling.

No matter how well a firm

is doing, it needs publicity.

Yeah. Shut up!

And that could well be the

finest publicity we could have.

Obviously, in a kitchen like this

work is a luxurious pleasure.

You can do so many things at once.

Good set-up, old chap.

Thank you, sir.

But the PC's missing. The PC?

Popsy cupboard.

Now, musn't be naughty!

Unimanual control, and it will go

as fast as you like. Observe!

I say! There is a popsy cupboard

after all.

Perfect safety. Fixed in a flash

and unfixed likewise.

None of you children want to rock

on the rocking horse?

Ride it yourself!

I know what you want.

Come along, a swing -

anyone like a swing?

No.

I'll have a swing myself.

Just to show you. Isn't it lovely?

Look at me! Oh!

The safety belt makes

window-cleaning so cosy.

It pays for itself

in six tiny months. Ridiculous!

Won't any little boy or girl sit

on the other end and rock with me?

No!

To unharness the safety belt,

all you do is AAAGH!

Oh!

I'm sorry, Lily.

You made a wave!

Who's the boiler?

Ooh!

May I ask you to move closer?

Thank you. I do not wish

to raise my voice too

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